Love + Sex

Friday, December 4, 2009

"Last Night, I Told My Boyfriend That I Was a Lesbian Before Meeting Him. His Response?"

12-cute-girl_sm.jpg

12-cute-girl_sm.jpg

Last week, a reader told us that she had a great new boyfriend. But she had always dated girls before meeting him, and we encouraged her to tell him about her past. So, last night, she nervously poured out her heart and soul. What was his reaction??

Here's our sweet reader's story:

My new boyfriend Tim came over for dinner last night. I made this stuff called Skyline Chili, which is chili on spaghetti with cheese. I don't really get it, but Time loves it. I think you have to be from the Midwest or something.

We had a nice dinner, and then I asked him if we could talk. So we went to the couch. I totally followed your advice and told him I was nervous. He was so sweet. I asked him to just let me say everything I needed to and then he could say whatever he wanted. So I told him everything. I said it all, like everything I told you and all the details in between, too. It felt really good and also really scary. I tried to make it clear that I wasn't just curious or anything, that I really like him. And that I'm really attracted to him. I told him that all this is why I never really talk about my past relationships and my family. He stayed totally quiet and just listened to me.

See our tips: 10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked

After like an eternity of talking, I finally asked him what he was thinking. He has these light blue eyes and he just looks right into you. I was looking into them and I swear, I swear, this is exactly what he said: "As long as we're sharing, I'm in love with you."

Oh, my God, I started bawling. He just held me and said that he thinks he's loved me since the first time I sat next him in class. I know I love him, and I know I've never been this close to anyone in my life. And all these questions that I've been afraid of just don't seem to matter anymore, you know? Am I gay? I don't care. What will my friends think? I don't care. All this other stuff, I just don't care.

Seriously, thanks for your advice and for putting my question up on Smitten. It was a big deal for me to see that there were so many other women who had gone through this same thing. Actually I was shocked; it seemed like every other comment was like, "Yeah my best friend was just like this," or "This is my story." It really helped.

Oh....and, yeah, um, I lost my gold star. It was UNREAL!!!

YAHOO!!!! Aren't you so happy for this reader? I'm so glad that her boyfriend was so open and understanding about her past and feelings. Yay for open-mindedness and loving and accepting people--whether they're gay or straight or somewhere in the middle!

Photo: Garance Dore

Related: 101 Ways to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

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Comments 11-20 of 109
  • Vonda's Avatar
    Posted by Vonda Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:02pm PDT

    I think you to will be fine seems like you have a great guy.I wish I could tell my boo the truth also

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  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:31pm PDT

    I hope that you and Tim have a long and happy life together. It seems you have found what your heart has been truly searching for. Don't let him get away--guys like this only come along once in a lifetime!! Best of luck!

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:10pm PDT

    YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so happy for you. Tim you are an AWSOME guy

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  • Goddess's Avatar
    Posted by Goddess Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:31pm PDT

    Bianca Avalon, A gold Star lesbian is a lesbian who has never been witha man, if you catch my meaning.

    On a side not, I'm glad things worked out for her! Seems she was bisexual rather than lesbian.

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  • ElizabethO's Avatar
    Posted by ElizabethO Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:25pm PDT

    I myself have suffered from a very similar problem... I think it is brilliant that everything worked out and that you found someone understanding.

    On a side note: Skyline Chili IS a Midwest thing. Its a restaurant here that serves chili dogs (Coneys), spaghetti with chili and cheese on top (sometimes with onions) and various other things. Its a classic in the Midwest: http://www.skylinechili.com/ HELL YEAH!

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  • whack's Avatar
    Posted by whack Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:30pm PDT

    Note to Ladies - Tims are the best ;)

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:47pm PDT

    Yah!! Congrats.I'm glad she had such a happy beginning for her. Its the perfect beginning and not ending. He is such an understanding guy and there are so few out there nowadays.

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  • Doktor Eevol's Avatar
    Posted by Doktor Eevol Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:20pm PDT

    Oh god, what a glurge story.

    Seriously - what guy *wouldn't* like a hot, lipstick phallic-virgin lesbian to admit to him he's the one who converted her? This is almost EVERY guy's dream come true. And what woman *doesn't* know already how fixated most men are on girl on girl action? Please. Can we get a reality check here?

    So yeah, how about blogging about overcoming a REAL challenge in a relationship? You know, the uncomfortable kind where a straight woman's been with a lot of guys (responsibly, of course), or the woman who struggled with homelessness, drug addiction, alcoholism? Or the woman who gave up a child for adoption? Yeah, THOSE issues. Now, a guy who can accept any of those would really impress me.

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  • j2's Avatar
    Posted by j2 Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:49pm PDT

    OK Dr Eevol & you know this how? lol

    Actually, I think you're pretty close to the mark. This is much easier for a guy to take than losing a wife to another woman like happened to a guy I met.

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  • Cat  ^..^'s Avatar
    Posted by Cat ^..^ Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:52pm PDT

    It will be nice when we reach a point where we don't have to label ourselves "straight," "gay", "bisexual," "transgender," etc, etc.

    You love who you love, and more power to you if you can mutually share your life and loving intimacy with them.

    She should never have had to feel it necessary to "reveal" she dated women, as if it were something that might scare him off. You know, I hear all the time from homophobes how the GLBT community shouldn't "put their relationships in our face." Excuse me? Not only do they put THEIR "straight" relationships in our face, but as this girl's plight demonstrates, society demands that we put ourselves on parade or we're accused of somehow being dishonest or subversive.

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Comments 11-20 of 109

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