I really felt the need to touch on this subject, maybe for my own counseling, perhaps taking my own advice would be easier if I saw it on paper, right? We have all heard the phrase, "A woman's job is never done" and although it does hold a bit of truth, it also makes us feel under-appreciated, undervalued and exhausted at times.
Not only men fall into the trap of "The Stepford Wife Syndrome", what I like to call SWS, women are even more guilty of doing it. How many times have you found yourself idolizing the woman next door? Maybe your best friend's wife? Or that perfect mom at PTA that seems to have her plastic surgeon on speed dial.
Low self esteem, a "hum-drum" marraige and financial woes are all evil culprits of creating an imaginary world around us, and that is exactly what it is, imaginary. There is no such thing as a perfect person, male or female. Believe me, if I thought I could "re-wire" myself to be a perfect blonde bombshell with perky breasts and unsmudged eyeliner and lipstick, I would be the first person at the electricians shop!
Humans are amazing creatures, we have the ability to create things around us. For example, when you are in a bad mood, just watch how quickly "bad" things happen around you. But when you are having a good day, it appears as though you are unstoppable, right? You create these situations.
Everytime I have an argument with my husband, it always comes down to one particular feeling I get, failure. I consistently feel as though I am this hideous green-eyed monster that just ate an entire shelf of bon bons and slept in my curlers all night.
I see every wrinkle, there or not. I believe that every woman he runs into at work is a super model just waiting to take him off my hands for me, I even feel as though I must weigh about 500 pounds when in reality I am not much over a buck 30, or is that an illusion too? Ah yes, this is what is known as the Stepford Wife Syndrome.
Insecurity and unhappiness with your self will take on it's own ugly entity, and rather quickly. I do not know about you ladies, but one thing that I always remind myself of when I watch that movie, yes I'm a gluten for punishment, is that if you notice, towards the end of the movie all the "wives" are malfunctioning, zip, zap, fizz is what starts to happen to these perfect women. Hooray, there is justice for all!
It's true, that there will always be that wife next door, or the woman at work, even the PTA mom who appears unstoppable and all around great. You can become that woman, that wife. You must first become her in your mind. Once you convince yourself you are beautiful on the inside, the beauty will start to seap to the outside.
I discovered recently that I was setting myself up for failure. As soon as the moon alligned just right and a few stars strayed to the right, that was it, I was doomed! All of a sudden every single woman in the universe held some kind of magical beauty pill, and they forgot to give me one!
I often feel inadequate or "tiny" around certain friends, and I must stop doing this! As a matter of fact it destroyed one friendship already and has caused several un-needed fights between my husband and I. You see, my husband has an idea of what his stepford wife is, and unfortunately I have not been wired correctly for his idea.
He wants a spotless house, wonderfully cooked meals and super mom, I have managed only 1 out of 3. I AM super mom. I homeschool one of our kids, shuttle around the other two and am continuosly the crisis hotline for my 20 year old and her school or boyfriend life.
But everytime I turn around and want a pat on the back or a "way to go", here comes the Stepford wife in all her glory. She is educated, cooks unbelievable meals...daily! She manages the budget, household and children, and did I mention still works, without a hair out of place. She is the perfect wife, doesn't complain, never gets her attitude shifted out of gear and she is my friend.
This friend, well there have been times that I wanted to dump water on her to see if I could short circuit her, before the next argument with my husband over the dirty laundry pile that can now be classified it's own Island or why I didn't get my son to baseball practice on time. But I am starting to see that I could be her, I really think I could, but do I want to be? Would this make my husband love me more? No I don't think so.
My husband signed up for this marraige, sort of like when you join the Army. For better or for worse. He signed a contract and I'll be darned if I am going to let him out that easy! I think I have it figured all out now. I will become my own version of a Stepford Wife...She cooks when she can, pays the bills if she gets time and the laundry Island? Well I will visit soon.
The plus to this is I will be happy, no wires to short, no batteries to replace and best of all, no foreign substances such as saline or plastic to rupture or leak, I will be the perfect model.
Ladies, may I make a suggesstion? Become your own stepford wife, start today. You do not need a man to make you feel special or important, you need yourself to do that. If your man seems to be chasing after the perfect model, hand him a screwdriver and smile. Quietly add in a sweet tone that, "SHE" has been recalled.
I tried for awhile to be that perfect woman, always did my makeup and hair, just so I could get it smeared all over my face for running after my son and get away dog. I tried hanging out with that PTA Plastic mom, and although she was nice to look at, I couldn't make any sense of what she was trying to say between her "um's" and "like-you-know's". I even joined the "health bandwagon" yeah that worked for about a week, and I blame it all on those school bake sales! Once, my kids actually had brownies before breakfast.
This new found discovery for me will be great, I hope. I know my limits, I understand what a busy life I lead and I am no longer worried if dinner consists of macaroni and cheese more than one night a week. I only want to be perfect in my kids eyes, and that's not too hard to do.
I need to start loving me, pulling all the wires out and taking back natural! I am sometimes a nagg, I am usually flaky or unreliable, pretty much a carefree spirit and a bit humorous at times, I am plain old me! Take it or leave it. But should you choose to leave it, keep the rust spots on me for the next owner, it adds charm and that "gently loved" feel.
