User post: Does a man who cheats on his wife really love her?

On the radio this morning, a topic came up on whether a man who cheats on his wife really love them? Both sides had valid points.  Guys were saying sex outside the marriage is simply a physical thing, a release so to speak, nothing intimate about it, no emotional connection involved, as long as you hide it well, you should be okay.   
Women were saying that if he truly loved his wife it just wouldn't happen period no matter the lust he felt, or the temptation thrown his way, for him to cheat on her meant he really didn't care.

My personal opinion is yes, a man can love his wife yet get pleased sexually elsewhere besides home.  Love isn't the problem here, respect is.  I feel that once you decide to propose and get married, you should understand the responsibilities that come along with that, especially fighting temptation.  You CHOSE to take your relationship to the next level, she said yes with full faith and trust in you, most women do take those vows seriously.  Though to guys sex with someone else may not mean anything, they love their spouse to death and the last thing they want is to lose their family, to the woman thats a pain thats very hard to take.  You didn't respect her enough to avoid the one thing that is a sure relationship ender.  Mind you, in most cases the women find out either by the mans actions, or someone else, the last thing you'd want is her finding out by someone else telling her or bringing it to her attention, now not only is she being cheated on but also humiliated because others around her know but she doesn't.  It's even worse when you have children because it shows lack of respect for your family life as a whole. It's like your saying you were willing to risk all of that just for a simple relief that you could have gotten at home.  Or even worse such as in the McNair case, the wife finding out AFTER he dies!!! How do you get through something like that?! You can't ask why, your hurt, angry, disappointed, here it is he's dead but your left with the questions not just from yourself but the kids and everyone else! How do you get through those emotions, anger, hate, love, hurt you name it! Wow I couldn't imagine.

I always tell people simply because you love someone is not enough of a reason to get married and start a family, both people have to be mentally and physically prepared for such an undertaking, it takes a great deal of maturity, compromise and sacrifice.  No relationship is easy but with the right amount of understanding and communication it can be made less hard.  Understand that issues that you had before marriage will not go away simply because your married, if your future husband is a partyer flirt, etc, that will NOT go away with marriage.  If your future wife is insecure, jealous etc...that will not go away with marriage.  If two people are serious about making that step then certain things will start to wain before hand so that they can go into the relationship with a clear mind and work on it together.  Unfortunately that rarely happens.  I can't tell you how many weddings I've been too for friends, families and co workers where I'm saying to myself 'goodness these people should not be getting married!' But to each it's own, where the delusion that once you get married all problems stop come from is beyond me lol. 

So ladies I want to hear your take on this?

Guys I want to really hear your opinions as well. In fact I want to hear how it would be taken if the shoe was on the other foot, what would you do if you found out your wife whom never gave you an inkling of a clue as to her 'dipping' out on you, was cheating on you? Would you accept the it didn't mean anything reasoning? How would you take it if it came from your friends or peers? Would you leave or would you stay? If you stayed, how would it affect your trust and relationship as a whole, could you still look at her the same?