Marriage, or the lack of

I used to believe in marriage because of all the fairytale stories that was fed to me when i was a kid.

Then I look around me, look at my parents (who's divorced), and then the statistics, i start to wonder where i got the perfect idolized view that marriage is all about ever after with butterflies, beautiful mansion, and cute kids...

My viewpoint begin to shift... I start to announce to people that i don't believe in marriage...
but that cannot be true as I'm the girl that is continuously staying in long term relationships, and being quite successful and happy in it too...

As I begin to define what my new definition of love and marriage is...ironically my new stand on marriage is base on a Hollywood movie call Hancock.

I'm sure some of you guys have seen it. A movie base on the epic love between two Gods, or "angels', or "creations", whatever. Always made in pairs, one male, one female, made to compliment each other. They can only grow old and get hurt when they are in close proximity of each other, otherwise they have superpowers. The girl of this pair got tired of seeing the male keep getting hurt, therefore left him to heal and learn to love an mortal instead. When the male finally found out, understands and become good friends of both of them...

The point is, how beautiful it is if the love for our mate encompass all forms of human restrictions? I'm talking about jealousy, suspicions, possession, immaturity, adrenaline, hormones, and TIME...

What is marriage? What is an ultimate love for another?
There are three answers to that, or three golden rules: one is respect, and two is never leave your mate hanging, and secrecy

I trust my mate because suspicions is poison. I do not feel jealousy if my mate dedicate too much of his time on work/friends, or even physically cheats on me, because he is not my possession nor my property, and that adrenaline, hormones, and sex is not the only thing defines my love for him or his love for me. As individuals we both have goals we want to achieve in life, and as life partner it is the number one rule to help each other to achieve it, no matter how hard, how much each other have to sacrifice personally without sacrificing our own goal. That is why, each person have to choose their mate carefully because under no circumstances one mate has to sacrifice their life dream for another, that will eventually cause unbalance with the relationship, with unequal powers between two sides the marriage is doom to fail (in my opinion, your marriage could be balanced in another way).

This idea is vice versa, work for both side of the relationship.

meaning, I expect my mate not to be suspicious of me, I expect my mate not to have jealousy because he should know that since i love him, That hell would freezes over before I leave him hanging and disrespect him emotionally, social standing wise, or within the family.

BUT, If I ever have physical exploration with another it is only on the physical side. This is where the secrecy comes in. Don't leave your mate hanging, don't ever tell your friends, family, or ANYone that you cheated on your mate if you did, because by telling your identity to your one night stand, or even developing a relationship longer than a one night stand is DISRESPECTFUL. Take care of your booboo if you are going to make one, don't jeopardize you, your partner's, and your family's reputation by announcing if you are cheating. It'll even be better if your mate know of your exploration with others, and that it is a both side endeaver and understanding, with the idea to keep it as a secret (meaning don't have to announce to your mate every single time). And always hold your Mate as the priority. If he/she shows/hint any uncomfortability, maybe it's not a good idea afterall.

My logic is that if you truely love your mate the idea or curiosity to sleep with another should only go as far as superficial, only physical, meaining, a bunch of "what-if's" scenarios for those who have too much time and active imagination (me!) lol. And honestly, if you truely love your mate he should already satisfy you physically as well as mentally, anything extra, kinky situations should be discussed. (lol)

And that, ladies and gentlement, is my ideal marriage. A partnership where both side support the other, no matter what, a system that is unbeatable, a trust that is unyeilding, the kind of love that is without suspicion because both side already know it is forever.

And the last element all love/marriage needs is laughter... so laugh alot! not everything in life should be serious afterall.

p.s. we all have to worry about germs and cootties, another reason not to sleep around, too much, and make sure to get check up ppls! And there's no such things as cheaters... i call them immaturity and lack of communication. B/c honestly i don't believe that one person actively think "hey let's break 10 hearts this month". Often it is one side is too dense to see that he/she doesn't really know the person afterall.