User post: Guys.. I need your advice... Please help me...

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  Posted by jessica Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:07am PDT

  hi Cattleya,

  Good day...I hope that u n ur baby r best in health.. First of all I pray that God will guide u in this matter. It's very difficult for u since u r young n with a baby. Don't u ever think of commiting suicide. it is not the best way to end ur life this way as well as put ur baby's life in risk because it is not ur baby;s fault that a happy love story to end this way. I'm pretty sure that a ot of people loves u dearly; ur family, friends as well as God. Take this as a challenge from God. Now u onld need to concentrate on urself n the baby. complete ur studies, get a job n support ur baby. make a better place for ur baby. i hope that u do not think of getting support from ur ex be it just moral support or even monetary vise. why do u need money from someone who is not even worthy to be a responsible father to ur baby. he is not even worthy of ur love, so why do need to waste ur time thinking, longing n crying over him? if u have the guts to break off from him, then i'm sure that u can carry on with ur life n live without him. At this time, just submit ur self to God, ask God to forgive all ur sins and guide u through ur ways n paths n start over with ur preciou baby. Please remember that in this world everyone can forsake u, hurt u, but only God can heal all those pain n love u tremendously. Trust in God. God bless u sis.

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  Posted by Kennith Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:10am PDT

  i gess i lost something here you broke it off with him so where is the drama? you lost him a long time ago you say you have broke it off before so why would he keep puting up with your games. he may not take care of your son but is it HIS son think of this for him it was just damage control you are young and still want to play games make him pay child suport and stop playing games with the next guy or he will walk to if you want a man let him be one tell him what you need before kidds come in to the mix you did this to your self get over it talk to an older womon at least 45 or more life is better when you both know the rules going in just dont keep changing them on him to keep the upper hand you need to take control of you life before you involve some one else

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  Posted by Marla Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:59am PDT

  well I feel your pain. I was a single mom for 10yrs and I know it can be a bit difficult in the beginning, but suicide is a cheaters way out. First stop thinking about yourself, your baby comes first. Not you, not your ex, your baby. The only support you should be looking for from this guy is child support. Others will walk away you don't need it, but they are not the ones with the child to support you are. If he is grown up to have a relationship for 4yrs and have a baby, then he is grown up to support the child finanically, and be a responsible father.....not a dead beat father. Second you need to move on, don't go to the same place's he goes. Fine different places, interest, meet new friends, and mingle with the old friends. Finish school, that example is the best one you can past on to your child....which is knowledge is power. He may have a new girlfriend, but you have the best part....a baby, school, a future to look forward to. And there IS someone out there who will love you and your child. Never settle for less, and never---ever think of suicide as an easy way out. Because the one who really losses in that decision is the child. Which will end up going to the father if you take that road.

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  Posted by Sarah Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:20am PDT

  First off aweetie let me tell you...Although it may be hard to see now cuz your hurt But no man is worth feelin like that.If he's already seein someone that soon. That means he was already seein her. Thats why there was nothin in his phone.What you must do now is what about 85% of us women in America are doin now...Woman up! Worry about yourself and your child. File for child support. If he's any kind of man he will also Man up and take care of his child. If is doesn't want to be there when he needs to be. Don't allow him to be when it convient for him. You dad is right. He knows a lot more about men/life than you do. So take his advice. He loves you and your child. As your father he wants what's best for you. I really hope eveything works out for you and your baby.

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  Posted by urassismine2 Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:25am PDT

  Okay,..Here it is...Stop! Your young and "raw" right now. This is not a good place for you and your child. Sit down with your dad, and tell him what is going on in your life. You need support, and your going to need it NOW! Let your folks know that you need them to go with you(a united front for your baby) to the "child support agency", so that you can do everything for your "childs benefit". You need to do this before he gets someone else pregnant! He has released himself from you and broken the bond between the two of you. He has been dishonest, in being a thief with your "time" and a liar, by bebaving as if his love for you was growing into something more. He has lessened the idea that "your childs" youth will have the continuity of a safe mental growth environment, because of his selfish "behavior. He has thrown you away, for a new woman(she knew about you)and that doesn't feel good. Thats okay, because in reality, you have been saved from more worse damage, because of his "behavior. If your getting the theme here,..."ALL IS BEHAVIOR"...It should really piss you off, but just for a minute! Have your dad, roll up to "family court". Take care of business to get the maximum child care for your child! Your child is going to need a bank account as they grow up, food, health care, toys, trips to disney world, bus fare, fresh sneakers, smile and comfortability, child care, private school, college, and everything else that you, your parents, your friends, your associates, and the pastor can think about coming up with, for the benefit of presenting to the world, a beautiful human being, who is happy about who they are in life. You want the maximum amount because if he's a triflin individual, your child is going to need all that they can get, to overcome thier fathers behavioral traits. This is not mean,.. It is exactly what your "ex" wanted for his child,..he just forgot that he had put the order in for all of this stuff...(when your finished,..read my blog, anytime)

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  Posted by Anita Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:43am PDT

  First and foremost, no man alive is worth you committing suicide over. Your life is too valuable and the baby needs you. You need to focus on what you need to do for yourself and your baby. If he doesn't want to support the baby, there are legal ways of making him do his part. He shouldn't even be a factor to you at this point. The pain that comes along with heartbreak goes away. It doesn't feel that way now, I'm sure, but it does go away. This I know from experience. Just keep your head up and keep trucking.

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  Posted by Cattleya Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:46am PDT

  thank you guys for your nice comment.. i really appreciated it whether it's negative or not..

  by the way.. i am already 23 y.o and my ex was 21 y.o.. yes i am older than him. and he got me pregnant last last year. i gave birth last august 2008 so my baby (boy) now is already 1yr n 2 months. i broke up with him last september bcuz of him. he wants me to sacrifice our communication just for the sake of his studies.. he's taking nursing. i just can't accept the fact that he didn't approach me and beg for 2nd chance. he just let this things happen. so that means he really wanted someone else which i can't accept either because he left me with a baby. i love my baby so much. it just hurt me cuz i can't raise it by myself the way i wanted. i have his own nanny which my dad lend me one so that i could focus on my studies.

  i hope to hear more from you guys and from the other people who can read my blog. this is my first time i ever posted blog here. i kinda bit like it cuz i know that there's people who are reading my blog unlike to my other blog site. thank you so much! and god bless you all

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  Posted by Cattleya Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:50am PDT

  thank you guys for your nice comment.. i really appreciated it whether it's negative or not..

  by the way.. i am already 23 y.o and my ex was 21 y.o.. yes i am older than him. and he got me pregnant last last year. i gave birth last august 2008 so my baby (boy) now is already 1yr n 2 months. i broke up with him last september bcuz of him. he wants me to sacrifice our communication just for the sake of his studies.. he's taking nursing. i just can't accept the fact that he didn't approach me and beg for 2nd chance. he just let this things happen. so that means he really wanted someone else which i can't accept either because he left me with a baby. i love my baby so much. it just hurt me cuz i can't raise it by myself the way i wanted. i have his own nanny which my dad lend me one so that i could focus on my studies.

  i hope to hear more from you guys and from the other people who can read my blog. this is my first time i ever posted blog here. i kinda bit like it cuz i know that there's people who are reading my blog unlike to my other blog site. thank you so much! and god bless you all

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  Posted by bamasweetpeech Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:51am PDT

  After reading your story, I am utterly confused. One reason being the fact that you say you broke up with him more than once, the other being that you write like someone who doesn't speak english very well.

  My advice,(although you may not like what I have to say)would be, go to school and try to better yourself, as he is obviously trying to do for himself. Many times people who sit back and wait for someone else to take care of them, end up missing out on happiness for themselves and their child. Also, if you keep yourself busy you might not dwell on the situation. One more thing...if you want him so bad, DON"T BREAK UP WITH HIM and then expect him to sit around crying over you. You can only kick a dog so many times before he either bites you or runs away.

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  Posted by Kayla Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:53am PDT

  i cant say i am the best at giving advice but I do know how you feel right now. My boyfriend broke up with me after being together for a few years too. He sent me a text no less. All I can suggest you do is concentrate on your baby. Making that little one the very center of your world. When my boyfriend broke up with me I was so broke that I didn't think anything else mattered. But I was visiting my sister, she just had a baby and isn't doing so well. I went to help her out and that baby saved my life. I left a few days ago but I spent a about a month with her and I am doing so much better now because of my nephew. I have had bad days since I left but I just talk to my friends and family. They make me laugh and cry sometimes. But they are always there for me. I hope that everything works out for you and your baby. Please take care, that little needs you morethan ever now, because the dad isn't there for them. Just remember when you see that smile from them nothing else matters.

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