Love + Sex

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  Posted by anonymous Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:41am PDT

  I have not tried this, but it sounds like it would be really hard. I can only imagine that once you've gone that far with someone you love, and you've seen all that can be seen, how one could pretend it didn't happen? Maybe it's not even the same once you haven't been abstinent, at least in the Lord's eyes.

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  Posted by confused Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:45am PDT

  That is just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Were you Christian when you started having sex?? Why is your religion suddenly important now? I think you need to figure out what it is exactly that you're looking to gain by abstaining. Is it to gain a focus on your faith? Or on each other?

  You "Christians" just crack me up. I must have missed the passage in the Bible where it says to have sex with someone as soon as you start dating, but to stop as soon as you consider marriage. Really, who is telling you to do this?? If you are enjoying each other's company and having fulfilling sex, and see a future together, why would it be meaningful to stop having sex? Only stop if it is meaningful to YOU. In the meantime, make sure you're using protection. I'm CERTAIN that the Bible does not look favorably upon children born out of wedlock...

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  Posted by rglo820 Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:53am PDT

  Um...I once gave up sex for Lent in an effort to get someone to break up with me, but that's not really the same thing.

  Honestly, I just don't understand the reasoning here. If you didn't see yourselves getting married, then would you continue having sex? And why is it important that you stop being sexually active now when you've already been sleeping together for six months? I really don't want to nitpick anyone's religious convictions, but this kind of seems like a situation where you're trying to have it both ways...

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  Posted by Rita Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:54am PDT

  I have to agree with confused. Not to mention you've only been dating 6 months, have you BOTH discussed marriage already or is it just something you like to fantasize about. If you're TRULY considering marriage then it's really your choice (though I wouldn't choose to go that route) but if it's not something you two are both certain about then what are you to gain from not having sex?

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  Posted by Suzanne Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:54am PDT

  Dear confused,

  We were not practicing Christians until recently. I wasn't a Christian AT ALL until recently. We are hoping that by doing this, we'll strengthen our (possibly) future marriage. And yes, we use protection, but of course that small risk of getting pregnant does concern us.

  We haven't made this decision yet because we don't want to just jump into a vow of abstainance if we're not ready and we're just going to break it. This is a big decision.

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  Posted by sexymardy Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:02pm PDT

  me and my boyfreind been together for a year and 3months and i think it's time for us to take it to the next level i mean i have seen things and done them too so there is nonthing us out there for me to do so owant to get married but i don't think he wants to

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  Posted by cchamade Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:03pm PDT

  I wish you the best in following thru. Youve hada trial run and now it will make it much more exciting to wait to do it again until your wedding night.

  PAX

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  Posted by fools_and_sages Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:09pm PDT

  LoL. . .Confused hit the nail on the head. . .to a degree. If I were completely irreverent, I would agree with Confused completely. However, I'm not.

  The "Christians" example is demonstrates this: If you want to have sex, make sure you know what it means to every aspect of your life first. They find themselves in a predicament where they have begun to consider what premarital sex means to their spirituality-- and they should have thought about this before they did it. Unfortunately, the sex can't be taken back and it can't suddenly stop without major ramifications for the relationship.

  I would ask the "Christians" if they are living together. If not, they might be able to stop the sex. If they are, no way. Seeing one another everyday in intimate non-sexual situations makes it impossible to back off on the sex. Even if they are not living together, they would have to go as far as to stop spending time at one another's homes and to stop spending nights together. They would have to eliminate the opportunities (i.e. the privacy) to have sex. It's a question of how much of the rest of their familiarity and intimacy they are willing to give up just to give up sex.

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  Posted by neeters Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:26pm PDT

  O.K..... NOW PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IF, YOU ARE SO CHRISTIAN ,WHY YOU EVER HAD SEX TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!!! CHRISTIANITY HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING SEXUAL ,BEING SEXUAL HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH BEING HUMAN.YOU ARE HUMAN ,CORRECT?    ABSTINENCE WILL ONLY FRUSTRATE YOU BOTH AND THAT CAN CREATE SOME REAL PROBLEMS.........

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  Posted by esmeralda martinez Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:28pm PDT

  everyone's opinion confused me. i dont know what to say of the matter because i am 26 and i just recently started to get to know someone, i did not want to have sex because i am trying to build some self respect and quit my old ways... and better my life.. and my faith... i don't want to have another baby out of marriage but once i told this guy no it was like he keeped on then i noticed all he wanted was sex... so i told him to back off that i didnt need perverts in mine or my daughters life... Then once i told him that he got mad and hung up on me.... HE use to ell me i wasn't his girl friend , yet he wanted me to come over and have sex, that is retarded. I need advice,lol... i freaked because he told my daughter during a martial arts classs that he liked her more then me.... right away that made a red flag for me and i got scared... so i told that it freaked me out and the advice my friends gave me , he told me my friends are STUPID, he said it twice. then hung upon me after i told him to back off.... but before that he told me he wanted someone to be with yet treated me like a whore..... wtf is up with that ??? i even got to the point where i asked him whats wrong with me, thinking it was me.... now im stuck thinking about it but happy he is gone at the same time. we only knew each other for 3 months , 2 weeks, intimate 3 times. one of the times i started talking about a guy being cute i mean he told me i wasn't his girl like every time he called.... then he hung upon me,lol and that was that.... what do i do...my guy friend told me forget about it and my mom and brother not even my daughter liked him... my friend told me he was trying to get in good with my daughter to get to me and that freaked me out, i never talked to his son or anything, last martial arts class i noticed his son was making mad faces at me. i was like that weird. i dont smile at him or really look at him, but i am also not rude i respect. i happened to look towards his dad way and he had a mad face. i was why is he mad???? OH WELL....... WHY DO I CARE??? they where in line to do some kicks when...... i thought i heard his son say dad shes looking at me. he is like who cares turn around. I wasn't looking at either of them i was trying to look around them.... i feel weirded out about the hole thing. i even feel weird about writing this. because people i know have no life and read things on here all day... no offence do those who do... and i dont like people knowing my business especially if they run and tell him because they have no life.

  My name is emeralda martines, please write back.

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