Plagiarism, love and shoes

I got an email from Customer Care today stating that they had addressed my concern. I was hoping that they took down the the plagiarized post, but turns out, that is not the case. At least not yet. So the user who claimed my work as her own still gets to do for the moment.

I suppose if I were a 21 year old girl without an original thought, I'd consider plagiarism...maybe. I was a 21 year old girl once and I did like to share my thoughts yet I wasn't very good at writing.  While I hoped to achieve eloquence, I only came out with train wrecks.

In wanting to be able to articulate my own thoughts in a readable fashion, I really had to study how my favorite writers wrote. I would pick apart their work to see how they might have put it together. It took a lot of effort on my part, but I honed the skill. I'm still not the best writer I could be, but I'm working on that.

I suppose that's what gets my goat more than anything else. Every themed post I make is has taken mountain-moving effort on my part. Even this little vent required thought, focus, tons of discipline, and refinement. It's not something that comes naturally to me.

So why wouldn't the user who plagiarized my post not value herself enough to give earnest writing on the same theme a good try? Is it youth? Is it laziness? What drives someone to such a thing?

Here's what I know about the girl: She's 21, a nurse and a single mother. The man she loved for 7 years pretty much dumped her and her baby via a wedding invitation- his wedding to someone else. She wishes the couple well and is set on raising her kid by herself. She is dating a married man who said he and his wife are no longer together. She is currently at a point in her life where she is asking questions about why love works the way it does.

Here are my inferences:

She doesn't think that she and her child deserve much. Why do I think that? Because she never once mentioned in her post how wrong it was for her baby's father to walk out on his obligations. There is no mention of what other women talk about in this situation- the betrayal of not only her, but of her child and the lack of financial support for not her, but the child. Instead, she wished the newlyweds well.

While she may think she is taking the high road here, she is fooling herself. I'm sorry to say it, Honey, but you must not think you or your daughter are worth the trouble. I hope you've marched yourself down to your local courthouse and filed for custody of your daughter and for child support. Even if your ex doesn't seem to want a kid now, he might want one later. The easiest way to make insta-family is plop your baby in the middle of the happy couple. Then you don't need to deal with pregnancy or birth or anything! It's like magic and it happens to moms all the time who don't protect their child's best interest. Dad just swoops up kid at his leisure.

She also is willing to accept a new man in her life who hasn't been honest with her from the get go. Personally, I've never met a separated man who didn't say "hey, I'm a separated man and plan on divorcing my wife". Only men who are hoping to return to their marriage or who never really left their marriage in the first place neglect to share the martial status in the first place.

The fact that something inside you makes you question whether or not to accept his reasons leads me to believe that something is way off. If it made sense to you and if it felt right, you would not have to blog about it. I'm sure somewhere deep down, you know being with this guy is a mistake, but you hang on because you feel like this is the best its going to get for you.

As for what questioning love makes me think about you, well... I think you lack in experience. You were with the same man for 7 years, most of those being teenage ones, so how much frame of reference could you possibly have?

Why does love hurt people? Because we lay ourselves out on the line to see if the person we are with is going to be a good mate for life. Dating is like shoe shopping. You are attracted to a pair of shoes, try them on and then take them home. Love is like wearing those shoes. At first they seem great, but after wearing them for a day or so, you realize they give you blisters. Sometimes, you keep trying to wear that pair of shoes, but they always hurt your feet. If you are smart, you ditch the shoes and keep looking for the pair that fits just right.

In finding the right "shoe", you have to ask yourself: What are my feet worth to me?

None of this is rocket science. It's all pretty normal stuff. I think you'd be a more interesting person and maybe even attract the right person in your life if you found your self-worth and stop pretending your someone your not... if not for your sake, than at least for sake of your child. That baby is going to mimic everything you do. How do you want your child to behave? How do you want your child to feel? What kinds of relationships will you teach your baby to have?