Life Between Separation and Divorce 2

First of all -  Thank you all for the comments.   They have made me think more about my life.  I never said I was religious - but I am.  I never said I was financially well off - and I am not.  I did not have a bad nor good childhood. I repeat:  although the relationship was on and off for over 8 years - it was mostly off.  During the off times I dated other guys, but it never worked out.  I never let the on again off again relationship mix with my other relationships.  The main question is why I married my husband.  I married him because I loved him and it is better to marry than to burn so says the Bible.  I wanted my children to grow up in a two parent household.  I believed him when he said that all those bad things had ended.  I am the type of person who gives their all or nothing.  I prayed a lot before getting married, and the answer I got was to go through with it. As a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason," I know that it was meant for us to get married.  I lost a child to SIDS about 12 years ago, and decided that from then on -  there wouldn't be any more "what ifs."  All of that is why I married him.  Yes, he had faults, but I am not perfect and cannot judge another.  I still love him, but I do not want to be with him in any fashion.    

I am definitely not financially well off. I just know how to budget very well.  Yes, I am very educated, but I have had bad luck getting a good job.  Either I don't have enough experience or I am over qualified.  I graduated with both of my undergraduate degrees about 6 years ago.  If I averaged my salary for all 6 years together, then it would be less than 20K a year.  I managed to survive on that with two small children and have my own house built about 2 years ago.     

Getting back to the "love of my life."  On that day, I did feel like this new guy was the love of my life.  I have NOT met a guy online in over 8 years, and NO that is not how I met my husband.  I met the new guy, who I will call Mr. Journey, in one of my MBA classes.  Yes, we have conversed only a few times.  I cannot bet on my life that he is the one, but neither can I bet that he is not.  No one knows what tomorrow brings or what it takes away.  Right now, I am just enjoying the idea of getting to know him better.  His undergraduate degree is very similar to one of mine, and I am excited to learn more about him regarding the decision to earn that specific degree.  We both have the same concentration for our MBA programs.  The similar undergraduate degrees have nothing to do with business - making it weird that we both ended up in the MBA program with the same concentration.  For the next year and a half, we will have at least one class together every semester (including the summer).  There is plenty of time to see if he is the love of my life.  If he is, then there is no need to force anything.  "Everything happens for a reason!"

Please keep the comments coming.  Comment on the writing and/or the content.  Thanks so much!