Love + Sex

Friday, December 4, 2009

Spring Cleaning Your Love Life

Now that the snow is no longer falling and our bare legs are finally reappearing, we can embark on that ages-old tradition enjoyed by hygienic people the world over: spring cleaning.

For most of us, this includes mopping up mud from the entryway, throwing out those raggety old long johns, donating servicable but unwanted jackets to the Goodwill, and recycling about fifty pounds of winter catalogs and magazines.

After all this, however, there might be one additional task left to do in order to feel truly decluttered: tossing that sorry-assed boyfriend of yours to the curb.

Admit it. You've been wanting to do it for a while. You know you deserve better. Maybe you've just been putting up with him because he has a functioning space heater.

Well, ladies, you don't need a space heater anymore. You need some respect and fun and affection and other things that this guy is clearly not giving you.

Not sure if you're just in a slump or sitting knee-deep in trash? Fortunately, our friends over at the Huffington Post have written up a checklist to help you figure it out.

Included on the list:

1) You always feel crummy after you talk to him/her and guilty if you don't talk to them.

2) He/she is really hard on you or judges you harshly.

3) You walk on eggshells around him/her.

4) He/she is very negative, depressed, and/or does not take care of herself/himself.

5) There is not much room for YOU in the relationship - it's all about him/her.

6) You are incredibly bored, uninspired, stressed out, or unhappy in the relationship.

Did you just nod and say, "Oh, yes, I know those eggshells" while reading the above list? If so, then you indeed have some extra cleaning to do.

We're not going to sugar coat things and say that it'll be easy. After all, saying goodbye to old garbage can be painful and complicated. But, much like those empty beer bottles in your hallway and stacks of outdated textbooks from college sitting on your bedroom floor, the mess will just get worse if you don't do something about it now. 

So be brave. Take out that extra trash that no longer belongs in your house. You deserve to live with a little less clutter.

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Written by Kristen Meinzer for YourTango.

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Comments 1-7 of 7
  • lisa's Avatar
    Posted by lisa Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:27am PDT

    thanx alot for much of the answers i've been looking for. i really need some guidence and just reading this page and web site helped me get through what i've been needing to hear! i will take in some information and make my love life alot easier than what it use to be!! thank you.

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  • Becky P's Avatar
    Posted by Becky P Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:32pm PDT

    i always thought it was just spring fever making me look for new relationships in the summer, like i have been cooked up in the house with this looser all winter and am ready to get out and have a good time again.

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  • brok star's Avatar
    Posted by brok star Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:27am PDT

    those questions summed up my last relationship. I have "cleaned" house and now looking for a lady that isnt going to make me feel like that, I thought it was me but I see it wasn't

    Report Abuse
  • personA's Avatar
    Posted by personA Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:23am PDT

    What if that person is not a boyfriend but your husband?

    Report Abuse
  • Alynne Rose's Avatar
    Posted by Alynne Rose Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:23am PDT

    Iga, I think it's important to run through this checklist prior to getting married. Unfortunately, many women don't see the true colors of their mate until after they've made such a commitment. But regardless of your status with this person, you can't live the rest of your life unhappy. If you honestly feel this way, you need to talk to him about it, seek counseling, or part ways. Do everything in your power to rekindle what you originally felt for the man, but if he's truly unwilling to meet you halfway then there's nothing left for you in this relationship and it will progressively get worse as your resentment, regret, and unhappiness continue to build.

    Report Abuse
  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:27am PDT

    The fear or worry of being alone keeps many women from spring cleaning their husbands/boyfriends. Some advice is to stop and ask yourself,

    " Is this is where I still want to be five years from now?" If the relationship isn't going forward, then it isn't going anywhere.

    Report Abuse
  • Suni's Avatar
    Posted by Suni Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:50pm PDT

    Yes, you can do it. I did. After 14 years of sh!t, I finally left him. With three kids.

    Hard? Yup!

    But not worth the misery.

    Report Abuse
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