One of my gal pals and I were discussing relationships between men
and women, while working out. The main focus of our convo was how
we both noticed that when a guy is into a woman, all you'll
hear him say is how hot she is, and how cool she is, ect. On the
other hand, when a lot of girls are feelin' a guy, all you hear
them say is how the guy makes them feel, or how they guy always
tells them how great they are, etc.
My friend and I both found it odd that
while guys seem to become really enamored with a girl, girls seem
to become more enamored with the fact someone is enamored with
them. We also concluded that this would explain why guys have a
harder time bouncing back from a serious relationship( we all know
a guy who is still upset over the first girl who broke his heart)
then girls because they really experience what love is about,
oppose to just loving having a fan club.
When I think back at the best love affairs
of my life, I recall how I was totally into the guy- what they did
for fun, their personal ethic codes- you know, who they were. Sure,
once I saw that what they were into totally complimented what I was
into, I became hooked. But my interest in who they were as people
was the water that grew my seed of love, if you can follow that
metaphor. Truth be told, there were more then a few hotties who
came into my life who I questioned love for, I realize I was more
in love with the idea of love then I was with them. Don't get
me wrong. We certainly had our fun, but when the novelty wore off,
I was hotter then a biscuit to move past them. I'm like a lot
of people- a true blue adrenaline junkie. I like the excitement
flirting with someone cute brings to the day. I like having plans
in the evening and just something to look forward to. But after
vows of 'liking one another' have been exchanged or a kiss,
the passion often dies for me. In other words, the thrill is gone,
and then I have to have the dreaded 'chat' with whomever
that I don't really want to be serious with anyone aka
them.
I think I just realize what most guys have
known all along. Meeting people, flirting with people, making out
and even having sex with people is, if nothing else, plain old fun,
and maybe that's all it needs to be. You don't have to make
something a big Romeo and Juliet production in order to be involved
in it. Girls are programmed to think long-term, while guys are
taught to just think fun. I think guys don't go around
complaining about their relationships the way girls do because they
don't waste their time building people and their relationships
with them to be something they really are not, the way girls tend
to do when in they meet someone. Guys realize that doing something
in the heat of the moment can be left to just that-the heat of the
moment, when a lot of women try to turn that moment into a whole
relationship- which can often be pointless, not to mention
disastrous.
So what do you all think about this whole concept.? I think
of some of my female friends who jump from guy to guy, each time
assisting that this time they have found "the one". Do
you think girls just are more in love with the idea of love then
guys are. Something to think about.
User post: Are you really in love with him or are you just in love with having a fan?
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Posted by Sat Mar 7, 2009 8:34am PST
Report AbuseI think you are on the right track. Guys can be in love with the idea of love too. But, generally, when a guy falls for a woman; they are looking for something long term.
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Posted by Sun Mar 8, 2009 11:06pm PDT
Report AbuseI can't decide if Holly J is a narcissist who assumes everyone else is a also a narcissist or if she's a self-hating woman. A bit of both maybe?
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 3:30am PDT
Report Abusedidnt have time to read all that......but love.....
girls are cursed to love us so its not their fault. doubting? go read Genesis 3-16
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 3:55am PDT
Report Abuseyou say men really know what love is about, well i say real women know what love is. I'm guessing your young and immature.
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 4:40am PDT
Report AbuseOn the contrary Sweet_ga_peach99, I do NOT think men know what love is in comparison to women and I NEVER said that in my post. What I did say was essentially that men seem to be more in tuned with when they are in lust/just into someone for the thrill of being into someone, while for women (at least a lot of women I know), lust/love can become confusing. I am young, but not immature-if you read my post well, you would see that I have been in love and am NOT saying that women do not know what real love is. I am just commenting on in this society, women are really pushed to always be with guys for the purposes of relationships and love, while guys are just taught to go have fun. I think that many of us would agree that when you love someone, you don't just love how they make you feel, but just them-as a person. You love their ideas, dreams, thoughts, quirks, ect. You root for them, you hurt when they hurt, ect. If you're in love with someone for the reason that they buy you flowers or call you beautiful, then you're not really in love with them, but they crap they do for you, which really isn't what love is about.
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 6:33am PDT
Report AbuseI think it all depends upon how old you are and where you are at in life. I think nowadays, most guys and girls when they are young (teens, 20's sometimes into early 30's) enjoy friends of the opposite sex to have just as friends and also have "friends with benefits" or just plain old meet and have animalistic sex with no further contact.
As both sexes get older and have established themselves, then women start looking for a man with long term potential while guys (still enamored by the physical part first) will still "do" a woman he's met, but is also looking for that long term partner. He's less likely to enjoy the "player" status and more interested in looking beyond just the sex.
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 6:42am PDT
Report Abusehi at times c/d ask maself wat all about love.but ended up understanding that its life there4 innevitable (change) en doesnt ask why! miss u all ma taurausmates.embabyzi@yahoo.com
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 6:42am PDT
Report Abusehi at times c/d ask maself wat all about love.but ended up understanding that its life there4 innevitable (change) en doesnt ask why! miss u all ma taurausmates.embabyzi@yahoo.com
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Posted by Mon Mar 9, 2009 6:47am PDT
Report Abuseanother hockey fan 11- I totally agree age has a lot to do with it, because generally with age comes experience.
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