I always say it - married sex is about connection. It's when Rex gets me and I get Rex. I don't care how amazing he fills out his jeans. (And he does.) After ten years together, I might not feel ye old flame rising like I did on our early years of dating. But if, after a long day of deadlines, he takes the time to compliment me on how nice I look in my jeans, well, you can better believe later that night his 501's are coming off.
Same goes for him. I can walk up to him naked with a beer, but if I first haphazardly placed it on his new book, leaving a nasty ring mark, the only thing he's going to want his mouth on is the Newcastle. Order is important to him. To me? Not so much. But to him, yes, and I try to respect that.
Before any of you think I'm just a self-serving narcissist that needs to be told how cute I am (though it doesn't hurt) it's not about vanity. And is Rex a bit anal at times? Yeah, but it's not about him being controlling. It's about each of us knowing what fills up the other person. You know... the stuff that makes them go, " Ahhhh.... " Because when one is going " Ahhh " they're more likely later to go " Oooooh ..." And of course the inevitable " Yes ... Yes ... YES!"
Never did I think I'd be writing about sex for living, but since I am, I thought I'd share with you some of the blogs that I read that deal specifically with how to drive your mate wild. You know... the ones with pictures of gaping cleavage and huge... smiles. The ones with detailed positions and how to achieve mind blowing orgasms. They are:
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Keep looking.
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Don't see them? Neither do I. Why? Because they're not there.
I don't get turned on by just pictures of sex. Or ads for sex. Like I said before, sex for me is about intimacy. And I know that's totally boring. And I would love to hear any of you married women (and men) with full time jobs, kids, health issues, pet problems, and money worries to tell me that after 10 years it's still about the bada boom bada bing of a naked spouse only. At one time, yes. But now?
While I do need Rex to fulfill me (in fact, when he doesn't, I'm not as happy... I won't lie) I also know that there are things Rex can't fulfill me on. And I'm learning to be okay with that. And that's where my favorite blogs come in. I will be posting a Top 10 List on Friday. Stay tuned… And don’t forget to tune into your spouse. So important!
Posted by Andrea Frazer
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