My husband is not a very smelly person, he has very good hygiene
which I'm thankful for. The problem is the scent of deodorant
he chooses to wear. When we were first dating he wore a very
earthy, kind of spicy scented one that I just adored. I love those
kind of smells and I think even told him more than once how much I
loved the way he smelled. Well a few months ago I noticed he
started smelling, well, off. I found the scent unpleasant and
couldn't figure out what it was. I realized it was his
deodorant when he asked me to pick him up some in the ocean scent.
I probed him on which he liked best without coming out and saying
that I hated it, but he insisted it was his favorite. So I went to
the store and ended up buying him the scent that I liked. I know,
sort of passive/aggressive but they were actually out of his
preferred scent so I bought what I liked. I got it home, told him
they would out of the ocean scent and what I got him, and his
response was "that's not what I asked for, I don't
want it." Damn. I had hoped he would use it so I could gush
about how good he smelled, I wanted to be subtle about telling him
which one I preferred. Well now that plan is gone and I'm not
sure what to do.
I understand that scent is a very personal thing and I would
probably have an issue if he complained about my favorite perfume.
I don't know how to gently tell him that I am actually less
likely to get close to him when he uses the ocean scented one (it
really is that much of a turn off for me) and how much the other
scent just makes me want to cling to him in a good way. Any one
have any advice for me? It feels awkward bringing this up because
part of me thinks that it's a minor thing that I should put up
with, but on the other hand I really can't stand the scent,
especially when it mixes with his natural scent. I don't want
to hurt him or make it sound like I am dictating what scents he can
wear and what he can't.
User post: Help! I need advice talking to my husband about how he smells.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 4:32pm PDT
Report AbuseI'm not married or anything but I do have a boyfriend that I have been with for a year.
The easiest thing to do is say to him that he always smells good but with the new deoderant you have been using well you dont know what it is about it but it doesnt smell good. dont blame it on him but blame it on the deodurant. Or tell him to just try different ones to be creative so that he can say its tried'em all. Make a game out of it or just tell him the truth.
Not much I can tell you about that.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 4:49pm PDT
Report AbuseFragrance is very personal. My husband loves how Chanel No. 5 smells on me. Well I love the scent of it in the store too, but when I wear it I don't care for how it smells on me. Just be honest with him and tell him you'll also agree to only wear fragrances that appeal to both of you.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 5:06pm PDT
Report AbuseI agree that fragrance is a personal choice, but this is your husband. I am surprised that you are uncomfortable telling him that you don't like how his deo smells. Subtle didn't work - it usually doesn't, btw, when a person has a firm opinion about something. Why don't you just tell him? I am all for personal respect and sensitivity to another's preferences, but it's just deo. Given how saturated the personal hygiene market, I'm sure the two of you can find a compromise. Pick your battles!
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 5:46pm PDT
Report AbuseI have had the same problem. And I was just honest with him. I told him 'I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I really don't like the deodorant your using.' he asked why and I told him i didn't like the scent and I didn't think it was strong enough because I could still smell a little of his 'natural' scent mixed with it. He was disappointed, but thanked me from stopping him from going out in public with an odor.
so maybe you could give that a try. It worked for me.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 5:58pm PDT
Report Abusei think you are being way too picky.
shouldn't you be thankful for your man
and not his scent?
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 6:22pm PDT
Report AbuseJust tell him straight up. He's a guy and guys like to fix things. You tell him there's a problem with how his deodorant smells he's going to want to fix that. Plus guys really don't get hints from women as much as we should. Now it is true that no one likes criticism, but guys will respond to it. You don't have to be a drill instructor about it but he will appreciate an up front approach. Unless he's a jerk, but then his smell would be the least of your problems.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 6:48pm PDT
Report Abusethis is to whooohoo Her man should be grateful he has Her! Anyway on the subject you have 2 choices: Honesty. or developing a sudden allergic reaction to his deodorant. I'd go for honest, so when really important issues come up you can have valid discussions.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 8:05pm PDT
Report AbuseYour married never be afraid to tell him any thing
have an open relationship with him don't let him walk around just smelling like anything. Hes your husband. Why let him walk around like that?
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 8:09pm PDT
Report Abuseyou could just switch the deodorant, he may not even notice the difference, I did that to my husband & I still dont think he ever realized it yet.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 9:38pm PDT
Report AbuseI will ask him let's go somewhere pick a place dinner somewhere and tell him let's go buy the both of you some cologne and let him pick out one with your advice how it smell and he do the same for you and if you have to pay for it then do so then every one is happy and attractive more to each other good luck it should work nicely.
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