i am not emotionally invested in this question except it sucks to
be the friend that is going through it and never had to handle this
situation so i'm curious from others. after moving in with your
bf/gf you feel it was a mistake because you've never lived with
a partner before and didn't realize how many changes were
involved and how many constrictions would be put on personal space.
she says she is madly in love with this person, they've
lived together for at least a year now, maybe a little less not
sure, they don't fight a lot, they actually are quite happy
(her words), but she wants and has wanted her personal space back.
she thinks she has to break it off and just be friends if he's
willing to be friends because if she moves out she'll have put
a crack in the foundation and inevitably break up anyway. i think
she should tell him what she toldme, if she really still
wants to be with him, and they can figure it out together, but i
also know relationships can be fragile.
so to the big question or questions.
1. what happened to your relationship if ya been through it?
2. what realistic strains will it put on the relationship?
3. if she is being fully honest with wanting to continue this
relationship, but already feels like she broke it, then is it
indeed broken?
moving out, not breaking up
user
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 2:32am PDT
Report AbuseI lived with an ex when I was between apartments and once when I couldn't find an apartment (college town). I felt the same way but it was kinda implied that it was temporary. It can be tough but if they're mature, it can be talked out and may even make things better.
It really depends on how long they've been together before moving in. I don't know why people are so quick to move in. It would've probably been easier to just move a little of her stuff in and stay with him for a while and see how it goes. It can put a strain on things if he's ready to get really serious or married. I think the relationship is only broken in her mind. But depending on the details of the situation, she could sit him down and just be honest and tell him that she thought she'd be ready to llve together but isn't. They can still have a relationship because living together isn't an end all and be all. It's just a place to live to me. But it sounds like there's more going on if she wants to end the relationship over this. I wish her good luck though.
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