There's one thing though, I feel a bit uncomfortable at times when he is in his "Lovey-Dovey" status, it seems like I act the oposite of that now. I mean, If you have been through what he's put me through in the past, I'm sure you'd understand where I'm coming from.
The day I met my current boyfriend (D*) was a night that I was having problems with my ex. D* was known as the flirty guy, the guy with the reputation of always being single, even if he had a girlfriend. Of course me, being the out of town grl, didn't know that at that time.
We started talking more an more and he even came to visit at my college, regularly. As we started spending more time around each other I sarted noticing how popular his phone was with missed calls. Everythime I was around he would alwayz seemed to ignore his phone calls like he was hiding something. Since we were only friends I never asked or said anything. One time I even saw him with a hickey on his neck, but kept my mouth shut.
After he got his phone disconected he started calling me from random numbers and one time that I missed his call I decided to call him back. When I called back the voice of a young grl answered. When I asked if somebody had tryed reaching me she asked a guy in the back ground, it was him, he denyed calling me and when she was about to let me know that I had the wrong #, I asked if by any chance if D* was there since I was pretty sure it was him calling me,I then heard the yelling and questioning of the young grl towards her boyfriend. "You called sum grl from my phone?" , she said. after that night I knew I was suppose to stay away from him.
The next night he called me again, after the questioning he denyed having a grl, an that the grl from the other night was only his friend. Even after telling him to stop calling me he never did, I realized that he had taken over my emotions with his charm. I felt like he had even helped me forget about my ex who had hurt me so much. As we started to spend more time together than before one day I lost my mind an gave my body and soul to him (you know what I mean). At that time I wasn't really thinking about how much harm I was about to give myself.
I lost communication with D* for a while, I felt abandoned. I tryied reaching him several ways but I was begining to realize that's all he wanted from me. One time, I tryed reaching him through his cousin an I had hit the jack pot. I finally reached him and began to lose control of his betrayal, about just using me. He bagan to deny all of my thoughts about him and said that he did like me. We began to hang out again and it seemed like everything was working out again. Two months into talking and experiencing each other I started thinking about how he had not asked me to be his grl friend yet. When I brought this up it seemed like it bothered him, he would aways find a way to change the topic or just walk away. I started to get serious about the question when he would want me in a sexual way. Until one day when I stopped him from taking my clothes off he finally said, yes, I want to be your boyfriend. I really didn't like the way he gave me that response but at that moment it meant a big deal to me.
As time went by I started hearing many things about him all the time. That D* was here,an D* was there with so and so. I tryied ignoring it since he would always have something perfect to cover the lies with. I wouldn't see him much since he was a "street" guy at the time. He would come and see me when he could, which I should of known that this was a big clue to cheating. One time, his supposibly ex-girl friend had asked one of her friends to ask one of my friends if he was cheating on her with me, that way she could break up with him. This really hurt my heart but when I brought it up he only said that she was only trying to break us apart.
There has also been other things I've heard, such as getting with other grls in parties. One time he didn't call me during the whole weekend since he decided to hang out with this 14 year old grl who has a reputation of getting with guys easy. Who happened to be best friends with one of his grl cousind who doesn't like me. This was the first time I broke up with him but he came back begging me for another chance. I asked him for the truth an he kept denying that any of that is true. Up to this day he still denyes that anything ever happened with her. I know something did happened for a fact since his best friend who is my grlfriends' boyfriend was there at those instants. Now everytime she's around I feel uncomfortable because I kno she looks at him and D* looks at her when I don't see him. This makes me sick.
Since I'm a "myspace freak", I would always write him sweet comments but he would alwayz delete them and when I would say something he would simply say that he never got them. One time I found out that his supposibly ex started writing him sweet comments about how she loved him an how she missed him. When I confronted him about this he would say that he didn't know what I was talking about. Then after that he set his myspace comments on approval before posting.
Another time when I was on Myspace and I saw him online I wrote him that I missed him and called him "Babe". When I receive a reply it said, "are we going out or something?" and I replyed. "what do u mean ,are we going out, what r u talking about?", tinking that he was mad at me. I then received a reply saying, "yes, like we together or what?", when I called my boyfriend at that same instand I asked him why he wrote me that and he said that he wasn't even on myspace. So when I replyed to the person on the other side of the computer I said, "Who the ----- is this, and why the ----- are you hiding behind his profile, this ----- is ----- wack" and guess what, I received no reply back. I realized it was her, who desperately wanted to kno what was D*'s and I's relation.
I then had an crazy idea set in my mind to finnaly get to the bottom of all this. I decided to make up an account of a guy whom was supposibly D*'s cusin from chicago and she fell for it. As I started questioning her about her days and weekend and what she do and how is the cousin an her doing. Many lies and betrayals reveled, this truly hurt me in many ways. I would then be all about where he was and where was he going and it was just a pain.
Since he is a break dancer, he has practice two times a week. One time I went to go look for him at break dance practice, he wasn't there, when I went to his house it turned out that he was nicely dressed. When I asked where he was going he just said that no where, and in a messed up way said, "what do I have to ask for permission to dressed up or what?". I didn't say anything after that. I then left because I had some things to take care of, plus it was late, when he was saying bye to me he seemed like he was in a hurry too but I didn't think any of it. The next day when I asked her what she do last night she wrote to me about how she had gotten drunk with him and she didn't even remember any of what happened. This made me really angry and sad inside. When I questioned him he lied to me about it.
He stopped seeing her for two weeks but then one night when he didn't call me like he always does, I knew he was up to somethin. I finally received a call from him house but it turned out to be his mother saying that she wanted us to do her favor, and when I told er that he wasn't with me she realized that she had done a mistake by calling. She told me that he had gotten back from practice and when he got home he didn't even get in the shower like he usually did, but that he did get ready and went flying out the door. The next morning I called her mom and asked if he got back last nigh and she informed me that he didn't. I knew that he was at her house, and thankzz to a friend I knew where that was. When I passed through that house I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw him standing right there inher porch by her. I wanted so bad to stop at her house just to let him know that this time I saw him with my own eyes and not just heard another "rumor". I didn't, I only went to his house later and left the nice jewlery an told him that I didn't want to hear anything from him.
A week went by and the next thing I know he is at my college dorm begging me to give him another chance with flowers and a card in his hand. As u can imagine I did accepted him back. Since that day he never spoke to his ex ever again, even though she did tryed reaching him.
After this I began to notice that he began changing for the better (5 months into our relationship). Since he is a high school drop out he began to take GED calsses to receive his Diploma. He even got a job now and is planning to go to college in the fall of 2008. Even though he has changed for the better I feel like there are simple things that he does which bother me at times. For example, when I have money I alwayz love to spend it on us. I take him to go get his hair cut or go out to eat. I even got a phone out for both of us under my name. I feel like things like this come out of me than what they do from him. It just makes me feel like the guy? Also I have cought him looking at grls in a desired way and it truly makes me uncomfortable. He also loves to be the center of attention and the clown which are the oposite of me. He even does a couple of illegal things that I'd rather not mention and even though I tell him that he should stop doing them he continues to do so.
With this, I happen to get mad with him many times and argue. I kno he gets tired of hearing me but yet he still remains by my side. One time he even got a bit physical with me as I tried leaving because he made me mad. When I was trying to get out the door from his grandparents house he stood infront of the door. I tryed pushing him to the side but wasn't able to move him at all, he then pushed me back and I landed right on my butt on to the hard floor. As he leaned down to apologize I got up quick and tryed running out until he grabed my arm really tight and wouldn't let go. he then snached the keys out my hand and wouldn't give then to me. He made me go out his grandparents house since he was scared I would wake them up. As he had my keys in his hand, I tryed getting them but he would warn me that he would make me fetch them if I didn't stop. This night really terrorized me as it remind me of the nights with my parrents past, it has been almost 2 months since then and he promised me that he would never do such thing again. Even though he promised I am alwayz afraid that he will do this again in the future.
Before any judging, this guy is the guy who now tells me he loves me all the time and has proposed to me twice, some how wants to marry me in the future.
I would really love to hear honest opinions about my whole love story. Should I remain in this relationship or should I put a stop to it?
