Love + Sex
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
On Being the Other Woman
user
I am single person. The last boyfriend I had was in 2001 and
we broke up. We met again after 8 years and realize that we love
each other. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is married to another woman
and they have children. I know it is wrong to fall in love with a
married man, but my boyfriend told me he never was in love with his
wife and they are not compatible. He wants to continue the
relationship that we have. Is it ok to continue the relationship
that I have right now? How can I help him?
SingleEdition.com Lifestyle Expert Sherri
Langburt's Answer:
It’s interesting that you refer to this man as your boyfriend
several times in your letter. While he may have played that role in
your previous life, nearly a decade has gone by and things clearly
are very different from where you last left off. It may be hard for
you to fathom, but as long as he is married and living in the same
house as his wife and kids, his primary role remains as husband and
father, no matter how you may want to convince yourself
otherwise.
For many singles, reconnecting with a past love is comforting,
exciting and safe. But when that person is married you become
an accomplice to a major moral transgression. If what you want most
is to help this man then give him the proper chance to address his
marriage issues without you as a distraction or safety
net......continue reading on SingleEdition.com
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Related: single, relationships, marriage, infidelity, dating, cheating
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Posted by Nancy Tue Nov 3, 2009 9:29am PST
Oh please stay away from this man!!! Please don't do this!!! For starters...how do you know he is
being honest with you in saying he has never loved his wife? Very good chance he is lying through
his teeth. Now if you do not want to consider the emotions and well being of his wife that is you choice, however keep in mind that those children he has with her will be affected by the actions of the
adults around them for the rest of their lives.
You need to tell him to fix his issues. If they cannot be fixed then a different decision needs to be made...divorce. Then you are free to love him all you want should he still want you.
Please do not do the wrong thing
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Posted by another hockey fan Tue Nov 3, 2009 12:13pm PST
Here's the deal. He told you that he loves you, but the reality is that he is just looking for an escape from his marriage. He may act, feel and behave like someone in love, but it's just because he doesn't know how to deal with whatever is going on in his marriage. Do not continue to see this man based on that fact alone if you don't care about his marriage. Do you think if you two were together he wouldn't feel the same about you eventually too? Men like this are rarely ever marriage material, let alone boyfriend material. They need to grow up and learn how to resolve their issues. I also suggest that if you continue to see this man that maybe YOU need to grow up too.
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Posted by Kim Tue Nov 3, 2009 2:50pm PST
Honestly dont be an idiot, he married her and dumped you, if he truly loved you wouldn't of been the other way around? Sorry for being harsh but if you want to find real love, it wont be in him....
for starters, lets say they divorced and you became a step mom...the kids will forever hate you for tearing thier parents apart.
next, maybe he goes back to the wife... hes doing it now, why wouldnt he do it agian?
and finally, you can live the rest of your life knowing you are a home wrecker
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Posted by Coug Girl Tue Nov 3, 2009 2:58pm PST
You'll never completely have him, and if he's doing this to his wife, he'll most likely do it to you. Be fair to yourself and get out.
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Posted by Beth Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:17pm PST
I was in a relationship with a married man about 9 years ago it was a headache! I loved the man but he always chose his wife and kids. He aslo told me he was not happy but he was not doing anything about it. I was with him for 3 years had encounters with his wife! After awhile I found out she was preagnant again! I left him after that and the fumnny thing is about 3 years after I left him he divorced his wife and remarried and had a kid with his new wife. So it is a touchy subject some might leave they wife cause they really are unhappy and some just play the game but never leave their wife and kids!!
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Posted by M22 Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:25pm PST
If he didnt love her, they shouldnt have popped out children and he needs to realize that he is stuck now. His fault, teach him a lesson girl! Dont be the homewrecker!!!
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Posted by Ayana Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:35pm PST
no thats wrong to go out with a married man i know u loved him and mabe still do but he has a wife and kids move on and find another man betta then him ok u dont need someone taken already
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Posted by Maria Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:58pm PST
I could never be the other woman, I love myself too much to go through that, I would say that you should have him prove to you that he loves you by doing things right for you and his baby and his wife, she deserves that respect no matter what. Also keep in mind that he will always be a part of her life for his child, Also you should think about how would you feel if you were in her shoes.
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Posted by Hawaiian Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:59pm PST
i was in the same situation as you are....you know what maybe he does love you, but he definately needs to get his crap straight and decide what it is he wants...don't let him have his cake and eat it too....let him decide on his own what it is that he wants, if he never loved his wife and doesnt now then he should have no problems getting a divorce....
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