The foundation of all our relationships rests on the all-important relationship with our Self. Our success -- also known as our happiness -- within our relationships is measured by our connection with this one person sitting right here, to our very Self. So what does that mean to have a relationship with one's Self? What would that even look like?
That's the question of a lifetime. For me, it looks a lot like care-taking a process of self-unfolding. To describe it though, maybe it's better to name the relationship a tree has to its nutrients, the Sun, soil and Earth, rather than define the solid thing. Astrology excels at naming the nature of our particular tree, but I believe there are basic nutrients we all need to nourish our self-relationship, and one is careful attention. If I don't pay attention to how I am doing, to what I think, feel, and dream about today, I may miss my Self altogether. Having a good relationship to one's Self also asks for dedication toward fostering what you discover during those periods of self-attention.
Capturing our own attention seems to like half the battle nowadays, doesn't it? To unplug, turn off the phone, turn down the volume on our life to barely audible, and let all that white noise in between our ears just die out. Such a radical act of freedom can be scary in and of itself. Yet learning to be with the space and white noise and emptiness, to allow it to exist without needing to do anything about it is the beginning of having a fabulous relationship with one’s Self.
Out of that emptiness and gentle allowing, anything can happen; we may discover we have an inkling of an idea we really care about, which the cacophony of noise in our life had previously obscured. If we're wanting or waiting for something to happen, we can find peace in the stillness of 'nothing happening.' We may even let the chips gently fall where they may, noting that our life more resembles autumnal falling leaves than dewy summer blossoms.
Astrologically, this Cancer Sun season (ie, right now!) is the time to get back in touch with the fountainhead of our being, the essence of our Self. The gentle seasonal activities support this -- spending time outdoors, with friends and family, reading a novel or getting back in touch with a creative or spiritual practice nourish the Self so deeply, and so invisibly. During this time, friends have often commented to me about their experience of feeling 'held back' or unable to accomplish much of anything. I maintain that's our addiction to activity; Cancer is a time of incubation. We could honor that.
Our relationship to our Self is calling. It asks for our attention, our dedication to following through on the discoveries we make there. Not all discoveries need to be immediately shared. We may feel alienated or set apart from the tribe in our discovery, and we may be moved to act alone for a time. In this silent Self re-birth, tend to the flame of the most vital life-giving things and activities that nourish your being. Through this solitary practice of gentle attention, we will be led home.
