Reader's Dilemma: "My Boyfriend and I Are Having Sex This Weekend, But I Don’t Know How. Help!"

From the Community…

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  Posted by sunflower08 Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:19pm PDT

  Please do not think you are going to mess up such an important piece of yourself. Sex should be beautiful and a magical moment, but do not let yourself get in the way of enjoying this moment.

  I remember when I lost my virginity I was 18 and had thought I would be horrible at it, but you know what it was fun learning how to get better. Change your way of thinking, and look forward to learning and practicing. Remember: Practice makes perfect!!!

  Be safe and use protection, be in the moment, and relax!!!!! Have a fun weekend.

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  Posted by DeadlyPoison Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:47pm PDT

  you're not gonna be good the first time, heck sex isn't enjoyable the first time. it's the fifth time that counts.

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  Posted by Margarita Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:29pm PDT

  I advise you to look at some kamasutra websites or porn site so that you get an idea of the love making process :-))

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  Posted by Oana D Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:46pm PDT

  Hey. I've read your story and I can't help answering.

  My first time was at 19 years old ( some moths ago), after nine moths with my boyfriend. I was really scared at first but I wanted him very much and most importantly I trusted him. It hurt the first night, but he was there for me and we stopped and kissed and spent the night loving each other. The second time was better. It was great actually. It was like all the time before that I was waiting for that fulfillment, and them I felt complete. He had the same feeling and after that we loved each other more every day. It's like he's mine and I'm his.

  For me, it was the right time, the right day, the right boy. If you’re 100% sure it’s same for you, them maybe it’s time. But I dare say, it would be nicer in a place when no one can interrupt you, a place just as you want to. And if it won’t happen now, love him in other ways. Anyway, have fun!

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  Posted by Meghan Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:19pm PDT

  I waited 3 years before having sex with my first long term bf. i will say that it did hurt, however if you love a person enough then you wont feel the pain. Making Love is what is important. "Sex" is intercourse with another of the other gender. "making love" is magical and life lifting, it is as well life changing. its another chapter in the book. dont feel like you have to sleep with your bf to really and truley love him however if your are ready then i wish you the best of luck and i have some tips i found helpful my first time:

  1. Porn... not the nasty get down and dirty but some simple man on top stuff.

  2. Have more then one condom with you.

  3. wear socks... (cute socks)if your feet are cold then so is the rest of your body.

  4. Saying "I love you" helping in a weird sycological way.

  5. dont experiment right away.

  6. enjoy yourself, if you dont enjoy yourself your not going to like it.

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  Posted by Marnie Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:40pm PDT

  first of all, how old are you? i hope you are not a teenager (16,17,etc). if so, why are you in such a hurry? my daughter is 21 yrs old and i'm very proud of her because she is still a virgin. this is her choice. your first time has to be special and it won't be easy.it's going to be awkward unless your boyfriend knows what to do. please,if you are a teenager,think twice,three times or more before doing it. because,obviously,there is no going back. take care and be careful...

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  Posted by Beach Raccoon Fri Sep 18, 2009 5:17pm PDT

  Aww, what a cute story... But like Marnie said, how old is this person we're talking about? I'm 20 and have yet to loose my virginity, and I find that now that I'm older I'm REALLY glad to have waited because I know myself more and have an idea of what I like and don't like... If this girl is in her teens, I'd really wish she would wait just a bit longer so she can know a bit more about herself... But if she feels ready, then we can't really stop her.

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  Posted by snow bunny Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:34pm PDT

  You've gotten some pretty good advice here. I'd like to add that you need to try and relax, it really is a beautiful, natural thing that people have been doing since the beginning of time. Since this is your first time, a little lubricant, like KY Jelly, might be a good thing to have. You'll do just fine & remember, he's going to be nervous, too. He may not show it on the outside.

  Best of luck & enjoy! Snow***

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  Posted by Khan Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:49pm PDT

  hey dear

  u know girls have virginity if she loose that b4 marrie i think is not good.keep that every thing for ur husband.if ur boy friend love u alot lets him to get marrie with u then is ok.

  i can say that GOD help you.

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  Posted by Josiah Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:04pm PDT

  There is a lot to consider when loosing your virginity, I think that you should think this over about 10 times or so before it happens. This decision will change your life and can change the way you think, as well as your partners(if it is there first time too). Also be prepared for some pain after the first time, my fiance said that it hurt for a few days after we had made love for the first time. Make sure to do some foreplay and/or bring some personal lubricant. There is a lot to consider here for any one in your situation. But the most important thing to do is relax and have a good time.

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