User post: 3 day rule...yay or nay?

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Wed Dec 3, 2008 1:50pm PST

  Well I am not a man but I have always heard that a man should do the calling and chasing early on, they dont like the agressive girls (except in the bedroom at times) I personally think it should be a two way street and you should do half the work after the relationship has been established. But in the beginning you dont want to be desperate, clingy and too into anyone, so you have to remain cool and calm and not overly available. Let him come to you, then you know he is interested and he feels like the man for catching you.

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  Posted by cresc Wed Dec 3, 2008 2:37pm PST

  hmm...I always thought it was a '2 day' rule. This topic always seem to come up..whether to be aggressive or play it cool, and I kinda wonder what to do myself. Do you be direct and upfront and show interest at the risk of coming off as desperate, or do you do the reverse and play it cool and risk not showing that you're interested? I think it depends on the individuals involved, if they are upfront people whoever contacts first doesn't really matter too much. The chasing thing doesn't really matter to me, but the girl definitely has to reciprocate interest and not play coy otherwise if I don't sense interest, I'll just move on. Also, if they don't seem available I might assume she's dating other people which in itself might cool my interest.

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  Posted by RyneishaB_05 Wed Dec 3, 2008 2:39pm PST

  I never really thought about it, after a date the guy usually calls me first and it was like a day or so later maybe two but never long. I've called guys first in the past. Ummmm i really dont think it matters that really depends on the person. But i think women now a days go after what they want because sometimes if you wait on a guy youll be waiting forever.

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  Posted by biscuiteater Wed Dec 3, 2008 3:07pm PST

  If I had a good time, I think it is perfectly acceptable to drop a text to say so the very next morning. If you receive a text back, great, maybe you can start a conversation, or go on another date in a day or two. People are evolving and the three day rule is quite antiquated at this day in time. Everything moves too fast anymore to wait three days for anything. Anyone who is automatically put off by that is probably in player mode anyway.

  I have been in a relationship for two and a half years with the last person I texted the morning after our first rendezvous. The guy that thinks you are needy and desperate for it, is the same guy trying to date five girls at the same time, and you don't need him.

  Now, that said, calling more than once without a response from the other involved party, that is getting desperate and needy. A simple saying thanks, thinking of you, had a great time last night, etc, will suffice until contact is made from the other party toward you.

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  Posted by ..... Wed Dec 3, 2008 3:26pm PST

  I've always just sent a quick note a day after to say thanks, had a great time! If I get a response back, then it's cool to talk some more. If no response, I figure they weren't that interested. Never heard of the three day rule???? I would think if I hadn't heard back before that they were into someone else or at least not me.

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  Posted by arb63 Wed Dec 3, 2008 3:30pm PST

  As a guy, if I had a great date and wanted to see the girl again, I would NEVER wait three days. I would probably drop a text or an email the next day. Let me also add that I really appreciate it when a girl reaches out to me first to thank me again for dinner or drinks or whatever, along with some expression of interest ("had a great time", "hope to see you again", etc.) To me, this is not chasing, but simply a classy move. After that, I play every situation by ear and never follow "rules". As to the question of guys liking to do the chasing, let me say that I do not and will not "chase" girls. I'm happy to initiate contact, make first moves, be the aggressor, etc., but if a girl is playing "hard to get" and consistently requires chasing, I will instantly move on. There are too many options out there to play games, and that's not the type of person I would want to be with in a relationship. IMHO, communication and expressions of interest should work both ways.

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  Posted by Doug R Wed Dec 3, 2008 4:16pm PST

  No 3 day rule here...If I feel a connection, I am calling you the next day....Were grown-ups right?

  d

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  Posted by A*N*G*I*E* Wed Dec 3, 2008 5:33pm PST

  That is very true, Even after a four year relationship,you call and it's My job or something else. Men will string you along for a peice of ***Especially when there is an ex family involved"or parents" Most men who cling to parents are secure and do not need a woman to go through life with.VOID---I was married for 15 years,and dating now is hard.Men are spoiled and do not know the meaning of being a FATHER,HUSBAND,FRIEND,OR LOVER. Too much Pu*** to chase. What has happend to together-values-morals-monogamy-TAUNTING FRIENDS-making it look as though single life is the way to go.BUTT they will always keep their best piece of ass on the side line and lie to you cause-----? They are afraid to be a MAN.

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  Posted by Mommy2B_of_Twins Wed Dec 3, 2008 7:59pm PST

  I feel, if you like the guy give him a call and if he is into you, then he wont care about the two day or three day rule or even if he was supposed to call you back.. i feel if a guy doesnt like you then you'll know and if he does then it doesnt matter how the contact happends as long as it happens

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  Posted by Christina Wed Dec 3, 2008 9:52pm PST

  u should always be straight with the guy & take a chance. if ure feelin a certain way & want 2 express urself no ones stoppin u but u. theres always more fish in the sea.

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