Love + Sex

Sunday, November 8, 2009

SIGNS OF A CHEATING SPOUSE

I wish I had an answer for this that didn't sound so cliche, but I just don't. The best way to know if your husband is cheating on you is to know your relationship. If your relationship is based on truth, love and commitment, chances are he is not cheating on you. I have seen so many couples go through this and often times it was because one or both have put other areas of their life first. Your mate needs to be the most important person in your life next to children.

I suppose if there has to be a "list" then I would say start watching how often he includes you in outings. If he starts accusing you of being unfaithful and there are no real grounds for his suspicions, he is most likely guilty and trying to turn it around to you, usually as a diversion. Men go through a rough period starting around 43 and continuing until 50, sometimes longer depending on their social life. So do not mistake this "difficult" time as cheating, rather take that opportunity to be attentive and nurturing. Any man loves to be treated like they are the best in the world, the best lovers, the best in sportsmanship and even the best talkers, yep! So make them feel just so. There isn't a woman out there than can grab the attention of a man who is happily married and excited to go home.

Our lives are hectic, especially if we are mother's, wives, homemaker's and even out holding down a job or hobby. Take a minute to notice your significant other, tell him how nice his hair looks or how impressed you are with how young he looks for his age. If your sex life disappears, so will your faithful husband, so make sure you "offer" yourself even if it is the farthest thing from your mind at the moment. There are clever ways of making him think you are a sex goddess without even an ounce of sex! Back rubs and massages are a great start! If you wear him out at home, he is generally too tired to start up a new relationship elsewhere. Tired and nagging a lot? STOP! the quickest way to chase a man out of the house is to nag him out. Be the woman that he is proud to call his wife, guys like to make other guys jealous of the fact that their women do so much for them.

Now before you go and attack me for being on their side, remember this, next to a happy man is always a happier woman.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 14
  • Mimi La Fave's Avatar
    Posted by Mimi La Fave Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:25am PDT

    I have to be honest you are making it sound like women should be out the serving their men and if you don't "offer yourself" to them they will find it somewhere else. Which is total crap. There should be other reasons of why he is your man other than the fact that you boost his ego. He should be serving you just as much! Relationship are about giving, taking and sharing. It is all about balance.

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  • Marlo's Avatar
    Posted by Marlo Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:20pm PDT

    I totally agree. That's the problem now with relationships we as women we constantly have to give of ourselves to make them feel better, or sacrifice how we feel to boost there ego, supposedly to keep them at home but I feel like if they're going to cheat then that's what they're going to do. It's always an excuse for what they do, but let the shoe be on the other foot. What about us and our needs? We always get so caught up in them that we loose ourselves and I'm sick of it! Bottom line is I don't care if you were the best woman in the world if a man is going to cheat that's what he's going to do no matter what.

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  • acosmotea's Avatar
    Posted by acosmotea Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:09pm PDT

    Marlo B, you are so right! Thank GOD you were able to say it for real. If a man is going to cheat then he will. If a woman is going to cheat, she will. I can offer myself everynight which for the most part I do anyway but it makes no difference. Besides women can grab the attention of a happily married man, he's not dead ya know but the happily married man won't act on it. And it takes a mature and honest person to say Hey, I'm not happy and make the effort in the relationship instead of finding it elswhere and then blaming their partner for them cheating.

    I agree you should treat your man like a King but he better be treating you like a Queen. I try at times and have felt like master and servant when my man is grouchy, I get discouraged sometimes but I never give up. I guess that's when I am the good wench! HEE HEE.

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:17pm PDT

    Ladies...

    First, thank you for commenting :) Second, try and see what I was actually trying to say. I am no expert, but I can tell you what keeps him at home...and vice versa.

    I may have stated it incorrectly when I said "offer yourself", I was just using a cute term is all. What I mean is that we are all human, we all need attention...many forms of it. "offering" does not have to be only sex, it can also be friendship, consulting, advice or just a "deaf ear" in some cases. Just be there! Women (and men) get so caught up in everyday lives, that we tend to forget about our sensuality, our passion. This is where "other women" step in..this is also where "other men" step in.

    Giving it up can mean whatever you want it to mean...in your relationship. Sex, love, friendship and companionship. Sorry I rattled so many cages. Don't mistake disagreement with worry.

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  • miss pinky's Avatar
    Posted by miss pinky Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:30pm PDT

    well thank you very much. i never thought i would have to give myself to someone is completely selfish and worry about him stepping out. she can have him.

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  • Leah's Avatar
    Posted by Leah Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:09am PDT

    Erinn, I'm glad you cleared that up. I was actually going to leave a comment yesterday, but I couldn't get through. I came back today just to say something, and I see I wasn't the only one who thought you sounded subservient. There are no good excuses for cheating.

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  • princess's Avatar
    Posted by princess Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:43am PDT

    I have seen man whom their wife treat them well .. He is committed to his family and a caring father . He still love his wife, but still continue go for one night stand even though he knows it breaks his wife's heart .. his wife has talked to him on many occassions but he still continue doing it . In such circumstances, do you think the wife should continue with the marriage or opt out ?

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  • JoyfulStill's Avatar
    Posted by JoyfulStill Fri May 2, 2008 2:47pm PDT

    Speaking as a woman whose husband cheated....

    I hate the fact that a woman can now how terrible it feels to be cheated on, and yet, we'll become the one who helps another man cheat on his wife. It's an awful thing to know that a woman who has felt how I feel, is now sleeping with my husband. I wrote her a letter to tell her how I felt, and how mad I was that she stole my life (and moved into my house, the day after I moved out) and can you guess what she did? She gave the letter to my husband, who called to yell at me, like HE is the victim.

    Why can't we all keep our pants on? That's my question.....

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Fri May 9, 2008 11:39am PDT

    Hello Leah, Princess and goodideas55!

    First let me say thank you for reading and second say how sorry I am for you,it is definately aterrible thing! I surely did not mean to sound subserviant or even "pro-cheating". Quite the opposite actually.

    There are no excuses at all...you are right about that. However, it does happen and we as women need to realize this. Keeping your man at home is not about sex, subserviant women or practices, it is about making him feel special and loved...and WANTED. He also needs to return this to you.

    As far as staying in the marraige? That is a personal choice that only YOU can make. Only you will know your heart and mind. Only you will know how much you will stand for. I have seen that men that cheated once, usually go on to do it again...and again. The key is to never let it get to that, by practicing all of what I said before. I do stand by this, no matter how many women send me hate mail. It works!

    Not only does it work to keep him home, you will soon see that it works in your favor too. You will start to rekindle anything that may have been slipping away, build more trust for eachother and enjoy being with one another more.

    "keeping our pants on" is an age-old question/subject. Human nature tends to grab ahold of some men and women more than others. We are naturally attracted to beauty, charisma, humor in others. Knowing when you are crossing the line is another story! this is just my opinion.

    good luck to you ladies :)

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  • Lakshmi_koyal's Avatar
    Posted by Lakshmi_koyal Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:29pm PST

    Hi,however we treat them as a king or more than that,cheating man will surely going to cheat only.Also he'll but blame on u also. If u are a woman who have faith & confidence on u,i'll say just ignore him who dont feel & understand ur love & affection.Take care of ur children & give them confidence to face the world with true love. Dont waste ur life for social respect,this that etc. Have self-confidence ladies..!

    This is the lesson which i got from my life & following...

    If we worry about these,we have to suffer with mental stress etc...

    So,ignore that and be happy and brave my dear ladies!

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