Momversation: Toxic Friendships

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  Posted by KittyKat Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:05am PST

  If your friend is a friend to you one day and a b**** to you the next day then she is not really your friend at all but a user. only there for you when she needs you but when you need them well f*** yourselves. Cut that person out of your life if they keep treating you that way.

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  Posted by sue Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:40am PST

  There is a woman in the town I live in who fits this description and more. She will talk about ALL her friends behind there back to other friends. She and her husband will even go so far as to have parties then the next day have people over to talk about others who were at there party. They list there friends in categories "A" list and "B"list. Then they will tell you if you do something they don't like you'll get moved to the "B" list. If you have a party they will tell you who they don't want you to invite. The woman makes sure when she has parties that the women and men are seperated. If you don't obey the rules she yells at you. These people spread horrible rumors about people on a regular basis if you "Cross" them. People are literally afraid of standing up to their manipulation and lies. We are one family who is living this now....but we are so much happier being away from the constant drama, lies, manipulation, and evil!

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  Posted by TravelAddict1967 Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:45am PST

  Friendships are a two-way street and when a friend decides she's your friend only on her "terms", it's not worth the time or effort. I've been in this situation a couple times now and it's frustrating, but it happens and I try repeatedly for awhile and then eventually move on.

  I had another situation in which I haven't completely severed the friendship, I just choose not to be in contact with her much anymore because she's a toxic personality, she's so miserable with her own life that she would pick on me instead and I would leave feeling bad about myself until I made the connection and pulled away. A mutual friend recognized this was happening to me too and understands why I've distanced myself.

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  Posted by Tasha Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:36pm PST

  I have a frenemy. Her mentality is twisted. We have a mutual friend who is sick. Her idea of helping her is having sex with her man. According to the frenemy she's just teaching her man how to give BJ's and helping him out until she gets better.

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  Posted by Mom Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:37pm PST

  I have a toxic friendship! 30 years down the drian. I should have quit while I was ahead. She started making strange nasty comment to me a few years ago. I began to distance myself from her. Then I seen a job offer for 2 cleaning people. I wanted the job and asked her to apply and work with me. I consider this to be one of the biggest mistakes in my life of 48 years, like in the top 5.

  My friend and I got the job working together. She began to run me down to everyone at work. Making up and talking trash to make herself look better than I am.

  She began to treat me horrible running me down in front of people. Starting rumors, working to get me fired.. it was crazy. I have finally distanced myself from her, even at work. The aftermath is still a disbelief that she was capable of doing this to me and I thought we were real friends.

  What has happened to me is I now trust no one outside my family. I do have lots of friends and neighbors I totally adore, but I'd rather hold my newer'friends' at a distance than have close friends.. like we were at one time. I have learned not to trust.

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  Posted by None Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:50pm PST

  I have an acquaintance whom I don't trust fully, I got this strange call: she put me down as a source contact if they could not reach her. Get this, the place that called me was a car title loan business, she owed money on her car, but she assured me she paid it, better not be using my information.......people..........I won't let my walls down, me being a paranoid untrustworthy person has never failed me.

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  Posted by Edshiona Wed Feb 18, 2009 1:08pm PST

  I have friends who seem to think i think I'm better or outgrown them, that was told to me by my closest friend, who I don't know if I could trust her anymore. Her way of thinking about life, and some of the thing she says, I didn't expect her to be that way as an adult. Other friends that I know seem to have this ideal that we didn't come from the same era,or have simular issues. I'm confused I question myself all the time to see if I'm the problem, and should I try to rectify it or let it be.

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  Posted by Voice of Reason Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:21pm PST

  Life becomes REAL easy when you follow these easy steps....

  1. Be secure in who you are

  2. Don’t let others opinions rule your life

  3. You don’t need others approval to feel good about yourself

  4. Make positive affirmations about yourself

  5. Lose the negative tape recording playing in your mind

  6. You do not need outside validation… quit trying to win approval

  7. Outside approval / compliments are not necessary

  8. It is OK to walk away

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  Posted by Gemini Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:43pm PST

  I have frienemy, she don't know she's my frienemy..keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Seriously I've tried to distance myself from her but everytime I pull away she seems to NEED me more...needs my shoulder, needs me to use me...(why am I still around) she's all I got. She was there when I got divorced and is the only one I know. My family isn't close to me and all I have are my kids but I can only lean on them so much. I need an adult to talk to sometimes... I don't know what to do except be there ...any advice? I'm trying to keep myself busy but she still's manages to squeeze herself into my schedule..like showing up at my door unannounced and I can't say I'm not home cause she knows she's the only one I got.

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  Posted by Alyssa. Sun Sep 20, 2009 7:11am PDT

  i currently have a BESTFRIEND ? and i call her now my FRENEMY :) we always go to school together but now,she go to school with her b---- COUSIN. i always go home late bcoz she wants me to stay at her crib so that we can bond. the time passes by and there comes the ARGUMENTS. everytime we argue,i always feel bad bcoz when she's mad,my other friends ? will also get mad at me. my FRENEMY thinks that she is the BOSS in our group. i really feel bad. CURRENTLY,were far away from each other. she's not talking to me nor texting me. its really HARD to find TRUE FRIEND. i thought that she was the one but IM WRONG. REALLY wrong .. i hope that she could learned her mistakes ..

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