News flash: Teens who take virginity pledges don't keep them

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  Posted by DutchRunner Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:03pm PST

  I never made a formal "pledge" but as a Christian I believed sex was to be within the boundaries of marriage. I wore a ring symbolizing my commitment to purity until the day I married. I got married at age 26 several months ago and have been delighted with all aspects of the choices I have made...when things are done the right way there is incredible blessing. My husband and I consummated our marriage on our wedding night and he is the only man I have ever been with. The last months have been the happiest of my life.

  As for the writer's comment about how she was "a pretty hardcore Christian." Going to church and going on missions does not make you a true believer as I think most people understand. It takes true faith and commitment to lead a life of sanctification. Sure, teens can make pledges because of parental and church pressure or because everyone else within their circle is but eventually everyone has to own the faith they were brought up in for themselves. I literally know dozens of young people within my circle that saved themselves for marriage and yes, to be fair, one girl who got pregnant out of wedlock.

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  Posted by DutchRunner Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:07pm PST

  I never made a formal "pledge" but as a Christian I believed sex was to be within the boundaries of marriage. I wore a ring symbolizing my commitment to purity until the day I married. I got married at age 26 several months ago and have been delighted with all aspects of the choices I have made...when things are done the right way there is incredible blessing. My husband and I consummated our marriage on our wedding night and he is the only man I have ever been with. The last months have been the happiest of my life.

  As for the writer's comment about how she was "a pretty hardcore Christian," going to church and going on missions does not make you a true believer as I think most people understand. It takes true faith and commitment to lead a life of sanctification. Sure, teens can make pledges because of parental and church pressure or because everyone else within their circle is but eventually everyone has to own the faith they were brought up in for themselves. I literally know dozens of young people within my circle that saved themselves for marriage and yes, to be fair, one girl who got pregnant out of wedlock.

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  Posted by RyneishaB_05 Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:09pm PST

  I read something similar to this earlier and i do believe that teaching teens about protecting theirself should be done because of the fact that everyone doesnt keep their promise. They should know how to protect themselves from getting preganant and or getting an STD. Why hold back valuable information that can prevent them from harming themselves. I have never taken a virginity pledge, and when your young i dont think that your truly aware of what is being asked of you, your just going along for the ride and as soon as someone comes along, and one thing leads to another and the next thing you know is your having sex but unprotected sex because no one prepared you for what could happen and now your stuck and ashamed because you failed your parents, god, friends and family that knew all the possibilities but failed to tell you. I do believe in saving yourself for marriage but we do as adults have to be realistic and say "okay youve chosen to abstain from sex until your married but her are some things you need to know just in case..." I think that will save a lot of teens from going through teen pregnancies and other stuff that comes along with having sex.

  Great post:)

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  Posted by opiniononly Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:18pm PST

  Teenagers are more apt to lie about sex than tell the truth. The results of studies that research celibacy and sexual activity are often skewed by teens who say they do, when they don't and say they don't, when they do. They are the most statistically unreliable group to study and longitudinal research consistently shows wide disparity between initial data and summary data. I read this study with a grain of salt, as I do with most studies that claim definitive facts regarding sexual behavior. This study can be rebutted by countless others that will claim, as scientific fact, that abstinence-only pledges do work. That being said, the author's desire for us to develop solid sex education programs is valid. The question, which no one appears to successfully answer, is how to affect long term, appropriate choices of teenage behavior. After all, we can't even get adults to practice safe and healthy sexual choices.

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  Posted by Rae Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:20pm PST

  Thank god for this article. Youth + Sex usually ends up in something more than what they ever bargained for. I think that Education is the ONLY way to help them be more responsible. How can you expect someone to make an covenant, or agreement about something they dont understand and to protect thier bodies when they are inexperienced with how to control urges in all different aspects in their lives. I am not saying they are out of control. I am just saying that a young person has a harder time than ever having to control their emotional levels and auto-responses to a very sexual world. Even the cartoons (anime) can be extremely suggestive. Abstinence is nice in a perfect world but this is not a perfect world, far from it. Reality needs to be dealt with. Take Care-Rachel.

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  Posted by checkout_chick Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:44pm PST

  I don't see much of a point for teaching teens abstinence. It's good in theory, but when all that's taught is abstinence, schools forget to tell their students how to have SAFE sex. Which means if they don't follow the abstinence idea, then they have no idea what to do to keep themselves healthy. So... why not teach both?

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  Posted by Megan Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:17pm PST

  i took a pledge and i stuck with it for about a year and then i didnt feel cool or have the power in my group at school anymore , so i broke it to a guy i love . but i try to teach the freshman at my school not to do the same thing . but i beleve that it should be teached in schools and by the students too

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  Posted by Question girl Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:59pm PST

  Just because some teenagers do not have enough integrity to keep their promise's. Does not mean that all us teenagers are lustful little bunnys that cannot keep control of ourselves. Give us a little credit we do what we want because we want to. Abstinance is the best and least expensive way to stop the passage of STD's and unplanned pregnancy.

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  Posted by D Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:22pm PST

  This is not surprising at all!

  "it's nice to see a study proving as scientific fact that abstinence-only messaging for teens just isn't working and is possibly harmful."

  Yes, I agree with this, but unfortunately for certain parents this will mean nothing. They believe what they want to believe, even if there is proof!

  "do you think discouraging teens to not have sex should also include some info on how to stay safe if they choose not to abstain?"

  Yes! I was taught everything in a high school health class, back in 1994 and it worked. They showed us pictures of STD's, how to use condoms, where to get BC pills, etc.

  It doesn't make any sense at all to keep vital life saving information away from a teenager. Teenagers will continue to have sex. Educating them doesn't mean they have a free pass to go willy nilly, give them some credit!

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  Posted by Hillary Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:24pm PST

  Listen people,

  I am a teenager currently in highschool. I can tell right now that more than half the students at my school are not virgins. We were taught about abstinence in classes and also at little events to get us out of class. I can honestly say that I am a virgin but I have many friends who are not and also have been with many partners. You may think its due to the "group" i hang out with but these people im reffering to are well mannered and civilizd. I mean no druggies or party posse's. Everyday I see more and more pregnant teens who are too young to even be able to drop out. Soemthing needs to change and fast.

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