Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Thermostat War, And 6 More Silly Compromises

You've heard it from the cohabitators time and again: living with someone means making major lifestyle compromises—relinquishing half the bed, the closet, the TV remote, etc. But what about the microscopic adjustments that catch a couple completely off-guard?

The Washington Post just posted this chuckle-worthy piece on the annual thermostat war waged between wives who appreciate the summery climate and husbands who believe in the power of the almighty air-conditioning. Read: 5 Things I Hate About My Marriage

"This is a real phenomenon," said Kathryn Sandberg, director of the Georgetown University Center for the Study of Sex Differences in Health, Aging and Disease. "We have lots of data showing that women generally are far more sensitive to feelings of cold."

Studies among other mammals reveal the same trend. Given a choice between two chambers on either side of the comfort range, males prefer the chillier area while females go for the room that is "too hot" (according to their mates). Furthermore, military research has shown women to be more susceptible to cold-related ailments such as frostbite and hypothermia. So the next time you and your significant other get embroiled in a passive-aggressive temperature adjustment war, just blame biology. Female Vs Male Brain: Is There A Difference?

All this hot and cold talk got us thinking: what are some other seemingly silly compromises (or lack thereof) most couples don't see coming when they decide to bunk beds? Here's our quick hit list: 

Bathroom counter space and outlets: Not everyone can enjoy a two sink bathroom with outlets galore for two electric toothbrushes, a shaver, hair dryer, curling iron and et al. It may be prudent to invest in extra storage space and outlet splitters. Read: Sharing a Bathroom? Cohabitation Tips

Shoes or socks in the house: Old habits are hard to break. If your significant other dwelled in a shoes-on household while you can't bear the thought of outside dirt getting trekked onto the carpet, perhaps an ultimate game of footsie will solve this dilemma once and for all.

Shower times: Singletons may take for granted the luxury of rushing into an unoccupied shower when running late to work. Not so easy to pull of when there are two people getting ready in the morning. Our suggestion—jump in anyway. Co-showers are sexy and save water. Read: World's Sexiest Hotel Bathrooms

Toilet paper usage: When you live together, you'll be on the toilet and suddenly realize there's no more toilet paper and the refills are outside the bathroom and down the hall twice as many times as before.

Sleeping habits: One phrase—chronic blanket hog. Solution—two blankets.

Eating locales: Some of us prefer the TV, others like to get their munch on in bed. Not looking forward to finding cracker crumbs between the sheets? How about getting portable TV trays that will catch falling bits of food? Read: How to Train Your Man 

The beauty of this list is that these are silly problems to complain about. Luckily, fighting can be healthy and most couples get over each other's bothersome quirks in their own fashion. As the poet Phyllis McGinley so wisely quiped, "Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy." 

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Written by Julie Leung for YourTango.com
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 24
  • Rese's Avatar
    Posted by Rese Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:24pm PDT

    so true, so true. Sharing space, meaning personal space is difficult but worth the while esp. if you are not only in love but trully love who you wit in ALL of their ways-for who they are.

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  • erin's Avatar
    Posted by erin Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:45pm PDT

    I had about had it during last winter with the tug-of-war with the comforter not to mention his sweating on my comforter. I decided that I would use two of them, one for me and one for him. Worked well and no more dreams about freezing to death and waking up with out any blankets.

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  • TAY's Avatar
    Posted by TAY Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:51am PDT

    Well I won't say all women get colder. I'm certianlly always colder. When I roomed with my mother we often had this issue. I'd be freeazing and she'd be fine. I bought a portable heater so that I could tuck myself away in my room or bathroom with heat. But, if you're in a relationship where you have to share the same bedroom then that would be a problem. I'd just say that while I get the idea that it's always easier to put on more clothes, some of us don't want to have to sit in the house with coats, gloves and boots on. Compromise is a better way to handle that situation. Of course a friend of my mom's just solved the issue by having seperate bedrooms. He goes to his, and she goes to hers. Not sure I like that idea, but if it works...then it works.

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  • simfelicity's Avatar
    Posted by simfelicity Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:22am PDT

    i always share blankets with my husband...it will just add heat with ur romance...if he is cold, i will wrap him with a blanket...and if i am cold he will do the same....u can show ur love in every little thing u do....

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  • Stephanie's Avatar
    Posted by Stephanie Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:25am PDT

    You forgot the remote war. Two people and one tv can get vicious.

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  • InLove's Avatar
    Posted by InLove Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:36am PDT

    Sharing the shower in the morning takes me more time... But he gets up 15 minutes after me, so that's not usually a problem. Our biggest problem? The temperature in the house because I'm always cold and he's always hot. Oh, and his snoring!

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  • Alicia's Avatar
    Posted by Alicia Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:52am PDT

    The absolute best thing for my marriage are ear plugs and a sleep mask. He snores like crazy, and plays a hand held video game in bed. I get up early, he works late. So I use the ear plugs and sleep mask, he plays his game, and we are both happy.

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  • elitzab's Avatar
    Posted by elitzab Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:52pm PDT

    We don't fite for the remote we don't watch TV , only dvd movies and we don't have cable.We take showers together most of the time and all our clothes and things in the bathroom are together.As far as a room tempreture we like it the same , if he is hot I am hot too and vise versa.I now he is close to perfect LoL ;)

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  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:27pm PDT

    Well I am the one that is ALWAYS hot and my husband is the one who gets cold or feels fine. To save money we keep the thermostat at 80 during the summer but our house is covered with shade trees, we also run the ceiling fan 24hrs. He sleeps with a blanket and I sleep with a sheet. We dont have cable so we like the same shows if he watches something that I dont want to I get on my laptop. We have two showers but I shower at night to relax and he showers in the morning to wake up. We keep toilet paper in both bathrooms so we will never have an issue. No eating in the bedroom because he doesnt like it but its not hard cause we dont have a tv in the bedroom.

    Sleep masks are a must!

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  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:09am PDT

    I never met a woman who wasn't cold...in a sauna; on the fourth of July;

    on the beach in Florida; when it's 90 degrees with 90% humidity.

    They were born with a cold gene. Either that, or it's their excuse for not wanting to take their clothes off. [LOL]

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