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Thursday, December 10, 2009

The History Of Bachelor(ette) Parties

Pop culture has construed them to be full-blown nights of drunken debauchery for which no one is held accountable for the sinful shenanigans that transpire. They are the infamous bachelor and bachelorette parties—when spouses-to-be are customarily subjected to wild partying with friends before "settling down" into a stage of expected monogamy.

Opinions on such gatherings are hotly contested. Anti-partiers question the readiness and maturity of a fiance(e) wanting a "last taste of freedom." Pro-partiers question the naysayer's trust in the relationship. And then there is a whole gray area where a couple must determine how much is too much and what actions are inexcusable. Read: Why I Hated His Strip-Club Bachelor Party

So why can't a group of friends simply gather to celebrate a friend's transition into a new life—without binge drinking, strippers and penis balloons? After all, the tradition's origins are actually quite conservative.

According to a recent Divine Caroline article, bachelor parties are thought to date back as far as the 5th century BC in Sparta, when soldiers would host a dinner in honor of a comrade's wedding. Now before images of 300-esque men in loincloth-clad revelry roll through your mind, the event was actually a very low-key affair.

It wasn't until the Victorian age that bachelor parties even became associated with the "get it while you still can" mentality. (Funny how much that stuffy era has contributed to marriage customs.) In those times, men wanted a night to bid farewell to friends the wife may not approve of once the vows were said. Thus the seeds were sown that eventually would grow into the modern day festivity of engaging in "last chance" acts. Poll: Do You Care If His Best Friend Is A Woman?

Bachelorette parties, on the other hand, didn't come into the public sphere until the 1960s when the women's rights movement was knocking down the door of every male-only tradition. The parties first began as a scandalous upgrade to the bridal shower, in which female friends would give the bride "embarrassing" gifts such as lingerie. Then in the '80s and '90s, it escalated to rival the men's version thanks to the addition of male strippers and glow-in-the-dark penis necklaces. Watch: Bachelorette Party Dos and Don'ts

So whether you and your significant other are opting for separate his and her parties or wish to combine everything into one big bash, there really isn't a wrong way to do a bachelor(ette) party as long as both sides are comfortable with what has been decided. As much as the custom has evolved (or devolved depending on how you look at it), the key ingredient has always been the same: camaraderie.

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Written by Julie Leung for YourTango.com.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 31
  • Mysterious Gryphon's Avatar
    Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:06pm PDT

    My maid of honor is already planning a memorable night for us ... I want the whole shebang, penis veil and all! It's not that I will be forever banned from going out with my girls again, and my fiance and I visit strip clubs together so big thing there, but I really want a night that we ladies can look back on and think "MG sure knows how to party!"

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  • DANKOLO's Avatar
    Posted by DANKOLO Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:54am PDT

    Irealy enjoy the very educative aspect of love affairs. However, more elbow grease.

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:32am PDT

    No I think that when I get married I will talk my boyfriend out of those bachelor(ette) parties. Cuz I dont like the ideas of those. Plus I dont have many female friends and on my side of the batch it wouldnt be very fun more like an expensive cost that is pretty much a waste of money.

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:35am PDT

    but then I did tell my boyfriend we could have one of those things cuz the key word is trust. And without trust in a relationship you have nothing. So let him go out and have his fun.

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  • simfelicity's Avatar
    Posted by simfelicity Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:15am PDT

    u can go ahead to to these bachelor's parties,coz the following days will ours, just u n me only...

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  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:42am PDT

    I still think it's outdated and just an opportunity for men and women to use booze, their friends and an overall "last chance at freedom" excuse to do things they should have or at least wanted to have gotten out of their system before they decided to get married. It isn't about mistrust as stated in a previous blog about this topic, it's about respecting your partner enough to not put yourself in a state of mind and/or place where things could/might happen.

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  • Looch's Avatar
    Posted by Looch Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:12am PDT

    americanbachelorparty.com - can plan your entire party in NYC, and soon vegas!! and it doesn't just have to be about boozin, they can play golf outings, cruises, etc.

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  • Ashley's Avatar
    Posted by Ashley Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:19am PDT

    I think now-days (or at least with my group of friends) they are having stag parties where the bachelor and bachelorette parties are thrown together in order to not have that "What did you do last night" questions. Women can trust their man with their whole heart, but come on.. It's A BOY NIGHT OUT.

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  • LIZ's Avatar
    Posted by LIZ Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:50am PDT

    I cant wait till i have mine! I'm thinking of taking a trip with my girls to las vegas and just having a good time! That will be awsome!

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  • marina's Avatar
    Posted by marina Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:09am PDT

    I hate bachelor(ett) parties. They are completely pointless. I personally don't care about any other guy but my own. Even if I had my own bachelorett party I'd be upset because he's having all the fun he wants while I'm borred and embarrassed out of my mind. Also he gets to watch these stripper girls do s--- that I can't even so much as attempt to do because I'm most deffinitly not that kind of girl. Afterward he's gonna expect me to do that stuff, and I just can't do it!

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Comments 1-10 of 31

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