Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

So, how many is too many?

Getty Images

Getty Images


Ever since French First Lady, former model and bed mate to rock stars Carla Bruni admitted that she slept with 15 people before marrying President Sarkozy, people are playing the numbers game. Is she a "slut?" Does 15 mean 30 in reality? Are we to assume she's great in bed? Have I slept with too many people? Too few?

I once interviewed a self-proclaimed marriage expert who preached limiting one's sexual experience to zip before getting married, with the idea that if you sleep with anyone besides your lifelong partner, you're more likely to cheat. He explained it thusly: "Compare your husband to vanilla ice cream. If you've already tasted peach ice cream, sooner or later you might find yourself wanting another taste. But if you've never tasted another flavor, then you won't know what you're missing, so you won't have any desire for it." Yeah, really. It was probably one of the stupidest arguments I've ever heard.

Of course, I could go on and on but I won't repeat what's already been said on the subject. Should you crave uh, more "ice cream," Rachel Kramer Bussel writes an articulate, well-thought essay that you can read over at The Huffington Post. But what I'm really interested in is hearing from you: In 2008, is there any such thing as a "respectable" number? How many is too many?
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Comments 321-329 of 329
  • mitchell's Avatar
    Posted by mitchell Tue Sep 2, 2008 6:14am PDT

    from a guys point of view for a male its ok to sleep with whoever you want just for the fact that your a man....for a woman sex shouldnt be something u just bless any guy with...in the way society is today if a woman sleeps around or has multiple partners they will b considered w----s to me if you have for than 10 partners you pretty much are that...well at least i think so....and guys would want someting none or few have had to they could feel proud and call them their treasure

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  • King of Pain's Avatar
    Posted by King of Pain Fri Jan 2, 2009 7:11pm PST

    Wait a minute folks. You want this man you claim to love, this man you want to be with you for the rest of your life, to be the father of their children, to have a life with, to assist you in sickness and in health, to help you in your doddering old age and yet it's none of his business how many people you let inside your vagina? That is INSANE!!This person doesn't deserve the right to wave you off if they don't like what they hear? Good God, if you don't care for them enough to put their happiness before your own, whether the decide to take you as you are or not, at the very least they deserve the truth. They have the right of full disclosure before they tie the knot. Damn, never mind your opinion, whether you win or lose them, THEY ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN!! With every one you are with, you give a little piece of yourself and sacrifice the level of intimacy you can give your husband. So if you have spread yourself around, and you find that you feel that your intimacy is lacking with your husband, you can blame it on the fact that you gave your intimacy away before you married him and he feels that. Not to mention the effects on your husband and your children when they find out how you got around. Don't think it won't have an effect and don't think they won't find out. It is a small, small world. I speak from experience as a husband and a son who found out the truth about his wife and his mother. I both love and hate them. Like it or not, everything you do in life eventually catches up with you and has repercussions.

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