Other forms of emotional “baggage” that keep people from having good relationships.

In many online group forums, there’s often a topic thread asking; why are you single? The responses make it pretty clear that many people regard being single as a curse, a form of punishment, or simply an unfavorable lifestyle. In my opinion, anyone who feels this way isn’t emotionally healthy enough or emotionally available for long-term intimacy because they’re carrying what’s commonly regarded as “baggage”.

The word “baggage” is rather vague and often poorly defined. It seems that most people simply regard baggage as hurt feelings, resentment, and even hate that stems from a past relationship. But in reality, it’s so much more than that, so I’ve listed a few examples of other forms of baggage that make it difficult for many people to engage in and remain in healthy relationships.

Hypersexuality. A hypersexual person is primarily motivated by lust in nearly ALL human interaction. Hypersexuality often the result of Traumatic Sexualization, which is being exposed to graphic sexuality at an early age before being physically, emotionally, and psychologically mature enough to understand and be responsible with their evolving sexuality and sexual content. Such graphic sexuality typically includes pornography, rape, and incest.

(Please Note!! Not all victims of Traumatic Sexualization become hypersexual. Many victims compartmentalize and suppress their sexuality, but that’s an article for another day.)

Hypersexuality is often rooted in low self-esteem and typically used to establish an artificial sense of self-worth, social acceptance, hyped-up popularity, and superficial attractiveness. A hypersexual adult is less likely to be faithful. They’re typically controlling and manipulative and often abusive. Their sexual history and lustful thirst has turned them into orgasm junkies. They do make great sex-partners, but that only pertains to the rigorous act of sex itself as they’re emotionally and spiritually incapable of Making Love. Hypersexuality is very damaging to adult relationships.

Loneliness. Loneliness is a painful feeling of emptiness that results from not being able to fulfill your waking and typically alone moments with meaningful activities that give you satisfaction and joy. A lonely person often behaves dependently on other people to help fill their inner emptiness. But because a lonely person is incapable of fulfilling and maintaining their inner wholeness themselves, when there’s nobody else around to fill that void for them, they return to a painful state of emptiness, and the dysfunctional cycle continues.

Loneliness cripples a person’s ability to make smart decisions. When a lonely person is seeking a partner, their loneliness clouds or even completely disables their ability to discern the difference between good and bad people, and their ability to discern their true compatibility with any potential partners. Loneliness cannot be cured by a partner. Loneliness can only be cured by putting forth a genuine effort to enhance one’s emotional healing, personal and spiritual growth, and evolution.

Unfortunately, lonely people endanger themselves by seeking a partner because social predators (typically Psychopaths, Sociopaths, and Narcissists) regularly target lonely people.

Immaturity. Immaturity is very damaging to an adult’s integrity, credibility, respectability, and accountability. Immature people are typically very self-centered and have great difficulty empathizing and sympathizing. They’re very undependable. Immature adults tend to lack the ability to understand or foresee consequence, or feel genuine guilt. Immature adults typically emotionally abuse their partners. It’s an understatement to say that immaturity is very toxic to adult relationships.

Stagnation. A stagnant person is someone who’s simply doing nothing productive with their life. Their personal and spiritual growth is at a complete standstill. They’re often completely unmotivated career wise. They have great difficulty making command decisions on important things. If a stagnant person cannot evolve and grow as an independent and productive individual, then what makes you think they’re capable of growing and evolving in an adult relationship?

Other common forms of baggage too look out for are personality disorders. My personal studies have shown the following to be most damaging to intimate relationships: Psychopathy, Sociopathy, Narcissism, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Passive/Covert-Aggressive Behavior, and Codependency. Granted, one cannot “diagnose” such disorders without the proper credentials, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot make informed opinions about people on your own. There are many really good books cheaply available on Amazon.com for each of these disorders!

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn