Love + Sex

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  Posted by springtime Tue Jul 8, 2008 7:17pm PDT

  You've done nothing wrong. But he is disappointed in himself and cannot admit it.. and doesn't want to be faced with it. The problem is, he has no one to blame for all of this, so he is chooses you. He knows it's not your fault he lost his job or had an injury, but he needs to vent his frustration somewhere and to someone.... and the only person is you. You are the target. He knows you love him dearly. Now, be quiet about that love. Go about your every day life as best as you can without making any noise. He needs to hear your silence now. That's exactly what he needs to hear. He needs to hear what life is like without your support.

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  Posted by ESFEM81 Tue Jul 8, 2008 10:06pm PDT

  I AM JUST RECENTLY SEPARATED FROM MY HUSBAND OF 16 YEARS AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ANY RELATIONSHIP IS COMMUNICATION. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED COUNSELING? IF HE WONT GO THEN YOU SHOULD. IT WILL HELP YOU BOTH IN THE LONG RUN. MY HUSBAND AND I JUST GREW APART. WE WERE TOGETHER SINCE I WAS 17 AND JUST GREW TO BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT GOALS IN LIFE. WE ARE STILL ABLE TO TALK BUT IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOU. THE FIRST 5 YEARS ARE THE HARDEST AND ESPECIALLY IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES YOU ARE FACING. HE PROBABLY FEELS INADEQUATE AS A MAN AND A PROVIDER.

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  Posted by xokellylovessf Wed Jul 9, 2008 6:10am PDT

  thank you so much for both your comments they really do help...hes a good guy, he would never cheat and he still cares about me and takes care of me...he just doesnt wanna go out doesnt wanna talk and doesnt wanna have anything to do with me.

  counceling is a good idea i have been thinking about it.

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  Posted by elle Wed Jul 9, 2008 8:18am PDT

  Wow, if this is what you want - even after you've realized this is who he really is... I guess your in for an even more miserable exit - when he walks out.

  When you love someone, like you say you love him, it shouldn't hurt so much. Love does not feel like what your feeling. Sure no relationship is without it's problem but he seems to have simply grown apart from you. At whatever point, whatever argument, whatever day, time, hour, minute... doesn't matter. You need to stop focusing on what you had and move on.

  Stop fighting to work on something that's no longer there.

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  Posted by xokellylovessf Wed Jul 9, 2008 4:03pm PDT

  i feel like i should move out....no matter how hard im trying for this it does not get any better. but im gunna be miserable im not even in the mood to see friends i just wanna be alone...ill never be able to stop thinking about him. todays been a really bad day, ive been sitting here crying my eyes out for 2 hours straight

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  Posted by sheeda Wed Jul 9, 2008 5:21pm PDT

  let him go i just got out of a marraige the same way and it sounds familiar it's the religion he can leave if he wants do you practice what he believes in if you don't you won't understand him i still feel the same way about my ex husband the way you feel about yours now but he acted the same way so i had to love me first and just let go don't live like that you should leave there are no papers holding you there you would just be miserable believe me i have been where you are still trying too get over him but im alright if he wants to leave let him but don't let him save no momney up so he can leave you been there done that too just leave his butt or are you gonna watch him leave you.

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  Posted by xokellylovessf Wed Jul 9, 2008 7:49pm PDT

  its just to hard, how do you leave someone your absolutly in love with? im in love with the old him more though....how can i leave tho when there is still that possibility of fixing things ?

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  Posted by sheeda Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:48pm PDT

  are you fixing things by yourself or is he willing to fix them also hello it takes two not you love yourself first if he wants to fix the marraige then ok do it but if he doesn't you figure it out it will come to you but im here for you whatever you decide

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  Posted by xokellylovessf Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:16pm PDT

  i dont know what to do...im about to lose it though...i cant even get through my normal day without crying anymore, hes all i can think about and hes not working right now and it really pisses me off cause i go to work all day and he gos to the beach everyday then refuses to go with me on weekends....im becoming a complete mess here though and i feel like nothing is working but i just cant let it go i feel like i need a vacation away from everything but id be miserable with him....im miserable with him and without him...how much sense does that make...

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  Posted by Krazy Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:24am PDT

  I will say this ma'am...

  I dont know from experience, but I can only try to share some of the knowledge and wisdom that I have at my young age. I really dont know the FULL extent of the relationship that you have with your spouse, but I can say that if you two are in two different religions then there will be problems. I can honestly just say pray and fast about the situation. Some things only happen through prayer and fasting. Begin to read your Bible and ask God what is it He wants you to about the situation. Also, believe that through God ANYTHING is possible. I will be praying for you ma'am and I really hope it works out!

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