I have a friend who has been dating this guy that is younger than her for a little less than a year now. I know they love each other very much. I have actually seen him cry while telling me how much he loves her. Well he went away for the weekend with some friends and had a little bit to much to drink and started texting this girl that was there with the crowd. She was all over him from the beginning. So, she left him quite a few flirty type messaages on his myspace and his girlfriend and this other girl got into online. This girl claims that he denied having a girlfriend (to her) saying that he and his girlfriend were ONLY friends and that he sent her a text message at 2am asking her if she would wait up for him. Well she (the girlfriend) kinda of accepted the texts and the flirting on the night that he was drinking....she just kinda blew it off. Then the other girl actually talked to the girlfriend and told her that her boyfriend was the one that starting texting her, and that he asked her to go to a concert with him the following weekend and that he had talked to her on the phone on her entire trip back home which was about 3 hours.
When she confronted her boyfriend about all of this, he denied everything. (of course) And not once did he ever say that he DIDNT do any of it (not right away, more like 3 days later) He ignored his girlfriends texts and phonecalls until yesterday when he finally answered her. He was VERY mad and said that he couldnt believe that his girlfriend would believe someone who has a crush on him and would say anything to get him, over him . He told her that he didnt do anything wrong. He admitted to texting her a couple of times but only because he was drawinag a tattoo for her. He actually swore on his girlfriends life that he didnt do ANYTHING wrong. This girl cried everyday, she didnt eat for 4 days, and she couldnt sleep because she was so distraught. They decided to try and work things out, but she is still very uneasy about who to believe. Why would either of the two of them have reason to lie to her? She is so confused, and doesnt know what to do, or think, or feel, or believe. CAN ANYBODY OFFER THIS GIRL SOME HELP?
Please help!!!!
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 9:42am PDT
Report AbuseShe should cut her losses and run. Leopards don't change their spots.
If he is getting away with lying now... it will only get worse.
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 9:56am PDT
Report AbuseThere are always two sides to a story and it's hard to tell who may be telling the truth. He could be genuine when he says that there isn't going on on his part, the other girl could just have a crush on him and is hoping to cause a rift between the two of them OR she could be telling the truth and he could be telling porkies. The truth is this, she will never really know what happened all she can really do is trust him. There is no reason for her to dump him because there is no concrete evidence to support the fact that he has done anything wrong. If they do truly love each other than they need to trust one another too otherwise the relationship will fail. There will always be other people and you can't always worry about what your spouse is doing.
The truth of the matter is if there is trust there is a relationship. If not then end it because that insecurity will never go away.
Good luck to your friend :)
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 1:32pm PDT
Report AbuseI've heard every excuse in the book. How about getting ahold of that phone bill and see if there are any 3 hour long phone calls? If he has nothing to hide, well then he should be fine with showing it to her, right? He is getting mad at her and trying to turn the situation around on her. That's how they take the heat off them. Not taking his girlfriends phone calls and texts for a few days? That's cause he had nothing to say. He was busted until he could come up with a good excuse. Dump him. Trust me. He isn't worth it.
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Posted by Sat May 10, 2008 9:10am PDT
Report Abusei think this is something that only the two of them can work out. Either she trusts him or she doesn't. We've all indulged in flirtations while involved with someone... it's just a matter of drawing boundaries that both parties are comfortable with and then respecting 'em.
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Posted by Sat May 10, 2008 5:49pm PDT
Report AbuseHi. I am "the friend" that is being spoken about in the blog. I just want to say thank you for the comments and suggestions. Im just torn inbetween wanting to ring his neck for what I have heard and believing him. This is really hard. I do love him, no doubt, but I'm still having a MAJOR problem with the whole trust thing. He is actually gone to the beasch this weekend with a friend of his (male) and everytime he says he is going somewhere, I want to puke. I want to believe him...I really do and considering the fact that he swore on my life that he wasnt lying, I guess if I happen to NOT wake up tomorrow, everyone will know the truth. Any suggestions on how he can prove his innocense? If he is telling the truth, he will be willing to do anything to prove it, right?
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Posted by Sun May 11, 2008 5:03am PDT
Report AbuseI think you should get them both in one place. pull their card see if you can either get the truth .or at least feel the truth .and if you still can't tell then you have a few choices .1 get over it 2 or move on but if you can't put it behind you then your going to be miserable any way
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Posted by Sun May 11, 2008 3:04pm PDT
Report AbuseOMG i would say that he was wrong to be texting her and that she ( the g.f.) should show her boyfriend the text or w/e from the other chick
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Posted by Tue May 13, 2008 9:41am PDT
Report AbuseOK,this is what it really comes down to. Where is he now? Who is he talking to now. Yes there is two sides to every story and you will never know which to beleave. So, what do you want? You and he will be what you two and make it. She is just a passing by trial for your relationship. Who will win this round, because there will be more.
Think. Are you willing to give it all up on aa "Maybe".
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Posted by Tue May 13, 2008 1:42pm PDT
Report AbuseWOW, Stacey. You just made alot of sense! I guess I knew that all along. He is with ME!!! Not the "trial" as you called her. We are trying to work it out, we have talked alot!! He knows that I have trust issues though, and I will for awhile or unless he proves otherwise.
I guess I wasnt willing to give it up on a "maybe" I dont think I will take it so lightly next time though...if there IS a next time.
Thanks everyone!!!
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