My so-called sex life: On your knees, boy

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  Posted by PATTY Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:36pm PDT

  GO ON SIS!THE ESSUE OF RELIGION DOES NOT MATTER,BUT WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART AND YOUR INTENTIONS MATTERS MOST.YOU BELIEVE THAT BEING CATHOLIC PREACHES EVERYTHING AND YOUR VERY VOCAL OF WHAT YOU WANTED AND WHAT YOU FEEL,BUT MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL THE SAME,BUT CAN'T EXPRESS BECAUSE OF EGO.WE ALL KNOW THAT MAN ARE EGOISTIC CREATIONS,SOMETIMES WE SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE DEEPER MEANING OF LOVE AND SACRIFICES.FOR ME, AS LONG AS MY HUSBAND WON'T HEAT OR PUNCH ME OR COMMITED EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR,NO BIG DEAL AT ALL,WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS, HE IS RESPONSIBLE AND LOVING TO THE FAMILY. ANYWAY,WE BELONG CLOSELY TO A CATHOLIC FAMILY.GUD LUCK!

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  Posted by Brittany Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:27pm PDT

  As a nonbeliever, I would find it difficult to go to church, even with a significant other. I would respect an S.O.'s beliefs and faith in a higher power, however, that doesn't mean I would need to go to church with him. I would become very irritate if I was constantly berated about not going.

  Just my two cents...

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  Posted by Brittany Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:27pm PDT

  *irritated

  I also with I could spell!

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  Posted by Inky Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:44pm PDT

  I am Pagan and my Fiance is Buddhist. Though he doesn't beleive in my Gods and Goddesses, he still respects that I DO. He comes to church functions with me, and though he doesn't paticipate in ritual, he's there to socialize and soak up the good vibe that a group of like-minded people can put off. He has even gone so far as to talk about having a Pagan Handfasting ceremony, because he understands how important it is to ME. We all do things we don't necessarily want to (or believe in???) for the ones we love. Marriage is a compromise like that.

  I'm not saying Rex should be there every Sunday morning, (remember, compromise) but once a month wouldn't hurt, would it??

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  Posted by Michael Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:46am PDT

  I'm not going to be much help. Growing up, it was family time. We would go to church and to breakfast and to see my grandparents. The week wasn't the same without that connection, spiritually either. I want to carry the feeling forward with my family. But I once dated someone who didn't attend church and who absolutely, angrily refused to go with me. No alternatives. No compromises. Leave him out. I didn't understand. And it wasn't about just this. He never compromised. Come together only where we come together - just what's comfortable and fits, "like an old shoe." I loved him for him, but what he wanted was a buddy: a shopping buddy or a tennis buddy or a f--- buddy or a roomy or whatever he was choosing for the moment. I was welcome to play the part. I went along with it for a while but what I really wanted was a partner. It was hard accepting he would never be that.

  As long as you're not trying to convert him, are potentially open to finding a new church where he might feel more comfortable, and are willing to return the favor, I don't see why he should refuse you a couple hours on the weekend if it's important to you.

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  Posted by Michael Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:46am PDT

  And another thing for all of you who want to grandstand and make this some sort of philosophical showdown. She said he doesn't oppose the children being raised in the church, he just doesn't want to go.

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  Posted by Kelly Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:07am PDT

  It is hard to raise and family why being divided due to religion. I do feel for you since I have been there myself. Worshiping as a family unit is important and even though you married him being of a different faith I am sure a small part of you always hoped he would soften towards your faith and the faith you are instilling in the children that you both parent. I agree with Amy An and see if there is any compromise that can be made and throw in an incentive to give him something to look forward to. Eventually he will see what you are wanting him to see. Take Care

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  Posted by Tight Angel Thu Jun 19, 2008 10:22am PDT

  I'm a Pagan and my husband is, well he really doesn't have any beliefs even though he was brought up in a Christian household. I don't force him to see things from my spiritual point of view and he doesn't bash how I see things and what I believe in. We love each other and accept each other for who we are. And no, sex and religion are not similar in any way shape or form. No matter if you may not be in the mood early on and then halfway through feel the heat and passion and get all horned up, I can guarantee without a shadow of a doubt that your husband will not suddenly "see the light" halfway through a Sunday sermon. Your spirituality comes from your heart while your passion and desire for sex is driven by your groin. Last time I took a biology class those things were located in 2 totally different areas.

  Yeah now people are going to be clammering about how sex has to do with emotions like love and I say to you...BULL s---! DO you think that the first human beings to have sex were in love? No. They wanted to survive. It was about survival of the fittest. Thus why animals procreate. So yes, I am comparing us to animals. When it all comes down to it, and I really want you to stop and think about it. Be honest now. When you have sex, are you thinking about if your partner is enjoying themself? I know I'm not. I'm thinking about how good it feels to ME and what he can do to make it feel better for ME. So please stop comparing religion with sex. It sickens me to think that someone out there is actually that stupid to think that getting down on your knees to pray can compare to getting down on your knees to suck your man's johnson.

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  Posted by Dan Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:25pm PDT

  It sounds like he respects your religious values very much (i.e. not treating you badly for believing in a religion he doesn't agree with or believe in; not saying anything when you go to church or trying to keep you from going; letting you teach your values to your guys' children without teaching his own, giving them the opportunity he never had as a child. It sounds like he is being very open minded and respectful about your religion and yet you are trying to force him to go to a place where his beliefs are not only frowned upon but are almost put down in an insulting manner by the clergy and the church members who say it's sinful. Sounds like you're the one being selfish here, not him. Am I wrong?

  I am a 32 yr old athiest, who was raised Catholic. I looked into many religions during my late teen years and into my early to mid 20's. I looked into Buddhism, Christianity, Mormonism, Baptism, etc. and found none of them suited my particular values, including catholicism. Eventually I decided that I was in fact Athiest after many years of difficult soul searching. No one in my family (parents, siblings, brother-in-law, niece) is athiest, they are all catholic ranging from non-practicing up to my niece who goes to a private catholic school for her education. We don't always understand each others beliefs but we all do try make a conscience effort to respect each others boundries. I only attend church for special occassions like when my 8yr old niece is in the lime-light (i.e. singing on stage during christmas mass or in a play), otherwise I never attend, even for weekly mass.

  With out going into much detail, and I know that some (not all) religious, and non-religious people alike, will have a difficult time in understanding this, but going to church for me is like a sin inside itself. I believe many people place too much emphasis on seeking god for answers that they already have inside themselves. They seek god to fix their problems when they can fix it themselves by "doing" instead of praying, and use god as a scape-goat "of sorts" by blaming him for issues in their lives and the lives of others in this world instead of taking responsibility for our own faults, actions, and misdeeds and by fixing them ourselves or just accepting the fact that if we made a conscience effort to try to fix the world instead of praying for it, then we could actually fix it instead of just complaining about it.

  In the end though, both my family and I try our best to respect each others beliefs, values and boundries. There are skirmishes occassionally, but with some minor effort we always get past them.

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  Posted by Lisa Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:39pm PDT

  Honestly everyone has their own views on religion. It had never done anything for me. I was born and raised Catholic. And when I was 15 years old I began to question the church's principles and question whether God believed in them or not. I left the church at 17 and vowed to never return to the immense guilt and blindness that i was thrown into as a child. I am still a child of God; however, God and I are working things out spiritually and at my own pace. Religion does nothing but divide people. We should bring together people not segregate them based on their religions. If you husband chooses not to attend then don't bother him about it. Him and God have their own relationship to worry about. You should not intervene. And by you using mild threats and punishments seems kind of mean and non understanding of you. Everyone deserves to have their own relationship with God.

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