Love + Sex

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My so-called sex life: Sex with Mr. Big

I haven't seen the Sex and the City movie yet, so don't spoil it for me in the gobs of comments I've been getting lately.

Like some of your sex lives, and often times mine, that first line is a joke. But it doesn't have to be. Did you know, people, that you can leave me a note or email me? It might take a second to sign up for comments on this column, but after that, it's bombs away. Sometimes you have to sign in, exit, and sign back. Why? I don't know. But why do men do what they do half the time? It just works better to accept and keep at it.

For anyone out there who hates my ramblings, leave a note anyway. I thrive on negative criticism, being the product of Catholic school and all.

Back to my original point - which *** Includes a Spoiler on Sex and the City - so skip the next few lines if you're a stickler: I hear is that Carrie's man, Big - who I think is so friggin' sexy - is not so likeable. Okay, coast clear.

Here's what I want to know (and this is where the comments come in... don't fail me, people): What is it about big that is better? Yes, I'm talking about the size of guys' appendages, but I'm also talking about men that are larger than life, whether it be due to lots of money, personality, power, fame or humor. Often times it's plain machismo and huge cockiness (emphasis on the first four letters of that last word) that gets the normally reserved librarian throwing off her glasses in a hormonal frenzy of skyrocketing libido.

As for me, I like big guys as much as the next girl. Especially, given my height. At 6'1, it's hard to feel dainty in the arms of a man that has to lean on my chest to dance. Only once, many moons ago, did I fall in love with a fellow of slighter stature. True of a classic romance movie, we never even kissed. Perhaps the wanting him, which was bigger than any consummated liaison would prove to be, was what drew me to him even more. For what he lacked in height he gained with a huge heart. Generous, gentle with big warm eyes, he naturally ended up with someone else. I haven't seen him in over ten years.

Perhaps, like my beau that never was, my memories are larger due to the pasasge of time. But it's hard to still feel remorse with Rex now in my life. With his size 14 shoes and huge conscience, my husband has the ability to calm me down when I'm freaking out about 3 columns due, a trip to pack for, and a child on antibiotics. Now that's huge.

So tell me, what is it about a big man that does it for you. Or not?

* I'll return many of your comments when I'm home from vacation this weekend.


Posted by Andrea Frazer


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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 84
  • Educated's Avatar
    Posted by Educated Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:09pm PDT

    Women who complain about men should start having better taste in them. How many women do we ALL know that fell for a large, arrogant, male bimbos and embraced their bad boy fetish just so they could get traded in like a used car a few years down the road. When you are attracted to someone because of their size and their "confidence" it is every bit as stupid as a man who will only date a woman with C cups or larger - or the one who will not date past 25 - or blondes only, etc, etc. WOmen learn this simple lesson every day when the alpha male they were attracted to for no other reason than badness dumps them for a younger, better looking women.

    As for genital size, well, lets be fair then. Once you have a child gals - then don't think you will ever be attractive to a man again. Same goes for you "very, very experienced" gals. Like Stewey said in Family guy: "what, is there any tread left on that tire - or is having sex with you like throwing a hot dog down a hallway."

    Large, confident, arrogant men are usually steroid puppies that have their genitals shrunk because of it.. ANd they are also the lot from which domestic abuse gets its participants. True that. But this unnatural affection for bad boys keeps beaten women going back to their abusers over and over. This is more like a national illness. Both genders in the USA are attracted to the WRONG things.

    ANd whether we're talking about that or genital size, what goes around - comes around. Don;t expect your alpha male to stick around to long or be loyal to you once you've had a child, gals. You wouldn't want him to cheat himself, would you ? Just apply your own childish ethos to yourself and realise that you asked for it from the start.

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  • Sasha G's Avatar
    Posted by Sasha G Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:11pm PDT

    The connection is the important thing.....and size does matter....but there is such a thing as too big just like there is too small.....being a small girl,4'11, Big things can be intimidating. BUt that's just me.Evryone is different so there is not one answer to everything. Especially in a case like this. Each woman likes something different and each man likes something different. It just depends on the person.

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  • SandraS's Avatar
    Posted by SandraS Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:26pm PDT

    Size does matter to a certain degree. I do like to know that IT is actually there, but not so big that I cannot even wrap my thumb and index finger around it! I am most comfortable with a little over the average (which I have read is 5") not twice that! That's way more than I care to handle!

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  • candy's Avatar
    Posted by candy Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:50pm PDT

    Terry Nash, "ITs important to me" blog already asked this question as a blog..check out his site..

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  • NYC SB's Avatar
    Posted by NYC SB Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:01pm PDT

    i believe in things in moderation...a huge guy will hurt but a decent size guy who knows what he is doing will allow you to experience things on a whole other level...

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  • class-e's Avatar
    Posted by class-e Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:13pm PDT

    What about if they're "average" length, a little less than average width, and there is hardly no motion (u know, hard core f*@*ing), but the personality is out of this world? The kind of sex to where a couple days after sex ur kind of no longer interested, but then after a few more days of awesome conversation, u find ur self back crazy about him? Do you stick it out, or let it go???????

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  • Leon's Avatar
    Posted by Leon Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:31pm PDT

    i love it all

    Report Abuse
  • Leon's Avatar
    Posted by Leon Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:32pm PDT

    i love it all

    Report Abuse
  • Leon's Avatar
    Posted by Leon Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:32pm PDT

    i love it all

    Report Abuse
  • Leon's Avatar
    Posted by Leon Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:32pm PDT

    i love it all

    Report Abuse
Comments 11-20 of 84

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