Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

New Plan: Give Your One-Night Stand A Gift

The one-night stand "before" is almost as exciting as the "after" is awkward. Everyone's keyed up. Irrespective of booze's involvement, there is a certain headiness that something sordid is in the offing. So you do what comes naturally, and some time later tunnel vision returns to normal vision, your heartbeat lowers to its regular pace and blood begins circulating into it's standard route, rather than pooling in various locales.

Now comes the awkward part. As one million thoughts flood your brain, you try to read the other person's mind by starting sentences with the word "so..." and letting it drag out. Eventually, you are keenly aware that you just saw each other naked or still are naked. A graceful exit takes some combination of gusto, elan, savoir faire and bluntness that most of us hope to but will never possess. No matter of what was previously said, there is always a chance that one or both of you may have "caught feelings" while you were rolling around in there. Read: A One-Night Stand Can Actually Be Great

There are lots of great guides to one-night stands, and a large portion of the advice focuses on the holy trinity of managing expectations, safety and general courtesy. But I think there should be a more tangible takeaway.

If the sex was good, you may desire a keepsake. (Although I do not condone robbing someone after you just had it off with them, aight?). And if it was crummy (c'mon, it was still sex), you deserve a parting gift. After all, you don't leave The Price Is Right without at least a tchochke.

When you give a parting gift, it's critical that everyone be on-board with the idea that you will not be seeing each other again in this capacity; otherwise it's either courtship with a sequential problem or more of a prostitution scenario. Note that this move is the opposite of the Costanza Maneuver in which you leave behind a personal item to facilitate a reunion with someone who may or may not desire to reconnect. Everyone has been Costanza-ed a time or two.

My sister (also my boss, it's complicated) came up with this "parting gift" idea after purchasing 20 copies of a friend's book and we brainstormed what to do with them. Unfortunately, she's married and I am average looking, five pounds too heavy and short on pick them up artist skills, so one of you, dear readers, will have to test this one out. Let us know how it goes, and think about T-shirts, old DVDs and books, used or new, as your gifts.

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Written by Tom Miller for Tomfoolery.  Follow him on Twitter @TomfooleryTM
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 18
  • Sarah's Avatar
    Posted by Sarah Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:16am PDT

    Ahaha, "caught feelings." This is one of the reasons I've never had a one-night stand.

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  • nycgoofygal's Avatar
    Posted by nycgoofygal Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:23am PDT

    Does a hickey count as a parting gift? My last one-nighter gave me one of those. But not on my neck.

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  • Melanie's Avatar
    Posted by Melanie Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:43am PDT

    What about breakfast? They can leave with a full belly to help cure the hangover they surely have!

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  • LoveN's Avatar
    Posted by LoveN Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:32am PDT

    Definitely have to be careful bout the gift -- if it's too nice/meaningful, could lead the other person to believe you want more than just the one-night stand. Great, if you do. Not so great, if you don't...

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  • K.E.'s Avatar
    Posted by K.E. Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:32am PDT

    I LOVE this idea. In my younger days when I had one-night stands, I'd send the guys a book related to their fields or interests. They always appreciated it. Just says, "I'm cool with how things are and thanks for the memory."

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  • Nils's Avatar
    Posted by Nils Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:33am PDT

    A hickey most definitely counts as a parting gift... plus it's rather hilarious.

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  • Claire's Avatar
    Posted by Claire Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:34am PDT

    I always think coffee in the morning is nice.

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  • Jonny's Avatar
    Posted by Jonny Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:00pm PDT

    Hearing "you were great" without sarcasm or an eye-roll would be all the gift I'll probably ever need. If I ever get one back to my place, I'll probably have to promise to write a song about them or something.

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  • D's Avatar
    Posted by D Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:48pm PDT

    herpes! the gift that keeps on giving.

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  • ElizabethB's Avatar
    Posted by ElizabethB Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:54pm PDT

    I don't know. In theory its nice. In execution, awkward

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Comments 1-10 of 18

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