As I started writing this blog a flood of memories came crashing
down on me about some of the bad dates that I had been
on. Now as I look back on it they are all just
funny little antidotes of my life, experiences that I will be able
to tell people for years and get a laugh out of.
While I start here with the worst it is by no
means the last. If I get a good feed back then I
will post more in the weeks to come.
Young and Dumb
I was 17 and a junior in High School. My parents wouldn't let me get my license until I could get a B average for a semester. Not that I was stupid just lazy, I wasn't challenged enough to want to obtain a B average. The Junior-Senior Prom was coming up, and I wanted to go. When I asked, lets just call her Sandy (a sophomore), she went ballistic. She had bought into the whole “Prom is the best night ever” theory. She went right in to planning mode. This was going to be the greatest night of her life, we were going to get a limo, go to dinner, to the dance and whatever else the night had in store. In hindsight the night would have been great if it wasn’t for the mail man.
Prom was on Friday, Tuesday my report card came. To say that it was less then stellar would be an understatement. It was one of my worst. My parents told me to call off the date. I called “ Sandy ” and conveyed the bad news. You would have thought I just left her at the alter for her maid of honor. I didn’t know that she knew some of the words she shot back at me.
Later that night my dad got a call from her dad. He explained how much the Prom meant to her and that I crushed her feelings. My dad relented and agreed to let me go, with a few modifications to her plans of course. Little did I know that my laziness to pick up a school book would spark one of the worst weeks of my life. First step in the new plan called for me to meet her and have dinner with her family.
I had been to “ Sandy ’s” house a time or two for little make-out sessions but never when anyone else was around. When my dad pulled up in front of her house she came bounding out with a huge smile and wrapped her arms around me. I was thinking to myself, this can’t be all that bad. As my dad started pulling away we started towards the front door. She immediately told me to be on my best behavior because her dad was already not very happy with me. I told her not to worry I had not met a parent yet that didn’t like me. As we approached the door it opened, I was to busy looking at her to notice the extra large rutty faced man standing in the door. He was everything of 6 foot 5 nearly 300 pounds. I suddenly realized that I had found the first parent that wasn’t going to like me no matter what I did.
We had dinner that night and small talk around the table. Then he started dropping it on me. “You know son, I am a little more then disappointed that you didn’t ask me if you could even take my daughter to Prom”. I was a little taken back by this. It wasn’t like we were getting married, it was just Prom. I quickly apologized for my inept foresight and then asked him if I could take his daughter to Prom. His voice bellowed out “like I have a GOD DAMN choice”. He then got up from the table and left the room. Thankfully that was the last time that I had to see him. Tragically step two was about to be explained to me.
Instead of the Limo that I had already ordered up, “ Sandy ’s” mom would be driving us to dinner and then to the dance. We decided to have dinner at a local mall restaurant, thinking that it would give her mom something to do while we were having dinner. The dance started at 7:30 so she was going to pick me up at around 6 o’clock.
Once school got out on Friday I went straight to the strip mall near my house to get a haircut and some flowers for my date. I was on my way home at around 4:15 when I saw my dad’s car coming towards me. As it came closer I could see that he had a passenger, “ Sandy ’s” brother! I was shocked, why was he with my dad? Dad pulled over and I jumped in. Then he answered my question. “Sandy”, her mom and brother were already waiting at the house for me. I still needed to shower and get ready. When we arrived back at the house “ Sandy ’s” mother told me that she didn’t like driving at night so we needed to get a move on it. I didn’t even have enough time to shower I just went and jumped into my Tux, did my hair quickly and then off we went.
We were at the restaurant by 5 o’clock. Remember the plan of her mom, and now brother, hanging out in the mall while we ate. That was out the door too. In fact “ Sandy ” didn’t really want to eat at this restaurant her mother convinced her it would be good because they had a coupon. I didn’t even buy my date’s dinner, I bought her brothers. We were off to the dance by 6. When we arrived shortly after 6:30 the DJ was still setting up his equipment. The Photographer arrived 15 minutes AFTER we did and the first school official showed up a full 30 minutes later.
Once the dance got going she told me that she wasn’t much of a dancer. So we just watched until the occasional slow song came on that she wanted to dance to, even then she couldn’t keep a beat and tried to lead me. Needless to say I was not disappointed when I dropped her off that she didn’t even give me a kiss. Even I knew that this was then end of this budding romance.
After the date I vowed never to let anything like this happen again. I brought my grades up, got my license and never had anyone but me drive on a date. Not that it mattered my first car was repellant to the opposite sex. Let’s just say that for good reason my friends called it the cat box. The only date I went on in that car was with a girl I was in a long distance relationship with.
