The new “spinster”

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  Posted by KATE Thu Apr 3, 2008 4:06am PDT

  Oh My Gudness ~ my first thoughts were about spinning discs ~ then I remembered way back as a child this was a term my Great Aunt would use

  to refer to herself.

  In this day and age I had thought we had been able to drop many labels.

  I admire women who are independent and choose to date yet maintain their own place.

  Hugs ~

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  Posted by Jessica K Thu Apr 3, 2008 9:04am PDT

  well may be if women would not give all the benefits of marriage to men without all the legal commitments there would not be so many "spinsters". The fact is men today are pathetic dogs who do not treat women with respect. The feminist movement failed we now not only have to do everything, but we also are looked as sex objects more so than ever. I mean little girls wearing some of the things they do today...come on a woman's worth is her mind not her body. It is time we stand up and say we refuse to be treated and viewed in this way. Forget our gender we are just as capable of anything a man can do, and we should not be judged for our bodies. Furthermore, the current primaries illustrate how women are viewed. People in morning talk shows were discussing Hillary Clinton's make up... do you think if she were a man they would be discussing her outfit? Please...the media has conditioned us as well as men to believe that our worth and sole function in life is to be pretty and stupid (just look at Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson.) To quote an 80s twisted sister song "We're not gonna take it, no we ain't gonna take it anymore." Stand up and be heard. I am a proud single, intelligent, idependent woman and I defy any label anyone tries to throw on me...you should do the same.

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  Posted by RosemarieC Thu Apr 3, 2008 6:28pm PDT

  I think the term is outdated. It has a negative connotation. In the past, women were looked down upon if they were not married by a certain age. And if they passed a certain age, even if she was still within child bearing years, she was a lost cause. I cringe when I see old movies that portray single women as unwanted people and pathetic. Being single has so much more strength and significance to it in this age because women have the freedom to define themselves. Getting married later in life or staying unmarried is not as bad as people think. I think taking care of yourself, being happy, and enjoying life needs to be experienced as a single person. Relish this time you have to yourself. I think women are becoming aware that we have to catch up and finally get to know our Self. It takes time and you can only experience that on your own.

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  Posted by kgabie Fri Apr 4, 2008 10:41am PDT

  being sinle is great! it allows you to attain your goals without compromising your efforts and success because of the other person. it is just that today women are empowered to get somewhere in life, to get that job, to get that position, to be the creator of this and so on by the time a woman achieves these goals she is almost into middle age and passed the recommended marriage stage. so really there is no room sometimes to rely on a marriage to come rescue you.

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  Posted by Broadwaystar22 Fri Apr 4, 2008 11:20am PDT

  I outright agree with Jessica K....if we would stop having sex before marriage....let men know that we want respect, serious relationships, we wouldnt even be having this coversaation.....We should be focusing on solving the world's problems more than what we wear and what he/she thinks about us!

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  Posted by mistressMWAHAHA Fri Apr 4, 2008 3:47pm PDT

  Jessica, what about the women whose end goal isn't marriage? I think there is a lot more women on women hating than there is men on women hating. As a single woman, I encounter more women judging me than men judging me. Just because I have sex without it being "legal" doesn't mean I am being disrespected. I am very well educated, have a great job and make my own money I have a lot in my brain.I am not sure that I ever want to get married and I like having sex, that's my own choice.

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  Posted by kz4ufo Fri Apr 4, 2008 11:09pm PDT

  I am a 35 year old, never-married female and in "the old days" I would be considered a spinster. But this is 2008 and I would like to think that our outlook on this type of labeling would have evolved a bit. Unfortunately it still exsists. It is a shame that it is okay for men to be independent, but when single women are strong and independent they are seen as unpopular, ugly or unwanted. This is why female teens and preteens are rushing into relationships at an early age. They feel they must be attached to someone or be "loved" (have sex) to belong. I have seen this happen to my friends - all rushed out to get married in their early 20s - now have 14-16 year old daughters who are rushing out to have sex and "belong". And my 30-something friends are now going through the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" stage of their lifes while working on their 2nd or 3rd divorce! So if I am a "new spinster", well, I am darn proud of it. I love myself, I am happy with my life and I can take care of myself. If I find someone to share that with sometime in my life, that will just be an added bonus. :)

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  Posted by A. G. S Sat Apr 5, 2008 6:01am PDT

  I love being a spinster. In three weeks, I will turn 65, and I embrace that as well. I have recently retired from teaching, a less happy state brought on by health factors. So yes, I was the archetype spinster schoolmarm, a little to the left of Miss Dove and a little to the right of Auntie Mame. I never found the word "spinster" to be pejorative in any way. I saw myself, and was seen by my friends of both sexes, as strong, competent, and ravishingly independent. I never thought life would be better if I were married.

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  Posted by Cupcake1019 Sat Apr 5, 2008 6:37am PDT

  Well I'm 40 and I'm still single, too. I have had people (well women) literally ask "What's wrong with you that you're not married by now?" But I see so many married women around me dealing with cheating spouses and physical and emotional abuse. And so my answer to them is "What? So I can have some man cheating on me or beating me up? Why would I want to put myself through that?" Well if I have to go through all of that just to say that I have a husband, then I would rather stay a spinster and I have no shame in it.

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  Posted by Kitty Sat Apr 5, 2008 6:50am PDT

  I'm soon to be 51, and had a "starter marriage" in my twenties. I have been single for most of my adult life. Although I occasionally miss the companionship of a man, especially around the holidays, I am fairly happy and well-adjusted. As I've aged, the sex has become less important, thank Goddess. I have wonderful friends, siblings, cousins to share free time with; I have a solid education and a very good job. While I appreciated the sweet baby experience my girlfriends experienced, I was spared those horrible teenage years. I'm very happy with my animal companions, thank you! I vacation most years in Europe or wherever my heart desires. Life is good...

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