The Thing that I'd never do....

I consider myself to be somewhat of a hopeless romantic, and I am not making it up! No, seriously, I think that I am in love with the whole concept of falling in love. Notice, I didn't say being in love. I am currently married, and, being in love, is well, urm, not as exciting to me. I love how it feels to be dangling on the edge of emotional uncertainty, in a good way anyway! I love how love feels when it is really fresh, like that first spring rain, or the dew on fresh cut grass in the wee hours of the early morn. I love how it feels to never really know, but just have that "feeling" that someone is just as or even more excited about just the thought of you, and who you are, as you are of them. That it didn't take them to see you, or hear from you, or to touch you, but that they could just have an inexpressible joy from just your image becoming realized in their mind. What I'd never do. Yes. I promised myself that although, when I was just casually dating here or there, yes, another fellow could come along and sweep me away off of my dainty feet in an instant. After all, why wouldn't I give him a chance? This could be my knight in shining armor, right? Yes. I must take the chance. But now. Oh, now, it's different. I have stood in front of God and Man, and have proclained my vows, reciting words of foreverness for all in attendance to hear. I would tell the world how you would always have every increment of my being, my mind, and indeed my body. I made that vow because I never, ever, ever would have contemplated turning a deaf ear or a cold shoulder to you, on account of another. I wouldn't betray your trust. I would hold and protect your heart forever in the folds of my hands, never letting go of it. But..... I promised. But, oh what woe I feel!-love, love has shown me a trick and has provided an image that has proven delightful. Ignited by a grand sense of wonderment and lavish uncertainty. Love. Fresh, not so new, but fresh indeed. Why, I  thought it could never be? Well, surely my long lost love was just that, lost, forever. We would only meet in passing, for sure, and there would be nothing left of the past, no essence of the promise that the love of youth had on us, with it's captivating power. No, that would never be again. But somehow, it has shown itself, in a way so unsuspecting. Why tempt thee, oh love, do I not already have posession of you? How is it that you could take a new form, from that of which was old? The THING that I'd never do......what was it? I promised in my heart as a child, was to never let go of love- that when it comes, I will grasp it with all of my might, because oh I have searched for you for so long. I felt that as an adult, when I made that vow, that that would be it; this marriage IS it. One shot deal. This IS the love that I want, because I don't see anything that comes close to it, and I've waited, waited, oh so long for it. I can't let it out of my grasp. Yes. I will comit to it. Invest in it. Give to it. Nurture it. So that it can grow and become all of my fairy tales and that of grandeur. Beautiful for me. I made a  committment to..... I am not so sure, identities appear distorted, unclear, misty, exciting.....am I just chasing beautiful bubbles in the breeze?