Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sex and the Plus Something Senior

At 53 years old I find myself suddenly single. My husband passed several years ago and I am just starting to date other men. Clearly I am concerned about the physicality of it all given that I am no spring chicken. What should I expect now that I am a plus something sexual senior?

SingleEdition.com's Sex & Intimacy Expert Cathy Beaton's Answer:

Your decision to date sounds like a great way to start the new year.  However, your 'concern about the physicality of it all'  concerns me because any kind of chronic worry can interfere with enjoyment, pleasure and later, sexual performance. Try to refocus your attention from, thoughts of doubt to the idea that this is an opportunity to get out there, involve yourself in interesting activities and meet new men. Try to not get into the unrealistic expectations game of comparing yourself (sexually or image-wise) to what you hear and see in the media, or even to the woman next door.

It's great that you are 53- you must know your strengths, likes and dislikes and passions-trust yourself and be yourself. If you accept and appreciate your body (even some physical limitations you may have) so will the men you date. 

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Comments 1-5 of 5
  • Cheryl L.'s Avatar
    Posted by Cheryl L. Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:10pm PDT

    I almost past on your question, because I wasn't sure what to say. But I am 43 and will soon be single again myself. However, already I'm thinking back to when I was dating and how things were then and things I did wrong.

    All I want to say is that basically nothing has changed since you last dated, no matter how long ago it was. Your going to find men with just one thing on their mind. and if that's not what your interested, then slow them down, and force them to wait. If they're willing to wait, good. If not, you won't hear from them again, and good riddens. You'll find cheaters, alchoholics, sccammers and yes even the nice guys are out there too. Some are looking for a long term relationship and others are not. Just keep your wits about you and you'll be okay.

    But in the sex department, there is always new things to learn. Find yourself a book in a book store and read up. Every guy and girl is different. Some are selfish, others are giving, and some what the woman to be the initiator and some don't. We can always use some growing, but Just be yourself ! !

    Perhaps this would be a great time to start a gym membership, or try some yoga or pilates. It'll really help your self esteem and body image. And from your photo, it doesn't look like you'll need much. Good Luck.

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  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:33pm PDT

    Find mature men who aren't interested in chasing after the younger gals still. I think a mature man is going to expect to still be very sexually active with you, but I don't think he's going to insist that it happens on the first few dates either. OR, you can pull the cougar card and chase after the young men if that appeals to you ;-)

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  • MinnieR's Avatar
    Posted by MinnieR Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:43pm PDT

    I'm 57 my husband pass away almost 5years now I believe that we are only

    as old as we feel.just don't fool you self live for today have fun play

    with your makeup your hair get a new dress frist think of your self and

    what you want and what makes you happy don't cut your self short I was

    lucky I loved my honey for 32 years than and still do always will untill I can met up with him again.and God has been good to me.I have a very nice man by my side I love him and so dose he.Believe In God you can make take the frist step the next one well be ease hhr_lady0805@att.net write me.

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  • Donnie's Avatar
    Posted by Donnie Wed Jul 1, 2009 3:33am PDT

    Hi you will have no troubles sex is better the older you get. i am 65 and really been single for 15 yrs and really have fun with ladies my age or younger they know what they want so go out and enjoy life since it is so short and very sweet have a nice day a dyou should kno what you like in the age limit when come to mans sent me your email and we can talk by sweety

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  • Donnie's Avatar
    Posted by Donnie Wed Jul 1, 2009 3:36am PDT

    Hi you will have no troubles sex is better the older you get. i am 65 and really been single for 15 yrs and really have fun with ladies my age or younger they know what they want so go out and enjoy life since it is so short and very sweet have a nice day a dyou should kno what you like in the age limit when come to mans sent me your email and we can talk bye sweety for love spring chicken like you to enjoy and date so sweet and young

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