Love + Sex

Monday, November 30, 2009

SJP is the least sexy woman on earth, ever (REALLY!?!?!)

That's two strikes Maxim!!!

As if their handy cheat sheet to stalking your girlfriend wasn't bad enough, now they have to go out of their way to name the Unsexiest Woman, a title that had to go to someone I guess, and the unlucky recipient is none other than our beloved saint of singles everywhere, Sarah Jessica Parker AKA Carrie Bradshaw. If a woman with such beautiful eyes and hair and one of the most slamming bodies in Hollywood is considered a dog, then does that mean you have to be Angelina Jolie to rank as actually sexy in the eyes of the 21st century average Joe? What does this mean for women everywhere!?!? I call "foul," although, for the record my boyfriend and I fight about this all the time, because he thinks SJP is atrocious. Are men threatened by the sexually enlightened persona of Carrie Bradshaw? To find out, I asked my boyfriend Shya, point blank, what it is he finds so detestable about her:

"honestly, the only reason i speak up about it is because it's funny to watch you respond. i don't have such hard feelings about her, or much of an opinion one way or the other. that said, i do think she's unattractive, and it really has to do with her exaggerated features. she has a really big chin with that wart on it, a big nose, and particularly small eyes, which seem even smaller when she puts black eyeliner around them--which she always does--until they end up looking like little black holes in her face.

i honestly think she'd look better if she put on a little weight. you're always talking about her slamming bod, but really, her extreme thinness just makes her bone structure more obvious, and her features, by extension, more pronounced.

there, i said it."

Alrighty then.

Of course, this Razzie in the hotness category has caused Parker to speak out, because naturally, like any woman (celebs, they're just like us!), she feels understandably wounded:

"It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger. It upset him [Matthew], because it has to do with his judgment too. Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking...It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do? I guess you can't please all people." (Jezebel)

Amen sister. Amen.
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From the Community…

Comments 1-4 of 4
  • luluj's Avatar
    Posted by luluj Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:55pm PDT

    If the standard measure of beauty you are using is what we see in most american magazines, then no, she isn't beautiful. Her angular, irregular, imperfect features mean that she doesn't hit the bar. However, "beauty" and "hot" or "sexy" are two entirely different things. And one thing that SJP certainly is--she is completely hot. She has style, flair, intelligence, confidence and depth. She is endlessly chic and wears clothes beautifully, even when they are unconventional choices. And she will be all these things always regardless of whether her nose and chin will ever grace the cover of Maxim. SJP, along with some of the most elegant and lauded women in the world are "jolie-laid". Too bad American men are so limited.

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  • Sarah F's Avatar
    Posted by Sarah F Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:41pm PDT

    this actually really pisses me off. i mean i never even liked sarah jessica parker personally, but this is just plain wrong! how can you seriously single out ONE woman as being the unsexiest woman in the world?!?! first of all, everyones idea of sexy isn't exactly the same as everyone elses. second of all, if some people didnt find her sexy, trust me, she wouldnt even be famous. our society just wouldnt allow it...that's how shallow the american view of what a woman SHOULD be is. it's patheitc. and lastly... have people even looked at jodie foster??????? there is no way in hell she is sexier than sarah jessica parker. she's got a strange voice, has the body of a 15 year old boy, and doesn't really seem feminine at all. poor sarah jessica parker... i didn't care for her much before, but now i love her for having to put up with that crap

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  • F.U.M.W's Avatar
    Posted by F.U.M.W Fri Jun 6, 2008 10:14pm PDT

    What a dumb thing to say. I don't see what others see in her. but she is much better looking than most people.

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  • Candy Kane's Avatar
    Posted by Candy Kane Sun Jun 8, 2008 6:12pm PDT

    Honestly, I don't find SJP attractive at all, but I do think that proclaiming her the unsexiest woman is cruel and tasteless. But Maxim is a crappy magazine anyway, if this were in TIME magazine then I'd be upset, but what do you expect from a mag like Maxim?

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