It was 1969. Me, young, single, with a 1969 orange Camaro convertible with white leather interior, a rainfall of hair rivaling Cher's, and yes I thought I was "hot stuff" in my micro-mini skirts and calf-high boots
I was into searching for my dream guy. A friend gave me a book she swore had feminine tips she guaranteed would turn any male into putty. Really? Yes, really....
The title of the book was The Fascinating Girl, a Christian guide for single girls trying to find the perfect mate. It was written and printed in 1969 by a housewife and mother of eight, Helen Andelin. My friend explained there were CLASSES ( at church) being taught on this book! I was mischievously intrigued by the tips, even though in the South flirting is learned from the cradle and practiced first on Daddy - there were new things in the book. I decided I had to give these, ahem, techniques, a try.
Off to a Dallas hot spot with some friends, I scanned the crowd of guys looking for a prospect (victim) - one fellow caught my attention. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but he had magnificent "presence" and all the other guys seem to acknowledge it. I could see laughing eyes flash across the room and he seemed so comfortable in his own skin. He definitely commanded attention and had caught my eye the moment he entered (great eyes, greater smile, great BODY). Luckily, my seat at the table faced his - though we were across the room. My first target was sighted, now to see if this stuff worked.. Naturally shy, I took a deep breath and...
Here are the step for basic flirting in the book - and how they worked:
The first secret in the art of flirting chapter was so simple - I was to just look at him, patiently, until he returned my look, you know, make eye-contact. It didn't take long - he looked right at me, met my eyes. I've been told this always works because it's that wolf instinct guys just naturally have - they scan their area for predators and prey, so if you look they'll soon spot you. The next step was to immediately smile, returning his look eye-to-eye, then blush if you could (BLUSH!?!?!?) and drop your head, as if you were sooooo fascinated but sooooo embarrassed he caught you looking. (Just doing that was enough to make me blush for real)
Finally, I was to wait a few seconds and look at him again, sort of up & out of my eyelashes angled in a very girly manner. Think: "bat your eyelashes". The idea was to give the fellows confidence their overtures would not be rejected. Did this fellow need confidence? Nooooo, he seemed to ooze it, but who knows?
But the basic instructions were:
Look, when spotted then simply smile, turn shy and demure, look away and repeat until...
I was almost giggling with sheer embarrassment at the charade (a naturally very girl-y reaction) and when I saw him still looking right at me - I just lost it- and collapsed in helpless mirth. Amazing! I couldn't believe this was effective; but, I'll be darned if he didn't stand up, excuse himself from his group and head straight for me! I watched him all the way, smiling, waiting for him to come to me. I'm sure that I was not supposed to smile and wait for him but by this time I had forgotten all the rules. This was terrific fun, I was thrilled and excited plus, there was something about him that seemed special...
We danced and danced and had a lovely time. I remember still that he had on slacks and a silk shirt that night; the silk felt nice to my hands. He was genuinely warm and so endearing as well as a hunk. Just a very real, incredibly likable person and I was so glad he "noticed" me. I asked what he did and he said he was into karate- something I knew nothing at all about.
His name? Chuck Norris.
I would highly recommend the book!
After that enchanting first experience, I was
sold for life on this wonderful primer on femininity. I read it cover to cover, tried to make the feminine arts my own and later would nearly die when my husband found the book, recognized sooooo many of the things I had "used on him!". He was furious! (But then, again, we've been married for over 30 years soooo) Would the techniques still be effective? Timeless, I promise, and as the mom of three sons - I know some things never change.
The book is still available<, and if I had a young daughter,
I would make sure she had it. In fact, I would love to stand on
street corners and distribute it freely to every young girl who
passed, if I could.
And why do I blog about this? I'm appalled and saddened by some
of the things I'm seeing young girls do to draw attention to
themselves. I think/know there are many better ways. I know there
are moms out there who are concerned as well and want to help their
daughters.
Is this book manipulative? Noooo, I don't think learning to tap
into the natural radiance of femininity is manipulative. Actually,
just discovering your own femininity is a worthwhile endeavor, I
think, and certainly something young girls need to feel confident
about. Isn't romantic decor all about indulging our femininity?
Femininity is what we are all about, isn't it? Too often, I see
young girls and young women reject their God-given femininity,
instead of embracing it.
I think that may be why so many young girls/women are floundering
when it comes to developing good, strong relationships. I think
every young girl should have this book & could be it's
time to bring back those classes... if you know a young girl who
(well, I heartily recommend Fascinating Gir l). There was also a
book/classes for married women -
Fascinating Womanhood Not that we need it? Or do we?!?!?
*laughing* A refresher course never hurts... online classes are
available.
Note: Looking over that list of "Ideal" qualities, above,
from a man's point of view, I am not and will never be the
ideal woman . Bewitching languor !?!? now that cracks me up. But,
oh, how this helps to 'understand" the guys in our life,
from sons to husbands and dads.
Look inside this book online here.
