Love + Sex

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Unsexiest Man Awards

Bryan Bedder/Getty Images

Bryan Bedder/Getty Images


Earlier this week we blasted Maxim for being lame enough to name Sarah Jessica Parker as the one and only Unsexiest Woman of 2008. It seems The Phoenix decided to turn around and launch their own version of the cruel game, starring 100 of the gross guys of the year, but this time it's well, kinda funny.

My personal unsexy favorites include #92, Adnan Ghalib:

"One of the saddest small details of Britney Spears's recent downward spiral was her being spotted dating the very bottom-feeding parasites who've turned her life into a horror show of never-ending surveillance. In this celebrity version of Stockholm syndrome, Adnan was puppetmaster general."

So, so true. And the one about #4 AKA Tom Cruise is right on, too:

"No matter if he's chiding other luminaries for their birthing preferences, or establishing vertical-leap records off sofas, we already knew Tom was nuts — he had us at "Hello, I'm insane." Now, though, it seems he's gone fully Cruisazy, starring in an off-the-cuckoo-charts, straight-to-YouTube promotional vid for Scientology. Highlight, among many: "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one that can really help." That's great, Tom. Now if you'll just bust out the Google Maps and plan a field trip with some of your Scientologist buddies to drive past Darfur."

Dying to find out who's number one? Hint: He goes by the new moniker, "'Roid-Raging Rocket." Check him out here.
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 18
  • Chief CHO's Avatar
    Posted by Chief CHO Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:03pm PDT

    funny post!

    Report Abuse
  • WebD's Avatar
    Posted by WebD Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:32pm PDT

    Can he really be UNsexy if this makes headlines?

    UNsexy would not allure readers - they would be apathetic

    Report Abuse
  • Ted's Avatar
    Posted by Ted Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:19am PDT

    That photo of Tom makes him look like a plastic surgery gone bad.

    Report Abuse
  • H C's Avatar
    Posted by H C Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:03am PDT

    His fanatical religious views are too much for my liking.............I think he's lost the plot! lol!

    Report Abuse
  • AltoGirl's Avatar
    Posted by AltoGirl Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:41am PDT

    where's the other 99?

    Report Abuse
  • Salman's Avatar
    Posted by Salman Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:40am PDT

    and I thought you had your own list of top 100..

    Report Abuse
  • Diane's Avatar
    Posted by Diane Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:09am PDT

    The most unsexiest man of all time: Michael Moore. Second choice is John Kerry.

    Yes, I'm Republican, but that has nothing to do with my choices. These two men are repulsive!

    Report Abuse
  • Elmo363's Avatar
    Posted by Elmo363 Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:15am PDT

    And Bush is not on the list? WTF?

    Report Abuse
  • Hatebird's Avatar
    Posted by Hatebird Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:02am PDT

    George Clooney.

    Report Abuse
  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Wed Apr 2, 2008 8:35pm PDT

    Ben Stiller

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 18

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