Steve Harvey has written a terrific, humorous, truthful book about men and women and their differences, called 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.'
I took away a lot of lessons from his book but particularly his observation about the "Three P's" of how men show love.
I think women respond innately to these three P's - to make it more personal : I definitely look for a man to do these three things to win my heart (and by extension , my fabulous cash and prizes):
Profess: If you're in it with me - I need you to tell me that. (extra points for public PDAs) I also need you to introduce me to people as your girlfriend, your lady, your concubine, whatever. The title is unimportant. The fact that I have one is very important. If we've been seeing each other for a couple of months and you're still introducing me by my name only, we've got a problem. If, on the other hand, you say - "You're a pain in the ass, but your MY pain in the ass" -wonderful things can and will happen for you. If you send flowers to my office - you can pretty much count on receiving my fabulous cash and prizes later that night.
Protect: You don't have to go all caveman and run out and fend off mastodons. But if we're in a crowded club - take my hand so you don't lose me, or put your arm around me so I don't get trampled. Give me your coat if I'm cold. Make me feel cared for and wonderful things can and will happen for you. Defend my honor against the rude drunk in the club, and you're my hero, ergo, you can pretty much write your own ticket with regards to my fabulous cash and prizes.
Provide: I do not require your assistance in paying my bills. When I say provide, I mean if you hear me saying I hate the color of my kitchen and you run out to the Home Depot, get the supplies and paint the kitchen - TRUST- wonderful things can and will happen for you. Even better if you get the supplies and we paint the kitchen together. Pick up the tab, even if I offer to pay, for at least the first 90 days we're dating. When I'm at your place, if you have the foofoo cream I like in my coffee, that's providing.
There's other stuff I like. I like having the door opened for me. I like my neck nibbled on. I like the way you look at me after we've torn up your bed and I'm wearing nothing but your shirt in the morning. But the above are the big three. The things that make me go a gaga for you and give you MY big three unconditionals- love/loyalty, support (even when I'm not entirely sure you are right) and sex. Lots and lots of sex. When those three thing start to go away... you may find yourself getting less support and yes, less sex.
See, this is the point a lot of men miss, when they start complaining that the sex has waned or become routine in their relationships. I can guarantee that one or more of the big three has gone missing, and his woman no longer feels safe, cared for and desired. Desired is HUGE. It's important that you make the distinction between wanting to have sex and wanting HER.
Thanks, Steve, for putting it out there in an honest humorous and clear way for both men and women.
