Love + Sex

Friday, December 11, 2009

That chastity is so hot right now


According to the web site, True Love Revolution, alas, "there is no condom for the heart." Ah, so true. Additionally, did you know that, "premarital sexual behavior has the potential to negatively affect your emotional and mental health. Early sexual activity and having multiple sexual partners is strongly associated with increased depression, greater likelihood of maternal poverty, and higher rates of marital infidelity and divorce in future marriages." That explains so much.

New York Times reporter Randall Patterson went straight to the source to speak with some of the horn-free Harvard students that keep their pants on at all times (maybe even in the shower, nevernude much?). There's Janie Fredell, abstinence crusader that finds virginity "extremely alluring," and Kevin Joyce, the former president of the Ivy League abstinence encouraging Princeton Club, who likes to take an "intellectual approach" when it comes to not having pre-marital sex, among other not so hot blooded youths.

So what is it that's causing this return to arguably Victorian ideals in our nation's youth? Bush (the man, not the body part) may have a little something to do with it. With the war to distract us, it might have been easy to miss the millions and millions of dollars the Bush administration has funneled into abstinence only programs in public middle and high schools across the United States, but apparently, some kids may have been paying attention after all. (Although, as referenced in the article, a 2004 report found that 11 of 13 abstinence programs examined "were rife with scientific errors and false and misleading information about the risks of sexual activity. Many states are now rejecting federal financing for such classes, on evidence that they fail to limit sexual behavior or reduce teen pregnancy.") In fact, statistics say teen pregnancy rose sharply during the last decade.

Still, there's no denying that a new generation of abstinence activists have emerged. Personally, I think the spunky kiddos over at the Midwest Teen Sex Show have the right idea--focus on education--as opposed to the more restrictive ideals expressed on the True Love Revolution website. But that's just my little old opinion, and I think any embrace of sexuality (or the absence of it) is healthy and courageous, especially when it goes against the grain. I also agree with Martha Kempner, spokeswoman for the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, who thinks that while it's great that abstinent students have more clubhouses to meet in, she is concerned that some of these groups may be "using inaccurate information and distorted data to sell that message.” Quite a pickle indeed.

We're all for sexual or even non-sexual expression, but is the celebration of celibacy repression or a belief to be admired? You tell us.
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 31-34 of 34
  • rose's Avatar
    Posted by rose Wed Apr 2, 2008 3:05pm PDT

    The idea of the christain neocons disregarding the rise in teenage pregnancies, STD's, social stigmatism, and normal human sexual developement is sad and frustrating. Until we start allowing everyone to be who they are and decide when; where; and with who they want to have sex with we as a nation will not be able to work through any of the other complicated issues facing this world, and that saddens me also.

    I started talking to my daughter when she was eleven about sexual boundries; problem solving skills; and looking at both sides of the coin (how things could turn out good, bad, or indifferent), and learning to love yourself, now she is an amazing twenty y.o. with great oppertunities who still puts into play the skills she learned so many years ago.

    I never told her that she should wait to have sex, even thou it was difficult to stand back and let her make her own choices she always did exactly what was right for herself and, from my experience that is the only way to raise a kid, give them the information, be open and nonjudgmental it creates space for conversations which brings into play learning good boundaries and better problem solving skills.

    Why are we so wrapped up in what other people think that we aren't able to make our own decisions? Or learn valuable life lesson on our own terms. Why has it become so chic to only do what the community, the congregation, the conservatives, the corporations, the teaching trend of that time say.

    I say three cheers for everyone that makes a decision based on what is right for them sex, no sex, sex with multiple partners, same sex sex. presurgical sex, post surgical sex, married sex, unmarried sex.

    The last thing that I want to say is safe sex is the best way to have sex until tests and or decisions have been made on other life choices.

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  • supaflyjr's Avatar
    Posted by supaflyjr Thu Apr 3, 2008 6:09pm PDT

    I agree completely with thigaz01 and I'm in the same boat. My thought is as a Christian you should live life the way God intends for you to. It is spelled out VERY clearly in the Bible that Christians are to wait until marriage before having sex. Although it's rare for Christians these days to actually remain abstinent until marriage, those who do to honor God are blessed. I am proof that this is true. But the question thigaz01 raised is one I have also raised. How are people who are waiting until they are married supposed to connect to others who are waiting? You can't just walk up to a girl and say "hey there I find you very attractive. Maybe we should go out sometime, and uh by the way are you a virgin?" That just doesn't work. So what are those who are waiting (and wish to marry someone who has waited as well) to do? I say we all need to get each other's e-mails and as soon as we hear of someone who fits the description we add em to the list as a starting point. bruce@limitlesspro.com if you care to connect... Just put "abstinence" in the subject line so I can distinguish from SPAM.

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  • str82it's Avatar
    Posted by str82it Sat Jun 14, 2008 11:47am PDT

    There is just too much emphasis on SEX! abstinence/celebancy is a personal choice. We, as society should not discourage it and should play more of a role in promoting it. I don't knock sex, it is good in it's place at the right time with the right person. On the other hand it is dangerous when people are not using safe sex, they forget HIV, Syphillis and gonorrhea and these are life threatening, debilitating diseases. I definitely think Sex is over billed! maybe a little abstinence is what's needed.

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