Is it true that my love life has finally ended? I don't believe that Real Love Stories have endings... but as I have been obviously dumped my "man" because of the toilet seat issue (wednesday's blog) I haven't heard from him since, so I started thinking..
There are three types of Black Love...
1. Your College Sweetheart- This is the guy that the whole campus knows you are dating and they actually want you all to make it. The truth is as a woman you think Graduation will also be your proposal date, and when it doesn't happen, you and your 4 year relationship goes south. I dated this "guy" for 6 years (add two years because I went to grad school and earned my Masters Degree) I could have sworn on a stack of bibles, and betted my life savings (which at the time was about $3000) that he was going to marry me, after all the cheating/lies/fun times/family reunions/springbreaks-christmas breaks/and sex we had~ BUT NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo I got a ring allright on graduation one birthstone ring with earrings to match, and a diamond ring "just because". No engagement. So I went to grad school moving in with this "Guy" my first love only to graduate with my MPA< and had cheated on me sooo bad (or as he says " I wasn't fun anymore we are growing apart") I had to get rid of him to finish my comprehensive exam. So This guy turns into the on again off again because as a woman he took all of my 20 damn near, and watch my breast grow from a bubbly B cup to DD Brown Bombs... So he knew me, and I wanted him, no one else~~ Well he did the noble thing signed up for the military to "take care of us" and ended up smelling hisself, and playing house with a GATE KEEPING w---- who already has a 3 year old. Now my ex and her are pregnant with his first child~ CONGRATS~
2. The Man over 30- This guy is supposed to be "mature" because in your mind he is over 30, he has been there, done that, and you would think he was ready to get down the aisle. At the time I was 27, and just finished that "College Sweetheart"relationship. So this was partly rebound partly lust. Buttttt because he was over 30, I gave it the old college try, and tried to make this work. He wined- and dined me, took on the over protective man role, when I was driving late at night, wanted to make sure I got there okay blah blah blah, AND HE HAD HIS OWN HOME! Okay so everyone thinks jackpot right, and let me just add this ( he has a child- and at the time kept the whole BM* drama undercontrol) Soooo this man wants me to move in. (I lived out of town at the time) I didn't do it because I can't shack up, So he talks about marriage, more kids etc... and he was the best I ever had* okay back to the point....This man is what you call a Mama's Boy, and this is why I realized why he wasn't married. He was complacent with being "The Bachelor" but said and did everything he thought you wanted to real him in. He is 36 now, and still hasn't gotten the finances together... GUESSS WHAT I FOUND OUT.... MOMME WAS STILL PAYING THE HOUSE MORTGAGE and Cash and Go* was his other woman. SOooo this gigilo was wining and dining me, with loaned money, he has a great job where in the F*&^ was his income going, and if he hasn't paid a house note ever where was his since of responsibility and stability....... after investigating I found out his extra pennines were going to the BM~ to keep her quiet, and he was trying to date me, and impress me with bad debt~ After 10months and him cheating on me with a blast from the past... It was OV!~ But for some reason, I still would let him take me out- he was good arm candy and I wasn't serious about anybody until........
3. The divorced/kids great work ethic man- THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE 1. He has been there, done that and got a T-shirt. Great Work ethic, and loves the family life. In fact he wants to continue to be married, but since he is divorced he is looking for the next MRS. We met by chance (yay) but after juggling all his kids/ex wives/bm~ he is the burn out man. This man is "doing the most" so if he finally takes you out A. He is tired. B. He can only stay a couple of hours, cause he has to get back to the kids. C. Empty promises of a future with you, because he is trying to rush to place you in the middle of his chaotic life. (WELL THIS IS THE IDIOT I WAS WITH THAT HAS GOTTEN PISSED ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT- AND HASN'T CALLED ME SINCE THURSDAY) so I guess that's over.
What I learned is 1. If I had dated outside my race, I may be married with a family by now (okay maybe)
2. Black Love is the toughest love because of the complications of certain "mens" childhoods and the expetations of them as providers, lovers, husbands, dads placed on them by "us women" /family and society. 3. These "men" wern't the ones for me, and since I am such a rare, hot, commodity -single, no kids, well educated, beautiful, and oh so jazzy~ My love story will not have an ending until I am no longer....
4-ever Jazzy...
Ms. Crys
