I need some advice from everyone. I was dating a coworker of mine
for about 6 months. Everything was great, but I felt like there was
a distance between us. So when I probed I found out that she was
already in a relationship and was living with her baby's daddy.
She was crying when she told me all this and when I asked if she
wanted to be with me or him, she said me. I knew with a child in
the mix, you can't just split just like that, but whenever I
would ask what was going on and what kinds of plans she was making,
she would change the subject. So the day came when I asked that
question again, do you want to be with me, and she told me it would
be selfish of her to ask me to wait. So we fell apart.
It's been a few months now, and we've kinda been talking
again. She is no longer with her baby's daddy. The more I talk
with her, the more those old feelings get stirred up again. My
question is: now that she is single, should I tell her about my
lingering feelings or should I just totally move on?
Lingering Feelings
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Comments 1-6 of 6
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 7:56pm PDT
Report Abusetell her! its going to make your relationship more open. and you'll feel relieved that you got if off your chest! i wish you the best!
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 8:26pm PDT
Report AbuseStay friends for a while! Untill everything is in the open. Then move forward. Best of luck
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 9:44pm PDT
Report Abusei think you should tell her.
it looks like youve been trying to help her from day one and care about her. if it all goes bad, you get an A+ for trying and she'll appreciate that.
all the luck to you!
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Posted by Sat May 23, 2009 10:00am PDT
Report AbuseFirst, decide what is really best for YOU.
Examine your own feelings well and do what you need to do to protect your own self-worth. This is a direction you can't go wrong on and it has nothing to do with being "selfish."
Communicate...communicate...communicate and then go slowly. Don't idealize, be realistic about all past, present and potential future information and if needed, get some advice from a trusted, confident female friend.
BEEN THERE...DONE THAT (only the other way around. :o)
My best wishes.....
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Posted by Tue May 26, 2009 7:09pm PDT
Report Abuseawwwww. that's so romantic. could you write me an article? i have this problem. there's this guy i really like, and for a while it seemed like he liked me, too. he's really nice and smart and funny. but i recently found out that he likes one of my friends. should i wait for him or move on?
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Posted by Tue May 26, 2009 9:10pm PDT
Report AbuseThank you everyone for your advice. Quick update, I did let her know what I felt, however, she wants to devote all of herself to her daughter and I can't deny her that.
Zenara, I think you should also follow these people's advice. I believe most women are stuck in the chivalrous past and think the man should have to be the one to court and ask her out. If you really like someone, go for them. I know that is easy to write and hard to say, but it is the fastest and surest way of knowing one's true feelings.
Comments 1-6 of 6
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