Let's NOT Get it On

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by Rebecca G Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:49pm PDT

  I felt like I had been pawed on all day and the last thing I needed was someone else making more demands on me, especially when I was already asleep. My hubby knew better than to wake me up. Either go to bed earlier if you want sex or stay up late by yourself and put in some sexy movie to help out. I think he got off lucky, i would actually push his hands away in bed and roll over and sometimes be really nasty about being woke up.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Dubs Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:09pm PDT

  Sounds like the two of you could use a nice romantic candle lit dinner and talk about how you feel. Be open and honest about why you felt guilty with him and let the intimacy calm your nerves. We choose to fill our lives with responsibilities but when those responsibilities start getting out of control either by mismanagement, sheer amount, lack of assistance etc your gonna get stressed.

  If we can't talk about how we are stressed and ways to alleviate it with our partners whats the point of companionship, empathy and intimacy. Cuddle, get a massage, go for a walk together. (sex doesn't have to be the only option) Nothing wrong with starting from the locker room instead of sliding into home base off the get go.

  If I were Rex I'd set you up with a nice candle lit bubble bath and let you relax after a hard day followed by a nice chocolate banana brownie sunday. I do this for my SO all the time.

  "Horrible wife and mother?".....Hell no. You just need a break and some appreciated pampering. ;)

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by JennA Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:27pm PDT

  4 to 5 drinks will do the trick..hehe

  It's Fridaaaay....

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Andrea Frazer, Good Housekeeping Fri Jul 10, 2009 2:16pm PDT

  Thanks, all. I love all you single moms! So proud of you! Don't forget to get help and support when you need it! Andrea

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Aconite Fri Jul 10, 2009 2:22pm PDT

  You shouldn't feel guilty because you weren't feeling well and didn't want to have sex. Your husband should feel bad for being a jerk about it. Also, I think if a married couple has kids, and they both work, then they should take care of the kids and chores equally. Maybe you are tired because you do all the cooking and spend more time taking care of your kids? Maybe if he did more, you'd feel up to having sex and wouldn't be exhausted.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by tags Fri Jul 10, 2009 3:51pm PDT

  Sorry, Rex is a bit selfish. (waking you up was disrespectful) But If he wanted some attention and you've been through a horrible day then he needs to PUT you in the mood with a foot massage, some tender TLC, whatever you like to show the sex is all about you and him together, not him "getting some". It's all give and take. 24/7.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by allee Sat Jul 11, 2009 4:06am PDT

  So true. A few days ago my husband and I had already planned to have a together night. Then he proceeded to be grumpy about the things on the floor, and other stuf. I was already tired. I got our daughter to bed, and was laying in bed waiting. He was on the computer for some time. Then I had already fallen asleep. He comes in and shakes me awake, and says OK i am ready now. I had just been woken up, had been waiting for a few hours. And was definately no longer in the mood. I think I snapped at him, cause then he got all hurt and pissy. Stupid men. Next time he needs to get off the darn computer and actually pay attention to me. Then maybe he will get some. But not for a while. lol.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Delbert Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:49am PDT

  Sat. 07-11-09 10am

  First of all there are several factors going on here.

  One, How many kids do you have? 1,2,3,4? and what are their ages?

  Two, Who, is responsible for their well-being? Is it ONLY you, or are BOTH you and that "darling, handsome husband" of yours Rex, take responsibility for them too?

  Three, and MOST Important, I did not hear you say that you two are "WORKING TOGETHER"!!

  Since WHEN did you become-(trumpets please): SUPER MOMMY!??

  Somehow, someway, weeks, months, years ago you took on the work overload of too many responsibilities with too little time to get it all done. Where is Rex's role in all of this? How does he help out in the home, so that--his loving, sexy wife--can get a "time-out" or a much needed break? You two just have to sit down and have a-Long Talk!

  Clear your busy schedules and MAKE TIME TOGETHER FOR PASSION AGAIN!!

  Remember BEFORE you married him? Remember how you got all "prettied-up" for when you two went out on the town--TOGETHER! Well, do THAT again--but EVERY WEEK! Have Rex take the kids for a minimum of a few hours; 4,5,6,7,8--and when we comes back--make sure that he gets ALL the "kooky" that he can handle, ok? You promise a man he can have all the "kooky" he wants and your kids will be so exhausted when they get back that they will be telling you: "Mommy, we had a great time climbing the Great Wall of China, and next week daddy is taking us to see the Eiffel Tower!" You will smile, give Rex and BIG HUG, grab him by the hand and say: "LETS GET IT ON!!"

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Andrea Frazer, Good Housekeeping Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:12pm PDT

  Delbert - you are cracking me up. You have a very good point. I will think about this and post about it on my next column. Thanks to everyone else also!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Dark Force of Nature™ Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:30pm PDT

  So you had a bad day and weren't in the mood. You can always make it up to your husband when you are in the mood. I am sure he'll understand. If he doesn't, explain it to him. Keep the explanation short or you'll lose his attention. Besides, make up sex is always good! Don't expect perfection. Just do the best you can in life.

  Treat marriage like you are tending a garden. You till the earth, Fertilize the soil. Plant the seeds. Water the garden. Weed it. And reap the bounty of your efforts. It is always more work than you expect or want. But the rewards are more than worth it. Remember you and your husband are both the gardeners. A marriage only works as long as you BOTH work at it!

  Report Abuse