Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Move over, Bridezilla--the "Groominator" is coming!

My husband's cousin is getting married at the end of this month. I'm very happy for the sweet, accomplished, smart, and modern couple. A couple of weeks back, my MIL (Mother-In-Law) hosted a shower for her. As we sat sorrounding the beautiful bride (and, indeed, she is very beautiful) we fell into the inevitable wedding planning chat. (They are paying for it themselves, on top of building their home--WOW!) Cousin "JM" started telling us how her future husband is the one who obsesses over every little detail of this wedding. (Ladies, isn't that just REFRESHING?) JM was telling us about how he has a whole bunch of spreadsheets (!?!?!?!) that he uses to keep track of all the details, like whether his bride's bouquet should be tied with a ribbon or not, and if it will what kind of fabric, width, color, et cetera, et cetera. (Paging Yul Brynner!)

As we sat there wide-eyed and open-mouthed listening to JM state how her sweetie kept bugging her about details she could not care less, I thought, oh my--she IS complaining! It seems that the Groominator was obsessing over the ribbon for the bride's bouquet, the color of the napkins (because the wrong shade of pink will force him to call the florist and rework the flower arrangements), and whether the flower girls dresses should be a certain lenght or not.

Another amazing fact revealed about this man is that HE is the one who is the obsessive neat freak, cook, and financial manager in the home; JM is just happy to delegate and enjoy the fruits of a beautiful home, perfectly organized papers and finances, and delicious healthy meals on the table--no wonder she's got this smashingly healthy figure!

This makes me wonder a few things: Is this the new thing--men who obsess over their weddings just like some neurotic women do? Could this possibly be an isolated incident? (Somehow I doubt this.) Where was my husband when they were giving the men these traits, at the I-do-not-know-how-a-hamper-works line? Were the other women at the shower secretly seething and green with envy (like little petty me), or were they blessing their lucky stars they didn't have to deal with a Groominator of their own?

Oh, before I forget: Do you Shiners think that the termed I coined (as far as I know it is an original creation) "Groominator" is good for this phenomenon? Any other suggestions? I will write a list of the other suggestions the Shiners who comment on this post make; heck, we might have the beginnings of a new buzz word for America!

Share your thoughts, Shiners!
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Comments 1-3 of 3
  • Terry Marsh's Avatar
    Posted by Terry Marsh Tue May 20, 2008 11:02pm PDT

    Whooaaa!!! Slow the down the white stallions and cornation laden carriage. Can anybody say...obssesive compulsive? Sure, laying back chilling and sipping apple martini's while this guy plans every detail of a wedding AND building a house seems pretty fairy taleish right now, but to this self-confessed neatness fanatic, sumthin' ain't quite right.

    Even if this guy is an accountant, planning minute details of a wedding on spreadsheets isn't the kind of thing guys do. I'm not a licensed psychologist, but this guy sounds a little too controlling to me. Hope everything works out for her sake.

    Report Abuse
  • Catta's Avatar
    Posted by Catta Thu May 22, 2008 1:54pm PDT

    I totally agree with you, Terry. I never thought this was common. I hope for her sake too that she is cool with it.

    Report Abuse
  • KBWomen's Avatar
    Posted by KBWomen Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:45pm PDT

    "Groominator" is excellent! May I use it too?

    This is definitely a very RARE incident. I doubt it's the new "thing". Actually, I've never heard of a groom being this nit-picky and obsessed. And believe me... I've heard a lot of wedding stories!! www.NWweddingplace.com!

    Report Abuse
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