to the men: what is THE most important thing for you in a relationship?

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  Posted by jdevon Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:56am PST

  The most important thing for me in a relationship would have to be adequeate communication and adoration from both parties involved. If it's serious, there needs to be an established pact when it comes to communication. To show each other equal amounts of affection is key. It's never fun when one party is more involved than the other. One is left feeling unappreciated, and then the relationship suffers or comes to an end over foolishness.

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  Posted by Slavonia Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:56am PST

  well i feel that in any relationship or marriage trust is the key. my husband has just returned from iraq and he came home and found me with another man and i know that he no longer trust me and i feel that he will leave me. i don't want him to leave but would i be right to try and keep him. i feel that he will try to do it to me but he said that he is not the type to go tick for tat but i really feel that i have loss him.

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  Posted by UdontKNOWme Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:06pm PST

  honesty and communication

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  Posted by euge Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:06pm PST

  Trust, communication, complete openess about the past, likes/dislikes most of all HONESTY.

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  Posted by Open-Minded Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:01pm PST

  Having had three true loves in life, two of which have been marriages - 7 years, and current 33 years, this is what means the most to me, some of which I have learned later in life, I probably knew it earlier, but think my young male charactistics got in the way of putting some things in the proper prospectives.

  Hope that give one view/insight that may give you something to think about. Best Regards - wish you the best in the love department.

  Both marriages were/are great in their own unique ways and time-in-life periods.

  However, as with most, they have been, or would be, better if we had become 'Friends' first, determined that we truly enjoyed the Same 'types' of things in life as goals, hobbies, opinions about important ideas/concepts, etc. We are too different in many of the above things, along with others.

  Not that there have not been, and are not happy times, and joint accomplishments - there have been.

  But if we had measured our relationship First by the things in the first paragraph or two, then we may either have choose to go in other directions in life - or choose both more time to really get to know each other in All ways, and possibly have taken part in pre-marriage counseling. That would have helped to 'understand' each other better from the beginning.

  So, let me try to 'answer' your question: 'Friendship' in the deepest sense - take the 'time' to talk to each other about ALL things Before the committment.

  'Mutual Respect' for each other, and each other's opinions, and each others goals in life - then continue that respect and help it grow stronger, deeper as time goes along ...THEN continue to make the other Aware that you both Respect and love each other as the years go by.

  'Humor' - Absolutely important. To be able to Frequently Smile WITH each other, At each other, and about the normal things that happen each day, each year, etc. If you can not laugh together - then you have a problem that professed 'love' can not handle. Laughter is Love from the heart. A Love that does not have to be spoken. Of course, there are opportunities in most everything that you do that can express Love without words. But to SMILE together is to love together.

  'Sexual Attraction' of course must be there too. Both from early in the relationship and throughout. However, as you notice, it is several steps Down the list of the most important. If you do not have have at least the above traits in your relationship, the sexual attraction will Not continue. As they say, you can NOT live on love (actually sex is what they mean!) And that is So true.

  So I guess if I reaccess my first list of items in a NEW relationship; I would say it should start with Laughter and humor, with that will come Friendship, and soon after that, Respect of the person's makeup - then maybe sex and more will follow.

  Of course if it is JUST a one night 'hook-up' as they say today, and nothing more is expected. Then maybe sexual attraction is all that is needed, or wanted. But simple sexual attraction is about as solid and stable as a three legged stool with two legs missing.

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  Posted by Paul Angus Mon Dec 1, 2008 1:28am PST

  TRUST and responsible because if that two things are not there in a relationship. then other things are to follow.

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  Posted by kelsey Tue Dec 2, 2008 6:27am PST

  sex

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