Love + Sex
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Should Women Be Required to Take Their Husband's Last Name When They Get Married?
partner
When Alex and I get married
in two weeks, I'm going to
keep my last name. But apparently 50% of Americans say
that it should be a
legal requirement for a woman to take
her spouse's last name!
My jaw dropped when I heard this...
A whopping 70% of the respondents in a
new study feel that women should take their
husbands' last name, and 50% say that it should be a legal
requirement for a woman to take her spouse's last name. The
Center for Survey Research at Indiana University presented these
surprising findings this week, reports USA Today and the
Daily News.
See our tips:
Secrets of Happy Couples (in 100 Words or Less)
Why did these people feel this way? "They said that women
should lose their own identity when they marry and become a part of
the man and his family," said
Laura Hamilton, a Indiana University associate
professor and the author of the study. Other people said women
should change their names because of religious reasons, or
"they said the mailman would get confused" if women
didn't change their names, says Hamilton.
What the what???
What do you guys think? Should women change their names
when they get married? Should they be legally required to do so?
Would you want to change your name when you get married?
I'd love to hear your thoughts...
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Related: women, relationships, names, marriage
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Posted by Rachel S Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:06am PDT
I think its a personal choice in all honesty. Yes, I think its only right to be married and share the same last name because that is why your getting married in first place. To join two lives into one. At the same time, what if his last name was like "snotbugar" I mean I can personally understand at that POINT if she wanted to keep her last name =)
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Posted by another hockey fan Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:06am PDT
"They said that women should lose their own identity when they marry and become a part of the man and his family" Yeah, okay, and in addition they should forget who they were/are and start existing ONLY for him, his family and all their wants/needs. What a crock of BS!! Seriously, changing your name does NOT impact how you feel or think about your husband so why they hell should it be required. The mailman gets confused, like he/she knows any different or cares for that matter. How they did that get in there.
Frankly, because this is my second marriage (and I've been single for over 10 years with mortgages, credit cards, etc) to change my last name is a pain in the butt and guess what, my hubby doesn't care and neither does anyone else who knows.
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Posted by NiCoL3 Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:12am PDT
I am getting married in 4 weeks and i have decided to take on my fiance's last name, but definitely not by force, we talked about it, ya know if it sounds right or another factor is your credit...I think it should definitely be optional but traditional will always stand I guess!
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Posted by Sweet T Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:21am PDT
People choose to not change their names for a variety of reasons. I have a friend who changed her name legally, but kept her maiden name at work since she's a pretty senior person and well-known in the global division of the company. Another friend of mine kept her name because it was a simple, easy to spell and pronounce name and her husband's was difficult. I like my last name, but if my man and I ever decide to get married, I'll take his name because, like mine, there's no way to mess up the pronunciation or spelling. To each her own, taking a man's last name shouldn't be about identity; it's a personal choice. I'll be me no matter what my last name is. Heck, I'm myself under the name Sweet T, too!
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Posted by ablex Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:33am PDT
I didn't change my name, because it is a throwback to the days when a female was the property of her father until she married, at which time she bacame the property of her husband.
If men don't change their names, why should women? We are no longer chattel, and don't need to be labeled as such.
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Posted by yankee in sc Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:33am PDT
Ive been married for 32 years (to the same man. thank you very much) and for the first 30 years I used my own name. My brother (the lawyer) told me there was'nt any law that states you have to change your name, in fact a man can take his wifes name , if he so chooses. Well society has a REAL problem with this concept, especially the military( I was a dependent). They could not grasp the concept at all. Now that I have been with this man this long, I feel "right" using his name because we have been a part of each others lives for so long. I feel a woman has to feel comfortable taking anothers name. otherwise stay "yourself".
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Posted by Roger Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:35am PDT
My ex wanted to keep her last name so that WHEN we divorced, she would not have to change it back for credit cards, etc...and yes, before we married, he said WHEN we divorce. The day our daughter was born, she demanded our duaghter have her last name...I drew the line. Guess as long as I paid the bills....
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Posted by MeganT Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:38am PDT
I would not take my husband's name. It's the prinicple of it. Why should a woman have to chnage her name, but not the man? Why should we give up part of our identity? I don't understand why people would even consider taking someone's name. I will always have my name and never submit to a patriarchal tradition. When you change your name you become someone's property.
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Posted by Kat Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:47am PDT
I'm getting married in a year and I know I'll take his last name.
I choose to take his name because it suits me to do so. Its a choice.
My fiance would be fine with me keeping my name but as one poster said, we're merging our lives together.
Taking his name shows the world just that, its old fashioned and dated but....
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Posted by sche Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:50am PDT
The *mailman* would get confused? Right, because it's soooo difficult for mail carriers who deliver to, say, residences with several unrelated roommates. It's just too hard to figure out that mail with the same address goes to the same place because there's more than one surname!
I'm not even going to start on the thing about a woman losing her identity when she marries, or I'll give my self a rage-induced headache.
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