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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

TRAPPED

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I've been dating someone for a long period of time. The man I fell in love with belongs to someone else. He treats me like I'm the only woman in his life, but I know that he's been with another woman for even longer than he's been with me. At first everything was cool, we kind of kept everything low key because I was also in a relationship with someone else, but my situation was rocky. The person I was with previously and I had broken up, but we were still back and forth trying to make our situation work, but we had a really bad trust issue and the realationship was also long distant. When I hooked up with this new guy, we had so much fun together, we went places, out to eat together and everything, and his company kind of kept my mind off the situation I was in at the time. So we both agreed that we would be the only two people we would see outside or primary relationships. Well, my first relationship eventually dwindled because he found out that I was talking to the new guy. The new guy forbade me to date anyone else, because it would have been outside of the agreement we had made.So,he still had his primary relationship and I only had him. Eventually his girl found out about me and started to piece things together. She P.I.ed alot of information and she finally decides to follow me to ask me some questions about "Her Man" and I. ( I couldn't get mad because after all;he was "Her Man".) She wanted to know if I was seeing him; I asked her what did he say? She said that he told her that he didn't talk to me. I told her she needs to talk to her man about it, however, I did tell her that we used to talk over a year ago, but I ended the relationship when I found out that they were together. Truth is, he just warmed up my car this morning before he left for work. If you were in my shoes, would you disclose everything about your relationship with this man and yourself, or would you continue to lie and let him lie this woman? I have feelings for him and we've been together for a while...Everytime I try to break it off with him, he bangs on my door at night until I open it. He gets really upset when he thinks I'm trying to talk to someone else, and he had dared me to tell her anything, what should I do? I don't want to be a home wrecker.

Related: trapped, the other woman, cheating

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Comments 1-3 of 3
  • serendipity's Avatar
    Posted by serendipity Thu Jan 15, 2009 1:04pm PST

    you want my honest answer? probably not, but here it goes. you could walk away,as hard as it is to be mean, if that is what you have to do to get out or you could make him tell her. if you tell her, it gives him an easy out. either way the situation stinks, and should have never happened. its a vicious circle and you have to break the cycle or you will never be truly happy. his girlfriend has every right to know that she is wasting her time. do you want to be with him exclusively? or are you just wasting your time too? i say you think really hard about what you want the outcome to be. if he breaks it off with his g/f would you be happy with him and be able to trust him? that lust might be gone once you truly have him. and if you dont break it of, he might just be holding you back from any kind of true happiness and new experiences. think about it.

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:00pm PST

    This is just nuts. He " forbids" you to see anyone else but he's seeing his girl and you. And on top of it all, the two of you are lying to the girl he has been with a long time.

    Nothing good can come from this. You are #2. He obviously loves his girl or he would have left her for you. You need to think about where you want to be five years from now. Do you want to be five years older, still lying, loving a liar, and exactly where you are today?

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  • Arlene's Avatar
    Posted by Arlene Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:01pm PST

    well here is the honest truth!!! As someone who went out wit a guy that was taken IT NEVER WORKS OUT!! U invest all ur emotion and energy into it... for what at the end of the day who does he lay with and say those three words that im pretty sure he tells you. yeah im sure the sex was great and that at first the whole "NO STRINGS ATTACHED" worked out in the beginning, but after a while u do develop feels especially when you dont want it to happen *sighs* yeah i know a lil to well So your best bet is to walk away before you end up making him your everything and then when you lose him your gonna have NOTHING!! Obviously he already proved that even if his girl found he would still be with her...he cant have his cake and eat it to sweety!! i know its gonna be hard but We both know what has to be down as soon as you can accept it you can move on and find someone else. its for the best....

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