Love + Sex
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sex tips, from the year 1894
editor
Imagine a time when sex was
seen as "at best revolting and at worst rather painful."
According to
The
Sun (and well, anyone who's ever taken rudimentary
history lessons), the Victorians, not exactly known for their
raunchy bedroom antics, perceived a woman's um, "wifely
duties" as something to abhor.
Sex Tips for Husbands and
Wives was penned by Ruth Smythers, a vicar's wife, in
1894. Some amazing gems:
- The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual
experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every
effort to reduce this frequency.
- A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his
wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give
little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what
could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual
lust.
- A wise wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to
see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his
unclothed body to her.
- Once in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make
no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this
as a sign of encouragement.
- When he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily
motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic
husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only
in total darkness.
- Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods
of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband.
Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if
used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would
normally commence his seduction.
- By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete
their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of
terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.
Compare that to the lessons offered by Holly Hollenbeck, author of
the 2008 book,
Sex Lives of Wives:
- Exude tremendous enthusiasm for sex and have it as often as
possible. Try never to say no and do not start thinking or talking
about other chores or problems during it.
- Create variety — make love as a “lady” then next time, play it
nasty as a “tramp”. Alternate the pace — sometimes fast and
frantic, sometimes slow and romantic, using different sound
effects, including sexy compliments breathlessly uttered,
pleasurable moans and sighs and nasty encouragements.
- Be assertive about what you want, taking care that any ideas do
not come across as criticism. Try incorporating what you would like
him to do by working the suggestions into the details of a story.
Describe how hot such action would make you or your character in
the story feel.
- Tune in to what he loves and share it with him — if he likes
watching sexy movies, suggest watching one together. Visit a
bookshop and choose some erotic stories you can read to each other,
surf the web with him and share “chats”.
- Venture outside the bedroom and seek unusual locations for sex.
Have a mental fixation on the sensation — focus only on his and
your pleasure.
- Know what turns you on — your desire will heighten his. Good
things for women to try include having an ear sucked, a foot rub,
leaning on a vibrating washing machine during the spin cycle and
feeling the spray of a pulsating showerhead.
Damn, looks like you really have come a long way baby.
Related: victorian sex, sex tips, sex advice, self-help
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Posted by Rae Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:10pm PST
hehe, I think the best thing to do, is what makes both of you feel good.
These are hillarious, one is sadomasochistic, and the other is totally submissive.
If you compare this with how other things have changed over time you would be suprised. Could you imagine if we re-introduced this puritan thinking back into the mormon/christian/super-religeous communities and women followed it? There would be A WHOLE LOT of miserable men!-Rachel.
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Posted by Steph Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:29pm PST
How about some sex tips for men? Ugh.
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Posted by donald Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:13pm PST
no more talking about turning the clocks back belloved after all; that kind of teaching also made women feel ashamed for liking sex so women would be as miseriable as the men. lol
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Posted by AlexandraK Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:27pm PST
Of course on the flip side,there was some very erotic literature written during the Victorian era. Obviously,not everyone felt like the writer above ;)
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Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:40pm PST
Boy am I glad I didn't live back in the 1800's. Talk about boring!!! And it's a shame that women were taught to hate sex, that it was somehow dirty. And the irony of this is that God created sex for procreation and for pleasure. So why is it that these "religeous" people back in those days think otherwise???? It's a shame really.
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Posted by MontC Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:09pm PST
pretty sure this is a satire. it's in the humor section of amazon and snopes has a bit more on it http://www.snopes.com/weddings/newlywed/advice.asp
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Posted by Mom3 Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:29pm PST
He he..your wife read that book! Made me giggle!
Honestly, I really did not enjoy sex completely until
I got into my 30's.
Women married so young back in the 1800's and died earlier also than we do now. I really don't know how a 14-15 year old could really understand or enjoy sex anyways, back then...no one ever talked about it!!!
I hate to generalize, but really, how many teens and young women know their body and know how to express what they need....I only had sex to feel wanted, and close to a guy, to feel special. After I turned 30, I KNEW what I wanted, was comfortable with my body, and comfortable asking for my needs to be met. think it is one of the only good thing about getting older, as a woman, IMHO
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Posted by TaraM Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:54pm PST
Wow no wonder Victorian women were so uptight! I think having sex is part of living a healthy life.
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