Love + Sex

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Spring cleaning: get rid of that special loser in your life


Maybe you were content to snuggle up next to any old warm body when it was too cold to go outside this winter, but you haven't worn your Stay Puft coat in days, maybe weeks even, and there's no excuse not to store away your lame ass boyfriend as well. Last week the Daily News featured an article about the guys to ditch this spring. They included, in no particular order, the wooer, otherwise known as the guy that goes out of his way to impress you yet you have zero chemistry with, the sex object (i.e. f$#k buddy), and the ubiquitous couch potato (whom you may or may not be married to), the guy who is more interested in playing video games than uh, playing you. In the spirit of spring cleaning, we thought of some other "types" you might consider showing the door. Worst case scenario? You can probably get him back in time for fall.:


The baller
There's something about this guy that screams "playa," but he seems devoted to you, and he's left behind his philandering ways, right? But don't count on it. Once a playa always a playa, and when things get stale, this guy will be riding off to court side seats with some pretty young thing that ain't you. Beat him at his own game and drop that ball(er).
















The man with mommy issues
When it comes to the man with mommy issues, you'll never measure up to dear old mum. I mean, how can you compare to the woman who breast fed him? But here, an even more important question: Do you really want to spend every vacation with your mother-in-law? Unless she's like on of those "cool" moms that was a hippie back in the day or whatever, uh, nope. Stick with this guy and you'll be saying Aloha, Mrs. So and So.








The pretty boy
My gorgeous, older cousin once gave me the advice, "Never date anyone better looking than you." For her, that's easy, and obviously, it's a very subjective matter. But I think all of us know what it's like to go out with "the guy who takes longer to get ready than you do." You're better off leaving this dude alone with his favorite person, himself.



Mr. Superior Morals
This is the smug guy who has all the right answers, graciously forgives your many sins and errors, yet is prone to the Unsolicited Disapproving Lecture. Making mistakes is part of life. Who wants a best friend and lover who constantly reminds you that you're not, and never will be perfect, yet holds you up to impossibly high standards? Better to have a guy who can laugh at you for drinking too much at a party that one (or eight times), as opposed to a man who insists on hauling you off to rehab. Sheesh, the pressure.


















The green eyed monster

A little jealousy here and there never hurt anyone. I've actually seen women use it as a yard stick to measure how much their guy cares about them (a poor tool of judgment, if you ask me). But the man who freaks the eff out when he sees you talking to another member of the opposite sex is nothing but a pain in the ass. Even scarier is the guy who is so over-protective that he complains about the time you spend with your friends and family to the point where you actually find yourself hanging out with them less. Because that kind of, to borrow therapist speak, "isolating," is generally the first move on the potentially abusive partner's list of ways to screw up your life.

Can you think of any I missed? Sure ya can...
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 17
  • Simply_me's Avatar
    Posted by Simply_me Tue Apr 1, 2008 12:31am PDT

    I completly agree... I just did some spring cleaning today!!! Yes!!

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  • asherah05's Avatar
    Posted by asherah05 Tue Apr 1, 2008 1:14am PDT

    Thanks SO MUCH for this post, it really helped me "see the light" so to speak. The guy I'm engaged to as of right now shows alot of these signs. In fact, during the first week we were going together as a couple, I gave a guy friend a hug (and he was NEVER anything BUT a guy friend either) then we started talking at a club one night and when he saw us talking, he literally STORMED OUT pissed off. I ran after him because I didn't know what the deal was, and when I caught up to him and asked he said, "don't ever f****ing hug another f****ing nig**** again!!!!". At first, I just thought that was a new relationship jealousy rant, but he still does shows some of the same signs and he's a complete momma's boy as well as being obsessed with how every angle of his face looks in the mirror!! Man, black guys can be so territorial when it comes to having a white girl but this guy can be a piece of work from time to time!!!

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  • Preetu G's Avatar
    Posted by Preetu G Tue Apr 1, 2008 4:18am PDT

    ah!! ha!! cool.... this is really an intelligent post and a must read for all girls :) good one

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  • noman n's Avatar
    Posted by noman n Tue Apr 1, 2008 4:26am PDT

    Wel.. i have a mixed feeling about this article...in a way you are urging girls to dump their partners rather than understanding them.

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  • priyamvada m's Avatar
    Posted by priyamvada m Tue Apr 1, 2008 5:25am PDT

    Gr8 stuff guys..... Totally agree...

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  • ladybugzalot's Avatar
    Posted by ladybugzalot Tue Apr 1, 2008 7:46am PDT

    uh, norman? Which guy are you??

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  • friend's Avatar
    Posted by friend Tue Apr 1, 2008 7:59am PDT

    more bitterness here...

    maybe you should all become lesbians.

    O' wait that's right, women have these same kind of issues....

    Damn it! Your screwed!

    Report Abuse
  • lowdawg1956's Avatar
    Posted by lowdawg1956 Tue Apr 1, 2008 9:16am PDT

    Why just spring clean.

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  • Tammy H's Avatar
    Posted by Tammy H Tue Apr 1, 2008 2:39pm PDT

    Hey! You missed the control freak! The guy that can do anything he wants to, but, when you are married, or living together, when you want to do something, all of a sudden, there's not enough money, time, or whatever.

    Or the husband that says that it's all his money! Hmmm, I coulda sworn my name was on one of those checks!

    Spring cleaning sounds really good right about now!

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  • anacraig@xtra.co.nz's Avatar
    Posted by anacraig@xtra.co.nz Tue Apr 1, 2008 3:02pm PDT

    It is not a question of bitterness, but any thoughts on the following?

    Imagine a guy who is always away (3-4 weeks at a time), makes strange phone calls to foreign countries (which happens to be where the ex-girlfriend lives), very rarely communicates while he is away (4-5 days at a time without a single message va txt and no e-mails at all, althugh he has a laptop with him), one who relies on you to pay the rent, power, phone, groceries etc.

    Am I right to finally lose my cool and ask him to move out??

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Comments 1-10 of 17

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She wants them to move in together. He wants to save money and stay at his mom's house. Care to weigh in?