Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"Last Night, I Told My Boyfriend That I Was a Lesbian Before Meeting Him. His Response?"

12-cute-girl_sm.jpg

12-cute-girl_sm.jpg

Last week, a reader told us that she had a great new boyfriend. But she had always dated girls before meeting him, and we encouraged her to tell him about her past. So, last night, she nervously poured out her heart and soul. What was his reaction??

Here's our sweet reader's story:

My new boyfriend Tim came over for dinner last night. I made this stuff called Skyline Chili, which is chili on spaghetti with cheese. I don't really get it, but Time loves it. I think you have to be from the Midwest or something.

We had a nice dinner, and then I asked him if we could talk. So we went to the couch. I totally followed your advice and told him I was nervous. He was so sweet. I asked him to just let me say everything I needed to and then he could say whatever he wanted. So I told him everything. I said it all, like everything I told you and all the details in between, too. It felt really good and also really scary. I tried to make it clear that I wasn't just curious or anything, that I really like him. And that I'm really attracted to him. I told him that all this is why I never really talk about my past relationships and my family. He stayed totally quiet and just listened to me.

See our tips: 10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked

After like an eternity of talking, I finally asked him what he was thinking. He has these light blue eyes and he just looks right into you. I was looking into them and I swear, I swear, this is exactly what he said: "As long as we're sharing, I'm in love with you."

Oh, my God, I started bawling. He just held me and said that he thinks he's loved me since the first time I sat next him in class. I know I love him, and I know I've never been this close to anyone in my life. And all these questions that I've been afraid of just don't seem to matter anymore, you know? Am I gay? I don't care. What will my friends think? I don't care. All this other stuff, I just don't care.

Seriously, thanks for your advice and for putting my question up on Smitten. It was a big deal for me to see that there were so many other women who had gone through this same thing. Actually I was shocked; it seemed like every other comment was like, "Yeah my best friend was just like this," or "This is my story." It really helped.

Oh....and, yeah, um, I lost my gold star. It was UNREAL!!!

YAHOO!!!! Aren't you so happy for this reader? I'm so glad that her boyfriend was so open and understanding about her past and feelings. Yay for open-mindedness and loving and accepting people--whether they're gay or straight or somewhere in the middle!

Photo: Garance Dore

Related: 101 Ways to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

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Comments 101-110 of 123
  • Amir's Avatar
    Posted by Amir Thu Jul 2, 2009 2:30pm PDT

    I'd like to read about love becaues love is evry thing in our lif

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  • Oyadiji's Avatar
    Posted by Oyadiji Fri Jul 3, 2009 5:36am PDT

    Good of you to have taken that bold step of revealing your past to Tim. I'm also using this opportunity to reach out to all spinsters and bachelors that wishes to build their marital lives on solid rock and having life long blissful relationship to emulate this step of telling their soulmates about their past at the beginning of their courtship affair.

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  • june's Avatar
    Posted by june Fri Jul 3, 2009 11:52am PDT

    i dont think that lesbianism is something you can turn on and off its not a light switch. If you know that you are a lesbian but you are having feelins for this guy and dont care what your friends think, follow your heart and go for it.

    I am not a lesbian but i am a freak and open to a lot of things when it comes to sexual experiences. There are times when people are confused and think about women when theyre fantazising but when it comes to ann actual relationship they cant see themselves with a woman. You, you got it all. You like women and you like men or at least this man and as long as you do its a good thing right?

    everything happens for a reason and you cannot control who and when you fall in love. Live it up and enjoy yourself stop worrying about what people are going to say or think about you. As long as you are being true to you, youll be okay.

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  • Iffy's Avatar
    Posted by Iffy Fri Jul 3, 2009 8:13pm PDT

    Aww, that's such a good story. Glad that things turned out the best for you. Best of luck in your future love life.

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  • Jet K's Avatar
    Posted by Jet K Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:25am PDT

    Sounds like you arent a lesbian you are bi...

    its OK no worries, I have alot of lesbian girlfriends, and many of them dropped the girl and went for a guy... some even had a baby with a guy...

    forget the labels just be with whoever makes you happy

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  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:17pm PDT

    best wishes to you and you man,

    Report Abuse
  • Thierno Abdoulaye's Avatar
    Posted by Thierno Abdoulaye Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:36pm PDT

    I Love you

    Report Abuse
  • Thierno Abdoulaye's Avatar
    Posted by Thierno Abdoulaye Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:37pm PDT

    I need you

    Report Abuse
  • Thierno Abdoulaye's Avatar
    Posted by Thierno Abdoulaye Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:42pm PDT

    Tu sais ce quoi je comprend votre langue tré bien.

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