Love + Sex

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Love in the Time of Herpes

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GIANTmicrobes.com


Since we first started writing about sex nine (!) years ago, we've been passionate about providing safer sex info along with our sex advice. (And yes, we always insist on saying safer sex--because the only truly safe sex is with your own right hand.) We are so freakin' sick and tired of people complaining that using condoms and discussing your sexual history with a partner before doing the deed is "unsexy." And another thing we're sick and tired of? Sexual freakin' ignorance.

[Video: Do you ask about your partner's sexual history before sex?]

We're currently shooting a TV show based on our most recent manual, and as we were rehearsing a segment about STDs, one of the producers said, "You can't just say HPV, no one will know what you're talking about." To which Lo replied, tongue-only-half-in-cheek, "You probably have it." Seriously, people, 75 percent of you will be exposed to this virus at some point. Which makes it officially bigger than ANTM and American Idol combined. And yet no one in the entire studio had heard of HPV. Er, what?!!

[Video: A trip to Babeland opens up the wonderful world of condoms.]

And yet another thing which really gets our goat? The fact that, despite their popularity, STDs are still so stigmatized that people feel they have to lie about them in order to get laid. Which only makes things even more miserable for the few brave souls who decide to fess up. Which is why our new blog crush is Love in the Time of Herpes. Here's an excerpt from her latest post:

"I did everything by the book. I am not a prude, but picky, and actually always had a fear of contracting an STD. I would obnoxiously ring off the statistic to my friends, 'You know, one in four people have an STD, and condoms don't protect you from everything.'...The guy who gave me GHSV [genital herpes] was someone I knew and trusted, in my circle of friends...We used a condom. Isn't this what people do? Four days later I was at Planned Parenthood in tears, with a virus in my body that's never going to go away. My body, that I have always taken care of so well, that my mother took care of so lovingly before that. And one night of (protected!!!) sex, and I've thrown it away. (I haven't really, but that's how it felt at the time.)"

Give this blogger a medal for her services to the safer sex industry!

Related Links from Daily Bedpost and Glamour:

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 16
  • J617angel's Avatar
    Posted by J617angel Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:59pm PDT

    I don't know how anyone couldn't have heard of HPV with all of the guardasil commercials out there. My friend has HPV, she contracted it before there was a vaccine for it. She had only had three partners at the time and wasn't sure who had given it to her. The way she explained it to me was that they didn't test for it in men because it does no harm to them, they are just like carriers of it. Its amazing to me that when they test a man they don't test him for something that is so detrimental to a womans reproductive system, and that it can ruine a woman's life. Who dropped the ball with that one?

    I hope that by now (because this was 6 years ago) they are testing men also! I am very happy to see that you are taking this a step further than anyone, besides some highschool health teachers!

    Report Abuse
  • feather's Avatar
    Posted by feather Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:32pm PDT

    Hopefully they can find a cure for herpes... and all the std's out. We need to fund money towards, it...

    Report Abuse
  • Sara L's Avatar
    Posted by Sara L Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:25pm PDT

    I think when people picture a woman with herpes,they imagine this stereotype.

    The Woman:#1.She must frequent the bar or club.

    #2.She must dress provocatively or presumptiously.

    #3.When a man throws her a line,she bites.

    I happen to know a few women with herpes.They all are professional,preppy,and even referred to as prude.Mon.-Fri.They are exactly that.However,Fri.night and sat.night they are sexual predators.They prey on unsuspecting men.They never inform them of the fact that they have herpes and you'd never think they did.They will use lines like"I've never done this before"I can't believe I'm doing this"and so on.They under NO circumstances inform these men of the fact that they have genital herpes and I am certain they never will.So,you just never no and you shouldn't take chances based on a woman character.

    Report Abuse
  • Sara L's Avatar
    Posted by Sara L Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:25pm PDT

    I think when people picture a woman with herpes,they imagine this stereotype.

    The Woman:#1.She must frequent the bar or club.

    #2.She must dress provocatively or presumptiously.

    #3.When a man throws her a line,she bites.

    I happen to know a few women with herpes.They all are professional,preppy,and even referred to as prude.Mon.-Fri.They are exactly that.However,Fri.night and sat.night they are sexual predators.They prey on unsuspecting men.They never inform them of the fact that they have herpes and you'd never think they did.They will use lines like"I've never done this before"I can't believe I'm doing this"and so on.They under NO circumstances inform these men of the fact that they have genital herpes and I am certain they never will.So,you just never no and you shouldn't take chances based on a woman character.

    Report Abuse
  • iamsimonsmama's Avatar
    Posted by iamsimonsmama Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:32pm PDT

    I hate to tell you this people but HPV is human papilloma virus, not herpes. Herpes is shortened by saying HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus). There are 2 types of Herpes HSVI and HSVII. HPV has many different types and some cause cancer and some don't.

    Report Abuse
  • PsychoMagnet's Avatar
    Posted by PsychoMagnet Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:32pm PDT

    Don't get me started on any of this. I personally think that the government has way more to do with the BEING and CAUSING of more death causing diseases than they will admit. Where were these these things when your parents were growing up. OH, they had VD, take a shot and it was good to go in a bit. Now you have herpes and you keep that forever like luggage and AIDS, that just kills folks, wonder what uncle sam can come up with next? Like cancer, everyone has that cell/virus in their body, EVERYONE. If doctors can now spilt, remove, add to a persons DNA, why can't they single out the cancer virus and kill that before it kills us? OH YEA, no more research money would be needed, no more family members and loved ones would be affected. HUMPH, they can find it, cure it and get rid of it if they only would do it.

    Report Abuse
  • O M's Avatar
    Posted by O M Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:22am PDT

    Nope. Still no HPV test for men per the CDC website http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-and-men.htm#testforwomen.

    Makes no sense at all.

    Report Abuse
  • 999999999999999's Avatar
    Posted by 999999999999999 Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:55am PDT

    I agree with psychomagnet

    Report Abuse
  • Sara L's Avatar
    Posted by Sara L Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:47am PDT

    I aso agree iwth psychomagnet.

    Report Abuse
  • Annabel's Avatar
    Posted by Annabel Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:41pm PDT

    i also agree. Why would they come up with a cure when people are spending thousands and thousands of dollars for teatment?? Gee i wonder!! it's amazing how money controls this world.

    Report Abuse
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